I’m one of the very few people who actually enjoyed “Journey to the Center of the Earth” for what it was. It was nothing more than a ninety minute roller coaster ride with 3D specks that took the audience through some fun sights and sounds. “Journey 2” is basically the follow-up practicing that very routine all over again. It’s intent is to take you through the various dangers and awe inspiring wonders of the mysterious island before actually telling a story or exploring its characters. One thing it does have going for it, is that it makes reading and compiling information look sleek and exciting. If Dwayne Johnson is doing it, maybe the young audience this film appeals to, will.
Tag Archives: Fantasy
Detention (2012)
Director Joseph Kahn basically creates the “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” of slasher movies, a movie so meta and so self-aware that a subset of audience members may be convinced this movie is actually an affirmation of the fads this movie tackles. I imagine some folks will smile thinking “He really gets us” while Kahn is pointing and laughing at them in the background. Kahn seems to have little respect or regard for people in to fads and spends most of the movie skewering just about everyone in this odd vacuum of cyclical nostalgia and retro crap with a modern age lacking an actual identity of its own. “Detention” is a film that many movie fans will either love or hate. I often fell in to the category of despising it but also kept dabbling in the area of admiration for being so unpredictable and original.
Ted (2012)
For a purported comic genius his knuckle dragging fans claim he is, Seth McFarlane really does lob something of a soft ball in his cinematic debut. I can just imagine Seth one day playing with a teddy bear and giving it foul language in his Peter Griffin voice while laughing hysterically and snorting another line off his Asian hooker’s backside, thus leading to writing the script for “Ted.” McFarlane’s cinematic debut is nothing short of abysmal and infantile with the basis of the film centered on a talking live teddy bear with a foul mouth and serious sex addiction. His owner and friend is a man child whose own immaturity borders on mental retardation at times. But hey, “Family Guy” fans might just find this to be genius. Because talking inanimate objects is comedy gold apparently.
Spawn (1997)
I just never saw the hype behind Spawn when I was a kid in the nineties. While everyone sang the praises of Todd McFarlane, and everyone I knew ate up the Spawn comics with a shit eating grin, convinced Spawn was the second coming of comicdom, I just could never understand the big deal. Throughout the decade of the nineties I’d be like that guy in the museum who’d have to take four steps back to try to understand a painting and then just shrug in confusion and move on to something else. That was me with Spawn. Everyone I knew loved it, I’d take four steps back time and time again to re-evaluate if I was missing something key to it, shrug and move on to something else. Even with the meticulous collectible action figures being released for collectors, and the spin-offs of the comic being doled out for fans, I just could never quite grasp why this title in particular struck a chord.
Batman Forever (1995)
Burton out. Keaton out. Score out. And apparently, Bruce Wayne, out. “Batman Forever” is where the series started to eventually fall off the fails and Joel Schumacher’s approach toward these movies are completely different and absolutely radical from what Burton originally envisioned. Burton depicted Gotham as a sprawling endless canyon of darkness and shadows while Batman was mostly polarized and closed off outcast from the world. In Schumacher’s eyes, Gotham is now a bright and neon wonderland and Schumacher’s handling of Batman and many other key characters of the mythos make “Batman Forever” in to a veritable gay burlesque show.
Batman & Robin (1997)
It’s funny. Back in the day when I used to love any superhero movie that came in to theaters, I found myself getting excited by “Batman & Robin.” Why? Because he mentions Superman in the opening for a brief second. Nevertheless that was when fans and Warner were still considering a Batman and Superman movie, and that never came to fruition, thankfully. “Batman & Robin” is a glorious mess. It’s a movie so awful that it’s compelling at times.
Batman Returns (1992)
In the first “Batman,” the dark knight is described and thought of as something of an urban legend. He hides in the shadows, is mistaken for something of a myth, and only arrives to instill justice when the police are outnumbered. In “Batman Returns” Batman is basically the police. You assume for a massive political event in the first twenty minutes of the film, there’d be barricades and strong police force, but Penguin is able to pretty much wreak havoc with the Red Triangle gang, while the streets are left in tatters with no police around. Only does the order get restored when Batman arrives and Commissioner Gordon is left to thank Batman for saving the day while the police are seemingly sitting with their thumbs up their collective butts.