I have never not laughed so much since I saw “Gone Fishin'” and that says a lot. I was dying to see “Fanboys” ever since I met eyes with the theatrical trailer and whether or not it was because of the constant recuts or my sky high anticipation, “Fanboys” suffers from mediocrity. Sure it’s not a bad movie but it’s not a particularly good one because every joke and every single “Star Wars” reference falls like a flat football and falls hard. The war between Trekkies and Warsies, debating on Boba Fett, discussing the connection between Luke and Leia as a romantic couple it’s all here and can I get a giant yawn? Because none of it is ground that hasn’t been treaded by a million fans before and beyond but “Fanboys” attempts to corner the market and use it as a buffer for the comedy that is never really all that funny.
Tag Archives: F
Friday the 13th (2009)
I think the only people who hold grudges more than Jason are the religious and it’s a known fact that Jason is one angry bitter man whose mom is taken down at the first five minutes of the 2009 reboot called simply: “Friday the 13th.” A combination of the first, second and third films in the series, “Friday the 13th” seek to completely redo Jason and start over with a clean slate. This is a great idea especially after desperation from studios forced the masked killer in to deep space and the future of mankind. This is a stripped down reboot that director Marcus Nispel handles with care, because it’s a task liable to be screwed up once he and the writers decide on fitting an origin, a motivation, and the discovery of the hockey mask in only ninety minutes. But he rises to the occasion and actively keeps the story moving with a body count of almost ten people and an admittedly uneven pace. Despite the caveat and probably because of it, Nispel’s treatment of Voorhes makes for the first enjoyable experience at the movies in a long while.
Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)
As a product coming out of the gates of the Weinstein throes where they took a painfully mediocre television series and turned it in to a form of producing an honest to goodness horror film, “Feast” kicked my ass from here to Thailand as a truly great horror comedy with some bone breaking action, creepy horror, and genuine comedy that induced laughter whenever it damn well pleased. “Feast II” takes the same turns as the original did but this time with Gulager able to take his own twist and storytelling abilities and include his own usual suspects i.e. his wife and father who prominently featured in the first half of the sequel known as “Sloppy Seconds.”
Fuck (2005)
Oh man, do I love the word fuck. I use it and I use it all the time and though it can often sully my attempts to be taken seriously by a few individuals, I use the word fuck and all of its variations whenever and however I please. It’s practically a bodily function. And even my most foul mouthed friends have taken great pains in getting me to use it less frequently. People are very startled by the word Fuck, and no one knows why. What is it about this four letter word that sends people in to a fit? Why does the word fuck send even the most liberal people in to a series of gasps and furrowed brows?
Funny Games U.S. (2008) (DVD)
I recently watched “The Strangers” in theaters, and it was a thriller very heavily reminiscent of “Funny Games” in where our villains simply are. And the studios heavily marketed on the momentum from Haneke’s film to make it seem like a branch off from “Funny Games.” That’s likely because with both films our villains remain ambiguous. I never understood why we have to know the motives of our villains in horror films, these days. Why do we need to know about their life, or tragedy, and why do they need to have a theme of revenge or financial gain? Why can’t they just be psychopathic murderers who simply crossed you and seek to kill you?
Funny Games U.S. (2008)
The entire time I was observing the villains in Haneke’s remake of “Funny Games,” I could only ironically think back to the monologue Tim Roth gave in the opening of “Pulp Fiction.” His story about a man who robbed a bank over the phone by claiming he’d shoot a child, while the bank was never sure if there was ever actually a child was reminiscent of the two young men who could have posed a threat to the couple and their child here. There’s never an actual indication that they’re harmful in the beginning, nor is there an indication of their deadly capability until coerced with difficulty by their victims, there’s only the possibility, and sometimes that’s all people need to incite petrifying fear in a stranger.
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
Some comic books just aren’t meant to be made into movies. There are just some concepts that look great on a page with a great artist that completely fails to translate on screen. “Fantastic Four” will forever be one of the prime examples of this argument. Tim Story and co. have failed to prove many people wrong in the assertion that this story can be turned into a serious action packed movie. On its surface it’s artificial fluff, a complete piece of colorful junk like cotton candy that’s there for nothing more than to look pretty and provide you with an instant bit of pleasure, and yet really has no long lasting effects or nutritional value.