Tag Archives: Horror

Masters of Horror: Jenifer

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The story of Jenifer is the tale of the ultimate jealous girlfriend, who is a subservient, but very jealous person who claims her mates and then clings on to them serving what she feels they desire. To the monster Jenifer, she sees eating humans as eliminating rivals and basically giving her mate her own gifts. The story not only confronts the whole aspect of this grotesque girl, but examines the lolita-esque attraction with this man who–in spite of her face–still possesses a sexual obsession with her. As per Argento’s style, the tension is ripe from the very beginning, as the mystery Argento usually works on mounts. And there’s a great amount of gore that Nicotero works on including some genitalia munching (literally), and gorging on innards that never cuts away. So–this is all they gave Dario Argento to work with, eh?

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Saw II (2005)

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I liked “Saw” a lot. In spite of plot holes, lapses in logic, and a horrible sub-plot/performance by Danny Glover, I thought “Saw” was a very nihilistic simple thriller that really ended up being one of the best horror thrillers I’ve seen in years. Either way, when talks of “Saw 2” arose, I was optimistic if not a little annoyed. Sequels are rarely ever as good as the original, but with “Saw 2” I was pleasantly surprised and shocked, and a little nauseated. “Saw 2” takes its formula and amps it up to about eleven with a film that ends up becoming an eloquent study in madness and sadism, and explores the true lengths in which man will go to stay alive. What would you do to stay alive?

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House of Wax (2005)

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House-Of-Wax

I found myself occasionally chuckling during the film, and the reason was because I could almost practically hear the one-minded logic that would surface when its target audience attempted to explain its endearment for this basically forgettable remake. The typical target audience will ultimately like this better than any of the other versions because: “Oh my god, Chad Michael Murray is like so totally hot”, or “Damn, Elisha Cuthbert is so totally hot and awesome”. Either way, are you at all surprised that I didn’t like this remake very much? I wanted to be surprised by this, but in the end I wasn’t, and I was given exactly what I expected: yet another WB star laden remake that was more concerned with touting stars of hit shows than actually casting real actors. Get with the program people! These are vehicles, not movies, these are promotional tools, not films, these are publicity programs, not a horror movie! These are fillers for resumes, not roles!

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War of the Worlds (2005)

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WOTWSpielberg has always shy away from making films involving aliens that were actually aggressive. His was a role to make the aliens more human friendly, and kind, so it was quite a surprise when he signed on to direct this remake which featured prominently aggressive aliens exterminating the human race. As much I truly wanted to hate this remake–and I really did–I couldn’t deny that this was one hell of a film, that only Spielberg could have mustered up. It’s another remake, sure, but I actually managed to like it a lot.

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Frankenstein vs. the Creature from Blood Cove (2005)

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What I always enjoy is the schlock brought upon us by new directors that take it upon themselves to carve their own pastiche with films that both spoof yet pay respect to the films of old that audiences are no longer interested in. What William Winckler does or tries his hardest in doing is both spoofing the classic horror film while paying his own homage telling this story that is both simple but entertaining. “Blood Cove” is often cheesy and goofy, but that’s the intent, its low tech in many respects with the creature’s monster suit and the Frankenstein make-up.

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Masters of Horror: Dreams in the Witch House

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Perhaps I set myself up for this, perhaps the first episode just had me on this orgasmic euphoric high only set to be lowered by anything. Director Stuart Gordon of “Re-Animator” takes center stage this time in the second episode of the series with an entertaining albeit disappointing installment based on HP Lovecraft’s story of the same name. I’ve never read a story from Lovecraft, but I know he’s an immense influence for many horror masters that borrow the elements from his story for their own. Gordon manages to create a very entertaining installment for Masters of Horror that’s sometimes surreal, many times whimsical and all times filled with dread.

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Alien 51 (2004)

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alien-51-vhs-front2[In reference to our main character Cleo]
Randy: Does she seem a little off to you?
Officer: She’s hot, Randy. She can be as off as she wants.

It’s a pretty safe bet that “Alien 51” is quite possibly one of the worst science fiction monster movies I’ve ever seen. I challenge you to find something else so creatively impotent, so utterly derivative, and so nonsensical as the movie I spent ninety minutes drudging and fast-forwarding through. Nothing in this film makes the slightest lick of sense, and it’s clear that either the script was horribly done, or the directors lost so much money, they literally spent the second half simply winging it, coming up with a remaining plot that is so stupid. You know a movie is desperate when it’s biggest star is Heidi Fleiss, you know a movie is desperate when it boasts “Starring Heidi Fleiss”, and you know a movie is desperate when its big attempted draw-in was a has been model who appears as a mustache twirling villainess.

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