The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2004)

lost-skeletonRanger Brad: We take our horrible mutilations seriously around these parts.

What “Cadavra” has above the rest of the lot for spoofing old B movies, is it just screams for the dudes at “Mystery Science Theater” to spoof it. “Cadavra” is essentially a B movie spoofing B movies from the fifties and many times it really manages to pull off the gags. The director has obviously done his research to a great extent with much of the flaws, plot holes, and immense lack of continuity provided with schlock sci-fi films even going down to the horrible props including cheesy alien costumes, a spaceship that looks like cardboard, and often times the props re-appear in another scene ala Ed Wood; and there are many scenes that just mimic those of the fifties including animal stock footage used for the actual film, which was a common practice then.

Continue reading

The Man with the Screaming Brain (2005)

Bruce Campbell attempts yet again to make another movie with his deal of difficulties, and finally had it released. Granted it was released on the “Sci-Fi” Channel, but it still ends up being a pretty entertaining throwback to the fifties with a mix of schlock for much effect to what the topic of the film entails, because–seriously–comedy or drama, would you watch this film with a straight face? This is science fiction comedy, or comedy with a science fiction twist? Because the screenplay never seems to know.

Continue reading

Cube Zero (2004)

cubezeroJust so we know where we stand, I disliked Cube, and hated Cube 2: Hypercube, both films that made the basic horror/science fiction fan cream their pants. Though the concepts were original, the writers and creators did very little with it and thus we were given much repetition in both. One is about a bunch of people in a cube maze with death traps, Cube 2 was just basically a lot more of the same thing, and it seems to me the creators figured out that they needed to change it or else continue repeating the same old stuff, so they created this prequel/semi-sequel called “Cube Zero”.

Continue reading

Cursed (2005)

cursed05

This is “Scream” werewolf style, with red herrings, a hip cast, endless pop culture references, jump scares and a leading lady who can actually act being forced in to a situation. She even has a spazoid sidekick. Plus there’s that “Scream” style ending with everyone running back and forth and the “Maybe it’s him, maybe it’s her, but no it’s this person!” gimmick. But more characteristically, “Cursed” is a jumbled mess filled with moments that will surely have you repeatedly declaring “That would have been a great sequence”, and I was doing the same thing. Werewolves in the mirror room? Would have been great. Changing in to a werewolf in a public bathroom? Would have been great. Silencing barking neighborhood dogs with a howl? Could have been great. But alas, none of it really is.

Continue reading

Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)

It’s hard to take a film like this seriously; as a matter of fact calling this a film is very funny in its assumption, but regardless, taking this seriously is a real stretch and requires somewhat of a straight face. My suggestion is to completely shut off any expectations, logic, and common sense and try to make it through the ninety minute crap fest, now there’s an endurance challenge. Be warned though, this is not a sequel in spite of its title; it seeks only to shamelessly market off of the name of Romero’s masterpiece, and it bears no connection other than the title alludes to. While Romero’s film was a brilliant dissection of military corruption and paranoia, this crap fest is just an endurance test of sheer taste and torment.

Continue reading

Dead End (2003)

DEAD-END-003The whole film goes about itself in a rather coy manner from beginning to end. The writers of this have this constant attitude to the audience telling us “Oh, we’re going somewhere with this! You just watch the magic happen!” But the problem is, there’s no magic and the film goes nowhere and beyond. “Dead End” is a title that has never been so proper of its story, before, because the film is a dead end from the very beginning. The entire film thinks its so clever leading us along these ridiculous sequences all for a “surprise” ending that is so utterly predictable, derivative, and yawn inducing, so the writers take us nowhere and bring us to this zero pay off moment all for the sake of camp.

Continue reading

My Little Eye (2002)

mylittleeye

While the whole people on a reality show having the tables turned concept is recycled by now, “My Little Eye” has managed to master such a concept with a brilliant horror thriller that is just undeniably engrossing from start to finish. From the opening credits, we can already see the director playing games with the audience by filming the entire scroll of the Universal logo and the entire film in general in digital form resembling a web cast. We never once, throughout the entire movie, see a shot filmed with an actual movie camera, yet instead look only through the eyes of the cameras watching this group of people. Essentially, “My Little Eye” borders on the routine; different people brought together, they clash, there are your bumps and creaks, but eventually, as the movie goes on, it becomes increasingly intelligent in its searing undertones and social commentary.

Continue reading