Deep Throat (1972)

Doctor: Having a clitoris at the bottom of your throat is better than having no clitoris at all.
Linda: That’s easy for you to say! Imagine having your balls on your ears!
Doctor: Well… then I could hear myself cumming!

You know it, you love it, you pretend not to know what it is in front of certain company, it’s “Deep Throat,” a movie that’s become so utterly famous that it’s also helped to define the oral sex technique that’s like average fellatio, but amps it up a notch. I won’t sit here and explain the difference between regular blow jobs, and deep throating, because I know that you know what the actual difference is, no matter how much you deny it in the end. “Deep Throat,” much like “Debbie Does Dallas,” is one of the porn classics that really go beyond its genre. This is a film that’s become a staple of pop culture and really did shake everyone up to their boots for the simple fact that it was a huge hit. And for the fact that the success for the film was less about the film’s quality, and more on the gravitas it brought with it to seedy movie theaters. I mean what’s not to like about it? It’s only an hour long, features hardcore sex scenes, the late great Linda Lovelace, and has a title that pretty much describes the entire plot.

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Debbie Does Dallas (1978)

Let me tell you, its tough reviewing one of the most famous porn movies ever made. Hell, its tough reviewing porn, period. How do you review a porno movie? I can’t really speak on the acting, because hell, it’s a porn movie, there aren’t Oscar winning performances. And the production quality is abysmal. So, how do I go about this, I ask myself. But you’re probably asking why I’m reviewing a porno movie. Well, it’s just because this over-opinionated asshole wanted to throw his three cents in on this classic film. You’ve all heard about it. You know about it, so I thought I’d just give you the lowdown. The reason “Debbie Does Dallas” is such a bonafide classic is simply because it has everything men and women like in a porno. The sex scenes are staged fantasies, the cast is comprised of cheerleaders, and our main character is hot. “Debbie Does Dallas” has a huge history in the film medium. For proof on that, check out “Debbie Does Dallas Uncovered,” and you’ll see what I mean. The reason why “Debbie Does Dallas” was big was because of Bambi Woods. People attribute the success of this film to many things, but I pin it on Bambi Woods. Woods isn’t (or wasn’t, if she’s actually dead) a fox in the strictest sense.

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Maniac (1980)

Zq27gzC“Maniac” is a different kind of slasher film, one so incredibly vile and utterly wretched that you’ll be forced to decide if you enjoyed this or not. I experienced the same conflict of decision. Did I enjoy this or not? I’m not entirely sure, but a good part of me says “yes.” At a time when the Son of Sam was still fresh on everyone’s minds, “Maniac” is the closest depiction of a madman on the streets that we’ll ever get again. We don’t just watch this madman destroy folks, we learn about him, and we get into his mind.

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Grindhouse (2007)

grindhouse-2007Let’s face it fair readers, I was born in the wrong era. While I’m living in the time of cell phones and reality television, I should be living in the time of grind houses, and porno theaters. While I’m in a time of Kelly Clarkson, I should be in a time of Donna Summer. Simply put, I wish I was born during another time. But, you have to admit, Tarantino and Rodriguez got what they wanted. They wanted to create the grind house experience, and that’s exactly what I received. A double feature, scratchy film, and an empty theater. It’s me and my family, and about four other people, and no one got the joke. Continue reading

I Spit on Your Grave (Day of the Woman) (1978)

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Camille Keaton. What more is there to say about this woman? She’s so gorgeous, that I bet her feces smells like roses on freshly cut grass during the Spring. The statuesque and awfully beautiful Keaton is one of the highlights of the awfully gruesome “I Spit on Your Grave.” A film generally reviled, and yet so beloved among the great portion of movie lovers, this B revenge flick is a man hating saga before a slew of unofficial remakes stormed theaters in the 80’s. You have to appreciate a movie so reviled for doing what it set out to do, which is likely why many audiences are still offended by its cinematic offerings of a simplistic story of a woman being victimized and seeking vengeance, even to this day.

We sit there watching this woman be victimized almost endlessly, and after a while we want to seek pure revenge. That seems to be the general intent from director Zarchi. He draws out the pure horror for this character and brings the audience in at eye level. Hill is victimized and harassed, and chased, and raped, and raped, and raped some more. And it becomes utterly grueling to sit through. What did she do to deserve it? Nothing. She’s merely a victim of a series of senseless crimes, and she’s alone in this town. Why should you watch this? Curiosity, perhaps, experimentation, and experiencing what is, whether some like it or not, a cinematic zeitgeist of grind house filmmaking, and pure filmmaking in general. There’s simply nothing more to the plot than what can be described in two sentences.

An author vacationing at a local friend’s house to work on her book is attacked and raped by five men. Surviving, she appears two weeks later, and proceeds to kill them in a fit of bloody revenge. There’s simply nothing more to it. But what Marchi offers in this film is much more than dialogue or complexities can offer. It just visits a heinous and utterly senseless crime that seemed to almost be a sub-conscious word of warning to sexual freedom. This is a film that appeared subsequent to the feminist movement, and the free love era, and Hill seems to embody this attitude while being ravaged by the small town psychos who simply take that to their advantage.

Hill lies wide open, swims, and even lies on a boat in the river, and the group of men that watch and wait, make her pay for it. And many will say “She didn’t deserve this attack,” but Marchi seems to offer the notion that Hill may not have deserved it, but she sure was offering meat to the lions, whether she knew it or not. And she shows a woman’s wrath in ways that are still shocking. I mean, I guarantee you’ll re-consider getting into a hot bath with a woman after seeing what happens to the group leader Johnny. You really will. Women will cringe, men will cringe and instinctively cup their better half. Even decades later, the film still retains its shock factor and sheer gasp inducing imagery, and that’s an accomplishment. Keaton’s performance is rather fantastic and I stick to that notion.

Her rape is something that will be remembered for days on end, after viewing this. She screams, she suffers, and in one scene shambles home holding her arms up in sheer disgust at her violated, torn body. And once she seeks revenge, she hits the deep end and never comes back from it. “I Spit on You Grave” is not a film I’d normally enjoy: Man-hating cinema. But, it offers something that was genuine in its time, and it’s a classic that should be seen. In spite of the repetitiveness it gets caught in the halfway mark, “I Spit on Your Grave” is still an effective and shocking bit of revenge cinema with Camille Keaton burning herself into my brain as this gorgeous woman who becomes a stone cold punisher on the monsters who ravaged her.

In 1980 Roger Ebert described this as “A movie so sick, reprehensible and contemptible that I can hardly believe it’s playing in respectable theaters,” along with an obvious mortified declaration of: “There is no reason to see this movie except to be entertained by the sight of sadism and suffering.” It’s not surprising many folks consider this utter putrid, but “I Spit on Your Grave” should be looked on as a completely different sort of revenge film. It’s one that not only inspires such hatred from its heroine/victim Jennifer Hill, but it manages to inspire pure hatred from its audience. And it’s not surprising that many who defend it seem to suffer a harsh scrutiny, because I’ve found many seem to share Ebert’s thought process.

You can argue the film is sick, but you also have to admit it’s a very powerful rape and revenge thriller that set the standard and still compels, whether it’s through offending or mesmerizing its audience.

Frankenstein's Bloody Nightmare (2006)

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“Frankenstein’s Bloody Nightmare” basically has its head on tight with intentions of being both experimental and surreal, and in many respects, Director Hand knows how to convey both a nightmarish and surrealist theme with a hazy picture that drifts from plain and sterile to multi-colored and intense. Hand’s film has a very noticeable Lynchian feel as yet another take on the Doctor Frankenstein character. Hand’s film is a pure mixture of sixties psychedelic grind house exploring the sheer utter madness behind a man seeking to help his wife.

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Afro Promo: Black Cinema Trailers 1946-76 (DVD)

Afro Promo” is a textured and rich compendium of Black Cinema trailers that speaks more of the depictions of African Americans on film than any documentary can really try to. There are no real interviews here, just a collection of trailers involving black actors, or starring an all African American cast. And as you’d expect we see the progression from blacks with white lips and bulging eyes, to lecherous and despicable heathens, to blaxploitation films where they were more empowered and able to decide how they wanted to be seen (they settled on “Boss Nigger”?). And every now and then we see the great Sidney Poitier, and Richard Pryor, James Earl Jones, and Pam Grier respectively.

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