Tag Archives: Horror

Hack/Slash: My First Maniac #3 of 4

Posted on by

Well up until the third issue, “My First Maniac” was a decent prequel to the Hack/Slash run on the Image tag. While I miss Vlad, and every other supporting character, I’ve been giving Cassie Hack and her first adventure in to the slasher realm a fair chance and this third issue really hasn’t been doing it for me. Mostly where the issue should be mostly about being a slasher throwback it instead takes itself very seriously and doesn’t seem to be having any fun with the concept at all.

I’m still not sure if this is the same Cassie Hack from Devil’s Due, and I’m still trying to figure out the elements of this villain. Not only are the supporting characters so utterly boring and tedious to endure, but Cassie is also having the life sucked out of her by these vapid characters all of whom lack any form of empathy.

Continue reading →

Stan Helsing (2009)

Posted on by

stanhelsinglogoComedy… especially horror comedy, is almost impossible to pull off. As the Wayans brothers can attest to, there’s only so much material to be mined until you’re pretty much just tapping the same old cliches for an audience that has seen it a thousand times over since the eighties. If “Scary Movie” proved anything, it’s that horror spoofs are quickly forgotten and easily aged especially when fads in horror comes and go faster than style in America. By the time “Scary Movie” was released, the whole “Scream” phenomenon was tired thus the Wayans were already three steps behind. “Stan Helsing” is an attempt to combine all the classic tropes while also bringing an actual narrative to the audience. Oddly enough while it’s not a good film by any means, it’s also not the worst spoof ever put to film.

Continue reading →

Anticipating the Bang: Hitchcock – A Slice of Appreciation

Posted on by

One angry father wrote to the brilliant director, saying his daughter had not bathed since viewing a bathtub drowning in the 1954 French film “Les Diaboliques,” and now she was refusing to shower after seeing Janet Leigh’s character slashed to death in “Psycho.” Hitchcock responded, “Send her to the dry cleaners.” – The Secrets of “Psycho’s” Shower Scene, Salon.com

“Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.” – Alfred Hitchcock

My obsession with Hitchcock was not one that blossomed in a split second. As someone exposed to the art of filmmaking and movies as a whole from a very early age, it took much time and patience to come around to appreciating folks like Stanley Kubrick, David Lean, William Wyler and Alfred Hitchcock. As a person who grew up in front of the television watching slasher films and zombie movie, it required some effort to sit down in front of a television screen to soak in the nuances and undertones of “Psycho” that would soon become one of my favorite horror films of all time. As a horror movie it’s without a doubt a keen exploration in the unending madness and reign of terror of a man forever damaged by his mother during and after her death. But as a film it’s so intricately made and so diversely entertaining that it’s almost impossible not to enjoy it. As a piece of horror filmmaking, Hitchcock made a movie that’s the epitome of the convention breaking genre masterpiece.

Continue reading →

Eyes Beyond (2010)

Posted on by

30317For what it’s worth, Reininghaus is a very competent director with visual flourishes and grim depictions of torture that were both very unsettling and impossible to sit through. I found myself having to pause the film through most of the sequences as the cast just charges head first in to the horror that ensues with screaming and a vicious strangulation and raping. As for the cast, they’re very good with folks like Danielle Barker and Robert Nolan pulling in strong performances and convincing reactions to what should be a utterly horrifying little situation.

Continue reading →

Bikini Bloodbath Carwash (2008)

Posted on by

bikini_bloodbath_carwashMrs. Johnson: Nice erection, Todd.
Todd: Thanks. You too!

Sitting down to watch “Bikini Bloodbath Carwash” made me grin from ear to ear in only the first five minutes as it was clear the directing team of Jonathan Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour knew what they were doing. There’s no backstory, no complexity, no undertones, it’s just all out ridiculous horror fun, and I loved it. I always say that I don’t mind stupidity as long as there’s some substance behind it, and the sequel to “Bikini Bloodbath” starts out on all the right notes. Two girls we’ve never met get up from bed, dance around in their underwear, one of whom takes a while to put on her top, they dance and jiggle, the directors put up the title in a very creative manner and we see “Written and Directed by Who the Fuck Cares.” I mean… that’s great. It just is. That’s stupid, but it’s stupid as a fox.

Continue reading →

Pieces (Mil gritos tiene la noche) (1983): Two Disc Deluxe Edition (DVD)

Posted on by

512Jcus524L

“The most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a water bed.”

Armed with perhaps two of the funniest, most demented, and rapid fire twists in possibly all of film history, “Pieces” is one of the most insane horror films I’ve ever seen, a movie so rife with cheese and over the top splatter that it’s just impossible not to enjoy. I found myself disgusted, and cringing all the while laughing at the top of my lungs at scenes so poorly orchestrated that it’s just so easy to sit and watch without being bored. It’s impossible to pick a starting point in this review because I’m currently comprehending what the hell I’d just seen before my eyes.

Continue reading →

Spring Break Massacre (2008)

Posted on by

SBM031110I’m not sure what the point of watching a horror movie is if we know everyone dies beforehand. Writers Hoffman and Jones take the unfortunate road of meeting us at the end with Reggie Bannister’s sheriff protagonist at the crime scene of said Spring Break Massacre explaining how every character dies. Meanwhile the story is told in completely disjointed formats and confusing shots that really left me in the dust. Why is this so high concept if it purports to be a slasher throwback? Why exactly is it called Spring Break Massacre if the majority of the story occurs during a slumber party?

Continue reading →