I still don’t quite understand the appeal of Seduction Cinema. Hell, even I find the movies they release to be entertaining and appealing. The women are hot, sure, but this is the age of the internet where pictures and videos of hot women are at your finger tips in seconds. And surely there are more hardcore films out there with hotter women. Surely, it can’t be the sex scenes since all of the sequences involve light kissing and mild petting. Watching a movie from Seduction Cinema is akin to getting your crotch rubbed over thick pants.
Tag Archives: Porn
Bikini Chain Gang (2005)
I don’t know what’s weirder, the fact that movie is a satire of women in prison movies or that I recognized that 90 percent of the cast for “Bikini Chain Gang” are porn stars. But then Fred Olen Ray’s comedy about women in prison is really just a mid-level porno that’s about ninety minutes. Well–fifty, when you cut out the monotonous sex scenes that injected mid-story. Basically, the story is so utterly simple it’s as if Fred Olen Ray wrote the premise down on a cocktail napkin in between bouts of Scotch and sniffing coke off of Asian strippers’ backs.
Horno (2009)
Director Terrence Williams shows real promise on occasion, especially with films like “The Hood Has Eyez,” and with his newest film entitled “Horno,” he has an interesting concept but one that doesn’t pan out to an interesting movie. I wish I could have loved the shameless disgusting tripe that was doled out as something Troma angled, but in the end it’s just a good concept with a pretty faulty delivery. Williams has the right idea by inventing a concept within a concept, almost like a meta-movie, but the fact remains that hornos are a relatively established concept. Joe D’Amato infamously did it with films like “Sexy Erotic Nights of the Living Dead.”
Vintage Erotica Anno 1960 (DVD)
With the release of “Vintage Erotica Anno 1960,” Cult Epics unleashes twelve underground 16mm short porn films that not only show the free wheeling fun loving of the early sixties but the evolution of the porno film before our very eyes. As the smut and taboo material of threesomes and orgies became ever more frequent in the underground smut circuit, we saw the beginnings of the classic porn formula where it was less about voyeurism and teasing the audience as it was about rough hardcore sex.
2069: A Sex Odyssey [Ach jodel mir noch einen – Stosstrupp Venus bläst zum Angriff] (1974)
There is a planet of hot women out there. They want sperm. And they’re coming to Earth for some men who have sperm. Unfortunately where they’re from men are rare, and their race may wither and die without man seed. There’s your plot for “2069” a sex comedy that’s about as stupid but arousing as all of the other porn parodies of the sixties and seventies. True, I refer to it as a porn parody primarily because of its title, but in reality it’s not even a slight spoof on Kubrick’s classic film. It merely borrows the title for the excuse to implement the 69 and is a pretty tame softcore porn and sex comedy that sets down on a group of alien women who happen down on Earth to abduct and sex up a bunch of hapless men to revive their society. What confounds me is how was their planet originally able to reproduce without men around? And are these women hoarding sperm for their planet or are they hoping to become pregnant on their own?
Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet (2005)
I have a thing for Misty Mundae. She has a cute perky little body and a ghetto booty you can just sleep in for days. She has a gorgeous face that doesn’t require too much make-up and she can pull off ridiculous comedy. And if you saw her in “Masters of Horror,” she’s not a bad actress. But most of her career has been spent making some of the worst movies of all time, the lowest common denominator entertainment titles involving zombies, and monsters, all of which are so bottom of the barrel, they’re practically non-existent. “Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet” is one of those awful movies. Clocking in at barely an hour, this horrible softcore porn is basically an excuse to show display mild girl on girl.
The Human Sexipede (First Sequence: A Porn Parody) (2010)
If the pretentious shit drizzle torture porn of 2010 entitled “The Human Centipede” entertained you, or if it just made you roll your eyes at the bloated hype, then “The Human Sexipede” may just be right up your alley. “The Human Sexipede” works more as a spoof of the Tom Six film than it does a hardcore porn, and right from the get go its intent is to make us laugh. I found myself giggling through most of the parody, especially with Sunny Lane and Amber Rayne delivering dialogue that’s nothing but clunky foreshadowing. The basic premise of this version is that both American tourists are incapable of achieving sexual satisfaction. After a quick girl on girl romp involving anal probing with vibrators, and 69ing, the girls find the evil Dr. Heiter online through a personal ad where Heiter insists he likes to party.