Superman Returns (2006)

Superman_ReturnsCountdown to “Man of Steel”!

I’m still not too sure what Warner was expecting with “Superman Returns.” I mean it made just as much as “Batman Begins” in its theatrical run, and director Bryan Singer does the best to connect this reboot to the successful Richard Donner films, so what is it that makes this film the bane of the Superman movie verse? Very few people understand Superman, nor do they really understand why he’s such an amazing character. I’ve experienced no end of people complaining that “Superman Returns” didn’t feature Superman punching things and fighting bad guys. In reality, that’s been the downfall of the character.

He’s become the lug head of the DC Universe. He’s become the bouncer in the club who punches people and never thinks ahead of time. Director Bryan Singer understood that Superman faced an immense dilemma and above all else, “Superman Returns” is Superman’s battle to become relevant again. Superman is not only about fighting intergalactic bad guys, and punching buildings. Superman, above all else, cherishes life. He is tasked with preserving it thanks to the amazing abilities he possesses in his genetic code. He could very well dominate the world if he wanted to, but he instead uses his super breath to snuff out a fire, and implores his laser beam eyes to blast away shards of glass that threaten to kill innocent bystanders on the ground below him.

Superman is a guardian angel first, and a fighter second. If the film has its fault, it’s that director Bryan Singer paints too much from the Palette of Richard Donner. He wants his film to be a Richard Donner entry, thus he takes the opportunity to recall many of the famous lines and scenes from Donner’s films. The film also is much too long in the tooth, with a heavy emphasis on Parker Posey’s character for some inexplicable reason. But like every comic book movie ever made, you have to forgive some elements, and enjoy the ride as a whole. “Superman Returns” is not so much an adventure, as it is a character’s journey back in to the world. Superman took his very first journey of selfishness, seeking his home world and looking for perhaps a family he always dreamed of having.

He never realized he belonged on Earth the whole time. Now that he’s returned, he realizes that Earth not only moved on without him, but that they no longer need a Superman. It’s the classic adage “You can’t go home again.” Ma Kent is dating a new man, Jimmy Olsen is a bolder photographer, Lex Luthor is still a slimy worm trying to build a new empire for himself, and Lois Lane has moved on more than Clark can comprehend. She is now dating the nephew of Perry White, and has a son. To make matters worse, Richard White (as played by James Marsden) isn’t just a good man, but he’s a noble one. He treats Lois with patience and love, he’s become the surrogate father to Lois’ son, and he is a kind individual. If given powers, he’d be his own Superman. He even has his own means of flight, as an aspiring pilot.

So Superman (as well as the writers) have to tip toe and figure out if Lois really even wants Superman anymore. Superman not only has to battle Lex Luthor once again, but he has to earn his way in to the minds and hearts of Metropolis once again. In doing so, he shows that there’s always a need for a protector, even if they’re not always a necessity. Brandon Routh does a fantastic job as Clark Kent and Superman, giving way to the social awkwardness, and alienation that Clark is accustomed to. Routh has the look and dashing bravado of Superman, and really grasps the role with his charisma and charm. Kate Bosworth is also a fine Lois Lane with a soft beauty and grace that makes her this bolder mother figure, while James Marsden’s portrayal of Richard White is dignified and likable.

We want Superman to win Lois back, but we also don’t want Richard to walk away a loser. Kevin Spacey also has a blast in the role of Luthor, giving him a demented bent that makes him menacing and deadly. “Superman Returns” plants the seeds for a future storyline when we slowly realize who Lois’ son’s father is, and allowed to continue further, I think Singer could have developed a fine narrative. It’s a shame that “Superman Returns” is given the brunt of the blame for stalling of the Superman movie-verse because, in spite of its flaws, it’s a wonderful and beautiful look at Superman’s re-emergence in to a darker world in need of hope.

Shaft (2000)

Director John Singleton’s “Shaft” is something of a remake, but also a reboot for modern audiences. Fans of the seventies crime thriller with Richard Roundtree will recognize the name of Shaft, while modern audiences can enjoy the pure machismo of Samuel L. Jackson in an iconic role. Why it never became a full fledged movie series is not at all surprising. “Shaft” takes on all the beats of the action genre, with a lovable hero, brutal villains, interesting sidekicks, and enough action to satisfy easily bored audiences. The problem is, once “Shaft” is done, there simply is nowhere left to go with this character.

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Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection (2013)

Every three to four years, a new indie filmmaker thinks they can rise up and give a new flavor or angle to “Night of the Living Dead” and provide audiences with a new look at Romero’s classic horror film. “Night of the Living Dead” remakes are cyclical and the last time we had a remotely fresh take on the film was in 1990, and that’s due to the fact that Tom Savini had help from friend George Romero. Every other rehash since has been piss poor, embarrassing, and just damn unnecessary. How many times can we keep watching the same old story? How many new perspectives can you add? It’s impossible to make the 1968 film feel new and original when the first film mastered it, in the first place. “Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection” only has the illusion of presenting itself as a new version of the Romero tale because the entire rehash is now set in the UK. See? It’s not the same old indie filmmakers trying to upstage Romero, it’s new! In truth thiscan’t stand on two legs since it’s anything but a remake.

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My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

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No one is more exhausted with the torrent of needless remakes than I am, but I was shocked that Patrick Lussier’s treatment of the modern “My Bloody Valentine” is not only clever, but very entertaining. I was never a big fan of the eighties slasher classic, so it was a welcome treat to see Lussier treat the concept with respect, and add his own twist to it. “My Bloody Valentine” acts more as a tribute to the original film with a continuation of the storyline rather than actually try to re-capture the dark comedy of the original. This time around, “My Bloody Valentine” revolves the latter day town of Harmony that lives by the legend of Harry Warden, the psychotic pick axe killer who mutilated many during Valentine’s Day.

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Flash Gordon: The Complete Series (DVD)

Man, what the hell happened?

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. The Syfy Channel or The Sci Fi Channel has had a good track record for television series that excelled in epic space adventures with hit shows like “Stargate” and “Farscape.” Plus, they engineered one of the most critically acclaimed award winning reboots of all time, “BSG: Battlestar Galactica” which ended up being an important touchstone for science fiction in the twenty first century.

So what in the heck happened with “Flash Gordon”? Syfy and their executives not only seem to miss the point with these characters of the pulp era, but completely seek out to alter their personas rather than re-invent them.

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Godzilla (1998)

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You have to hand it to Roland Emmerich, his marketing for 1998’s “Godzilla” was fantastic. Before “Cloverfield” enforced not showing the monster until you had your butt planted in seats in theaters, Emmerich and Tristar applied the same marketing with just as much mystery. I fondly recall many of the early trailers for “Godzilla” being packed with questions about what the beast looked like rebooted. Hell, in 1997, I bought the movie book that explored the making of “Godzilla,” and there wasn’t a single picture in the book that gave a clear picture of the new Godzilla.

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Silent Night (2012)

“Don’t put avocado on the burger!”

You just can’t take a movie like “Silent Night” all that seriously. It’s twisted, demented, and weird, and features a small town with a perverted priest, and a slew of gorgeous women sauntering about like it’s just another day. Jaime King is the sheriff, Ellen Wong is her secretary, single moms are attractive, and the slashing Santa spends most of his time murdering good looking women in the most sadistic ways imaginable. It’s a splatter film and an exploitation film first and foremost, so if you’re expecting high art with complex themes about Christmas, you should look elsewhere. Director Steven C. Miller knows exactly what kind of film he’s directing, and he never holds back from delivering the gore and the torture in all of the most convenient forms possible.

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