Donnie Darko: First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have… reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It’s just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?
Tag Archives: Fantasy
Justice League – The New Frontier (2008) (Two-Disc Special Edition DVD)
It was the Atomic age, it was the age of cynicism, is the age of optimism, it was the age of civil rights and feminism, yes folks, “Justice League: New Frontier” is not just a new frontier in its world, but a new frontier for the DC Animated Universe who for once approach a more adult Justice League with intellect, sophistication, and wonderful if startling glimpses at politics, racism, and military corruption. The folks behind the film vie for a more young adult approach by offering perspectives both psychological and social in these hero’s lives and dares to look behind the gods into the personalities.
Doctor Who: The Complete Third Series (DVD)
I have to admit that I’ve never been a fan of “Doctor Who.” If you talk to our resident contributor William Garcia, you’ll find a Doctor Who fan who surpasses every other Doctor Who fan before him. But me as a casual viewer found Doctor Who thanks to the Sci Fi channel here in America who broadcast the entire series every week. I was never a fan before so I went into it with a general ignorance on everything associated with the universe and found it entertaining. I thought Billy Piper was a cute heroine, I liked her charm and courage, and I thought she was a great pairing with Christopher Eccleston, my original lure to the series.
Epic Movie (2007)
It’s sad that the days when a spoof showed potential of pure brilliance or cult standing are long gone and now usher in nothing but incredibly awful or mediocre movies that assume spoofing is done best when satirizing the scenes and not the ideas. “Epic Movie” is the next step in the evolution of this sub-genre where you can see the writers getting collectively lazier with each title as the years pass.
The Bridge to Terabithia (2007)
Anna Sophia Robb and Josh Hutcherson give strong performances as the two heroes of the tale who find connection with one another in a school that’s basically locked them out socially. Jess is a bullied outcast, and Leslie is a free spirited thinker who is instantly a target for bullying once she displays individual thought. The performances from the child actors had me at attention and they both deliver their characters with great talent. Hutcherson’s take on the conflicted and neglected artist is often times heart wrenching, while Leslie is an quickly sympathetic heroine who we want to see more of as the time goes on her. Robb has a wide-eyed innocence about her that makes her the perfect compliment to the principle cast.
Cloverfield (2008)
We live in an age where we’re always watching someone. Cameras watch us, guards watch the cameras, surveillance videos keep an eye on potential criminals, we watch people on web cams, we pay to watch women undress for us, we peer into celebrities’ lives through tabloids and candid cameras, we watch reality shows built around surveillance cameras and hidden video, and we’re constantly being watched by our government who keep us monitored and at close range, so it was only natural that horror movies would grow to reflect that. “Cloverfield” is one in the “Blair Witch” formula that doesn’t try to give us a film, but more purports to give us actual home videos through the eyes of average upper class New Yorkers and keep us watching through a camera lens. Through this camera, we are the voyeurs.
Our Favorite Big Bads!
What do we mean by our favorite big bads? Don’t be fooled, we’re not listing our all time favorite Kaijus, because we’re not big kaiju fans. What we are fans of are giant monsters, monsters that stomp, monsters that destroy, and monsters with a point and purpose. Since “Cloverfield” is going to be stomping into theaters January 18th with incredible anticipation and mystery, we thought ringing in the anticipated film with a list of our all time favorite giant monsters would be a kick.
So we sifted through our library of movies, we googled a lot of giant monsters and we went through some of our favorites. In the end, even though we liked Gamera, and Mothra, and Mechagodzilla, and even though we passed on some like Voltron, and the beast from The Relic, we couldn’t help but feel a giant affection for these monstrous furious baddies who took a small city and made it their bitch. Some of these are commentaries on nuclear war, some of these are commentary on space travel and disrupting our oceanic settings, and some of these are just plain old mean and angry beasts who take joy from eating helpless citizens and hapless police officers.
“Cloverfield” and a mysterious giant monster wreaks pure bloody havoc on New York City soon, and we thought that it was the right time to invite some contemporaries over in hopes that JJ Abrams’ monster ends up as horrifying as these fine individuals. Lock up your children, call the army, and ready your tanks, these baddies are on the prowl!