Tag Archives: E

Envy (2004)

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Here’s my pitch for a product: A spray that causes really bad movies to vaporize into air. The first victim I’d choose for the spray would be “Envy”. This is a heaping helping pile of excrement. “Envy” is purely and utterly awful and I just don’t know where a plot with such potential, and a cast of great actors could have possibly taken a turn for the worst. Now, if I’m not mistaken, this is a comedy… isn’t it? Or at least it was supposed to be. Well there were Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Amy Poehler, and yet I didn’t laugh once.

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

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eternalsunshineIf you could wipe a tragic event from your life completely from your memory, would you? If you could wipe clean a tragic, abusive, or damaging relationship with someone clean from your mind, would you? If you, I, anyone had the chance, would we? I know I would, but the tragic picture painted here by the talented Michel Gondry and Charlie Kaufman. While I just did not like the duo’s previous outing and my first introduction in to their abilities “Human Nature”, I did manage to find a lot to like in films like “Adaptation.,” and “Being John Malkovich.” Regardless, “Eternal Sunshine” might seem like a high concept confusing movie for the casual movie-goer who doesn’t want to think, but open your mind and watch this heartbreaking, often sad, and very surreal love story that will surely manage to play on many viewer’s vulnerabilities.

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Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

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exorcistthebeginningwsr“The Exorcist” is my favorite horror movie of all time and to this day no matter how much I see it, it’s still the most intelligent, character based horror film I’ve ever seen; the rest of the series? Not so favorite of mine, but regardless, after a lot of hype about this movie and the constant problems, we’re given this. After nearly five years of filming and constant problems (Original director dying, Original star dropping out, and so forth), this film basically bombed big time with both critics and movie-goers despite moderate success in the box-office. The original director Paul Schrader — who was kicked off the production (You’re morons Hollywood execs) in favor of Renny Harlin (Again, morons!) — directed his own version before being forced off, and while I imagine it can’t be as bad as this, I hope it’s at least an improvement.

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Extreme Ops (2002)

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extremeopsThis is not regular ops, this is not plain ops, no this is Extreme Ops, what are Extreme Ops? Who knows, and we never really find out, but in this film we meet a group of extreme risk takers and extreme stuntmen, not sports stars but more rebellious young men and women who will take any risk. They’re gathered by an extreme commercial director to record an extreme DV camera commercial, but when they arrive on the mountain to record some sequences, they’re accidentally neighbored with a group of terrorists that think the group of extreme boarders, skiers and risk takers are really CIA agents out to stop their operation. Not very smart terrorists considering they’d probably be aware by now who is or isn’t a government official.

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Equilibrium (2002)

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If I was to explain this movie to someone in one sentence it would be this: “George Orwell meets John Woo”. I thought about Orwell he’d probably approve of this film. The center for which all the soldiers come from is called “Equilibrium” or balance as it is layman’s terms; they’re all injected with an opium drug that they carry that numbs their emotions and sense of guilt while they’re controlled by the heavily armed heavily secure government facility. Paired with incredible direction and writing by Kurt Wimmer and sleek stylish cinematography by Dion Beebe, we’re given a glimpse into a world that’s still imperfect despite it being under control.

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Empire (2002)

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“Empire” is a fiasco for the record books, one that desperately tries to carve heroes out of thugs, gangsters, and deviants, and fails horribly. The movie, noticeably, takes much of its formula from better gangster flicks, including “Scarface” and rips apart the movies, taking each element, pasting it together in this. The entire narrative and pitiful attempts at character development are annoying, slow and so predictable it’s disgusting. Franc. Reyes directs this like a film student, never contributing anything new or different to talk about.

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Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

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Admittedly, I was scared a little when I saw Dean Devlin’s name in the credits, but his influence seems surprisingly restrained and minimized only to special effects. “Eight Legged Freaks” is a loving and raucous homage to the fifties giant features and a rather great one at that. Rather than try to depict a stern narrative about a spider invasion, director Ellory Elkayem embraces the silliness and instead provides a pulpy monster movie with vicious violence, and some damn good dark comedy.

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