Horny Diver: Tight Shellfish (Zetsurin ama: Shimari-gai) (1985) (DVD)

HDTSAs with most Nikkatsu Roman Porno, if you’re in it for the hardcore sex, you’re likely going to be disappointed. These films are mainly for the sake of kitsch value and their rarity. “Horny Diver” is one of the many in the later Nikkatsu titles that exercises blurring with the more graphic parts of certain sex scenes.

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Nurse Diary: Wicked Finger (Kangofu nikki: Itazura na yubi) (1979) (DVD)

nursediaryAt barely seventy minutes long, the newest Nikkatsu Erotic Films release “Nurse Diary: Wicked Finger” is less Asian erotica and more Asian melodrama. Young gorgeous Ryoko (Etsuko Hara) is having an affair with her boss at the bospital. He is next in line to become the chief of medicine, and in an effort to escape the nurses dorm she inhabits, she moves in to her own apartment.

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Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders (2011)

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To be honest, I’m not even sure how to approach this film in any critical sense. The movie opens with character Angie emerging from a pool and narrating the movie. But–is she a narrator? Or a host? Is this supposed to spoof reality show, or is this an actual story? Director Jim Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman) can never really seem to care at all, so he basically just throws whatever sticks to the wall, and distracts us for seventy five minutes with soft core scenes of busty women being drilled, and busty women having sex with other busty women.

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Barbarella (1968)

Jane Fonda is at her sheer sexiest starring in this psychedelic science fiction flick based on the comic book, as Barbarella an astronaut from Earth who is sent to Sogo to look for the missing scientist Durand Durand. From the opening scenes where Barbarella is floating undressing from her space suit during craftily placed title sequences, you know you’re in for something out of this world. Let the innuendos and softcore porn fly! Watch Jane Fonda flirt, watch Jane Fonda strip, watch Jane Fonda be raped by a music machine as Durand Durand strums it along.

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The Vampire Lovers (1970) [Blu-ray]

The goddess Ingrid Pitt roams the European Countryside spreading lesbianism–er–vampirism to hapless farms and mansions as the dreaded Mircalla. Pitt is at her absolute sexiest in one of the most erotic Hammer films ever made. Pitt stars as the buxom and desirable Mircalla who masquerades as damsels and maidens thanks to her handler. Left at the manors of her hosts for weekends, she insinuates herself in to the family, and eventually seduces the innocent taut daughters of the owners of the house, engaging in affairs, eventually transforming them in to her own vampiric minions. Pitt absolutely glows on screen as the irresistible Mircalla who worms her way in to households across the countryside, and takes every chance to romance young daughters whose lives are filled with monotony and suppression.

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Bloodrayne: The Third Reich (2010)

Bloodrayne-3-Pic-1What is Uwe Boll’s obsession with the holocaust? First he sets this new “Bloodrayne” snore fest in the holocaust and has the gall to try for his own Holocaust documentary. This from the man who created “Blubberella.” In any consolation Natassia Malthe is still very sexy as Rayne and has the same charisma as the former Rayne Kristanna Loken, never missing a beat. Rayne still looks like a hardcore cosplayer lost in a time warp, though. So in the midst of soldiers and World War II, she looks incredibly out of place. Where does she get all of that leather?

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You Have to See This! Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)

Russ Meyer was a man who loved breasts. He surely enjoyed the female form, but mostly he loved breasts. He fetishized them, worshipped them, and centered his entire career making films that idolized them in some form or another. Russ Meyer is one of the last directors who cast and adored curvy busty women, and though he’s written off sometimes as an exploitation director, Meyer definitely was a dying breed of male. Sure, breasts are still worshipped in today’s society, but not many directors have the guts to reveal them so much in their films.

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