Tag Archives: Musical

Howling: New Moon Rising (1995)

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Asking anyone to watch “The Howling: New Moon Rising” should be punishable by jail time and some kind of psychological examination. “New Moon Rising” is so bad it’s inhuman. It’s so bad it makes the former “The Howling” entries seem watchable in comparison. There is no reason why “New Moon Rising” should exist. Near as I can figure, someone took a tourist board video for a small Western town, injected imagery depicting a view through the eyes of a werewolf stalking animals, spliced in footage from the past “The Howling” movies and called it a day.

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Labyrinth (1986)

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Director Jim Henson’s “Labyrinth” is one of the many epic fantasy films of the eighties indirectly influenced by George Lucas’ “Star Wars,” and while it never aspires to be anything more than a standalone tale, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t possess epic potential from beginning to end. Director Henson unfolds a very unique and entertaining tale of a young girl who learns how to grow as a person through a menacing adventure through a massive labyrinth. Much in the realm of “Alice in Wonderland,” or “Wizard of Oz,” young Sarah finds herself confronting many monsters and menaces, and becomes a hero in the end.

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Vampire on Bikini Beach (1988)

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Michael Headley: Dude this will be our big break!
Todd Kaufman: How do you figure?
Michael: Everyone loves vampire movies right now, so we could make our own!
Todd: Genius, dude!
Michael: But while the audience is watching the horror movie, we can perform some songs during the movie.
Todd: Geniuser, dude!
Michael: I mean they have to watch us perform, what else are they going to do? Press the forward button?

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The Little Mermaid (1989)

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Though it’s often thought of as the film that helped revive the animated film boom from Disney in the nineties, predating a string of hit films from the studio, “The Little Mermaid” is much like “Bambi.” It has amazing animation, and a wonderful soundtrack, but in the narrative frame, it’s unspectacular. While the former film garnered a nearly non-existent storyline with a simple resolution stretched in to ninety minutes, “The Little Mermaid” has almost nothing in the way of reasoning or logic for its heroine’s motives toward happiness.

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The Moleman of Belmont Avenue (2013)

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molemanI can appreciate what the director of “The Moleman…” is going for, but with his indie horror comedy, it often felt like a misfire in every sense. The DVD cover is quick to compare this to “Shaun of the Dead,” but while they were losers, they were at least likable. It’s really tough to empathize or root for two main characters who lure an old man to dinner to have him be eaten by the mole man, or are so stupid they leave a box of kittens in the trunk of their car and accidentally suffocate them all. I should be rooting for them, the script says, but in reality I just found them to be complete morons.

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Teen Beach Movie (2013)

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Deep down, “Teen Beach Movie” feels like a loving and affectionate tribute to Ex-Mouseketeer, the late great Annette Funicello (to which the film is dedicated to). The gorgeous and talented actress spent her early years on the Mickey Mouse Club winning over the hearts of young boys, and then moved in to some of the most pulpy and celebrated surf movies. Those movies like “Beach Blanket Bingo,” and “Muscle Beach Party” featured a lot of music, simple plots, and were a celebration of surfing. With Frankie Avalon, Funicello gained immortality. What’s even more surprising is in many respects, Maia Mitchell resembles Annette Funicello. When she begins puffing her hair with her pigtails, and transforming in to the movie, she’s almost a living embodiment of the lovely young Funicello. The movie was being filmed before Funicello passed away, so perhaps it’s just all one big coincidence. Or perhaps it’s just serendipity.

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Evil Dead: The Musical (2003)

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Well if anything, “Evil Dead: The Musical” is creative. It’s not as funny as it thinks it is, but it has a good time with the material Sam Raimi laid down. It’s kind of odd a musical that features the main character cutting off his hand shies away from the tree rape so blatantly. Not that I am anxious to see a woman violated by tree limbs, but I was wondering why they drew the line at some things and not other.

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