It’s almost like watching teenagers act out “The Deep” on a student theater stage somewhere, because in the end, “Kraken” is basically just that. It’s a very low rent and C grade variation of “The Deep,” minus the compelling story, and wonderful characterization. And oh yes, there’s the small case of the acting and lack thereof. This low rent thief stars two people whom will garner two reactions from you. One will be “Who?” while the other will be “O-h-h-h-h-h… who?” Victoria Pratt, or as I call her “The hot chick from the crappy X-men show,” stars in “Kraken” as a marine biologist looking for an underwater treasure. Stop me, if you’ve heard this one.
Tag Archives: Fantasy
The Covenant (2006)
It’s tough being a middle class white muscular young man who has the powers of a god and has blond busty women hanging around him all the time. God, Renny Harlin knows me so well, he knows the youth so well. “The Covenant” is one part “The Lost Boys,” one part “The Craft,” and two parts David DeCouteau with homoerotic undertones, overtones, mid-tones and all. The male cast gaze at one another with evident lust, and sexual tension, the male cast is featured nude in the lockers whipping one another while one mutters “Say my name!” You just have to wonder if DeCouteau had some hand in the creative process.
Sky High (2005)
I’m a sucker for a good tale about superheroes and the learning of their abilities and so on. I admit that. I love a good superhero tale, and that’s why I didn’t completely dislike “Sky High,” because beneath its Disney muck, it’s actually a pretty fun tale about living up to your parents and the pressures of it. Michael Angarano is Will, the only son of a suburban couple who happen to be the world’s strongest superheroes. Ahem—they met during a battle and fell in love, and now are a team. “The Incredibles,” you say? Well, yes, but I just plain enjoyed Kurt Russell as a somewhat demented working class father who encourages his son to take up the family business. “Sky High” is busy, it’s colorful, and it will keep its target audience watching with a smile.
Heroes
We all know what happens to episodic high concept television shows. Right “Threshold,” “Invasion,” “Jack & Bobby,” “Surface,” and “Push, Nevada”? And audiences aren’t essentially welcoming to shows with interesting concepts, and storylines, and brains. “Heroes” is one of those shows. It’s episodic, it’s high concept, potentially one-note, and hopefully will be greeted with high ratings. But the previous effort from NBC with a show featuring disconnected characters experiencing an occurrence, tanked, and “Heroes” can suffer the very same fate.
Lady in the Water (2006)
M. Night Shyamalan is nothing if not ambitious; I mean he creates films like a child seeking to spin his own stories in his own universe that could form a canon for aspiring filmmakers to launch from, and his vision gets in the way of his film and his fairy tale spins on its own while the film struggles to keep up. I enjoyed most of the fairy tale Shyamalan invents here involving a creature that can camouflage as grass, a mermaid, a giant eagle, and monkeys. If you’re wondering about his famous and infamous surprise ending, there isn’t one. There’s just one plot twist that’s interesting, and that’s all, so I won’t ruin much here. Continue reading
Soul Searcher (2005)
I am the grim reaper, I walk softly, carry a big scythe, and kick demonic ass from here to Narnia. And now you know the concept of “Soul Searcher”. I enjoyed this flick from the very beginning where our hero is driving a truck overnight and accidentally interrupts the grim reaper kicking a demons ass all over the street. The grim reaper is falling ill and needs a new apprentice to help him in stopping the forces of evil from opening the realm of Hades and letting in a horde of uglies, and the guy named Joe happens to be the man he’s looking for–and he’s taking no prisoners.
Silent Hill (2006)
Christophe Gans’ depiction of the “Silent Hill” video game is really above dreck like “Doom” and “Resident Evil”. It’s a very popular series of games that are basically just a woman looking for her daughter in the ghost infested abandoned town, as she battles demons and tries to decrypt a mystery. Instead of adhering to the game and letting its formulas trap it down, it instead attempts to break out. It sticks true to the source material and also delves deep into focusing on an actual story and deep characterization in spite of its failings. Though there’s yet to be an actual video game adaptation that’s been fantastic, “Silent Hill” works because it dares to challenge its conventions of the video game world.