Deep down, “Teen Beach Movie” feels like a loving and affectionate tribute to Ex-Mouseketeer, the late great Annette Funicello (to which the film is dedicated to). The gorgeous and talented actress spent her early years on the Mickey Mouse Club winning over the hearts of young boys, and then moved in to some of the most pulpy and celebrated surf movies. Those movies like “Beach Blanket Bingo,” and “Muscle Beach Party” featured a lot of music, simple plots, and were a celebration of surfing. With Frankie Avalon, Funicello gained immortality. What’s even more surprising is in many respects, Maia Mitchell resembles Annette Funicello. When she begins puffing her hair with her pigtails, and transforming in to the movie, she’s almost a living embodiment of the lovely young Funicello. The movie was being filmed before Funicello passed away, so perhaps it’s just all one big coincidence. Or perhaps it’s just serendipity.
What does “Hunchback” teach the audience? Whether you’re gorgeous or ugly, if the hot girl says you’re cool, you’ll become the hero. Also, the nice guy always finishes last. Surely Quasimodo rides off in to the sunset with his crowd of supporters in the end, but who is Esmerelda going home with later that night? “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” is a bastardization from Walt Disney, where they take the tragic and brilliant tale of Quasimodo and water it down so much it’s barely an adaptation when we see it in animated force.