Because he’s fat! That’s the punch line for pretty much every joke in “Paul Blart 2.” In fact that’s been the punch line for most of Kevin James’ bland career. He’s fat. That’s why it’s funny when he falls down. He lies in bed eating a bottomless bowl of M&M’s. Because he’s fat. Get it? He flips over whenever he falls because he’s so fat. Get it? And he’s loud, too. I can’t believe anyone wanted a sequel to “Paul Blart,” but the first movie was a hit, so I assume a sequel was only logical.
So this is it? This is the officially sanctioned sequel to the “Terminator” series? The sequel that says “Remember the first two movies you just saw? Well they don’t matter anymore. You wasted your time”? Because that’s what “Genysis” does. It wastes the audience’s time by creating an alternate alternate alternate timeline that doesn’t just erase the first two movies of the series, but completely muddles up the timeline even more than ever. I’m usually very good with timelines and can figure out convoluted storytelling most times, but “Genysis” gets so lost in a haze of over explanation and contradicting storylines that I just eventually gave up trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
I’m still not sure I enjoyed the way the movie just took us in to a time bending twist in the finale of “Teen Beach 2.” Surely it’s more female driven and based around empowerment by reversing the previous roles, but other than that it brings about more questions than answers, and left me completely baffled. By the way the internet has sparked since the premiere of “Teen Beach 2” I’m not alone in the judgment of how the movie just completely takes us in to a completely new direction. If Mack and Brady’s relationship depended on “Wet Side Story” why didn’t anyone else’s relationships remold?
Is it possible McFarlane must have handed the reins over to someone competent? Is it entirely possible McFarlane had someone with comic knowledge to guide him in to what it a superior sequel to an abysmal first film? “Ted 2” is surprisingly good. Much better than the first, and I say that as someone who genuinely dislikes McFarlane’s cheap excuse for comedy. Sure, “Ted 2” is still very much a McFarlane film with his personal stamps all over it, but it also manages a competent story and interesting characters. Hell I even cared about Ted this time around. I had rock bottom expectations for “Ted 2,” especially considering I loathe almost everything Seth McFarlane puts his hands on.
As a Disney-phile, I have to admit that “Teen Beach Movie” was a great DCOM. It was also one of my favorite movies of 2013. It was fun, light, and had some genuinely great music. So it’s a shame to admit that “Teen Beach 2” is kind of a let down. Judged on its own merits it misses the point of its predecessor and rides off the rails in to its own new narrative. Not to mention it can be painfully convoluted, which doesn’t help when the original film was so simple. It’s been two months since the original movie, and Mack and Brady are going to school together. After enjoying the rest of the summer, they’re prepared for college but realize they’re on different wave lengths.
By all accounts, “Fury Road” should not have been so good. The George Miller epic return to “Mad Max” is a film that snuck under the radar of many movie fans and comes in through the dusk to grab us by the throats once more. When it comes to post apocalyptic cinema, Mad Max is the crème de la crème of the sub-genre, and George Miller is bold enough to re-visit a universe that paved its way through cinema over thirty years ago. With “Fury Road,” George Miller doesn’t try to change the formula of his trilogy too much, opting for the same visceral post apocalyptic action epic that made Mel Gibson Mad Max. Yet he also strives for a visual stimulation that ushers in a new era that puts Tom Hardy in the seat of Mad Max.
“Jurassic World” is the “Gremlins 2” of the “Jurassic Park” franchise. It’s filled with call backs to the original film, and garners a tongue in cheek attitude about itself, while commenting on the ills and woes of consumerism, the media, and theme park spectacles. And the very spectacle that became of “Jurassic Park.” There’s one instance where the technicians groan at Verizon sponsoring an animal exhibit, and there’s constant talk about how consumers always want bigger, better, and toothier. And that’s what “Jurassic World” is. It’s bigger, toothier, yet not exactly better.