I’ve never liked “Jaws: The Revenge.” Even as a kid who would watch anything that was on TV, I would often doze off during “The Revenge.” And that’s saying a lot since the movie technically has killer sharks in it. I’m glad I’m not in the minority as “The Revenge” has ranked up there with embarrassing sequels like “Staying Alive” and “The Exorcist II” and for good reason. “The Revenge” is a further slap in the face of the 1975 film, first killing off one of Brody’s children to a—ahem—vengeful shark. And then we later come to learn that Martin Brody has also died off screen from a massive heart attack. So that’s it? Brody gets a cheap off screen death, and the shark gets a very goofy movie serial revenge arc. Got it.
Tag Archives: Survival
Jaws 3D (1983)
With all that we now know about marine parks, Joe Alves’ “Jaws 3” isn’t just a terrible film, but it’s also one filled with awful undertones. The cast of “rah rah America actors with white teeth spend the majority of the mostly dull “Jaws 3D” obliviously trying to turn the newest discovery of a massive great white in to a new attraction. Meanwhile the writers and producer seem to turn “Jaws 3D” in to an almost pitch video for the Jaws ride in Universal. After “Black Fish” in 2013 we learned so much the heinous treatment of these poor animals, and how there are aren’t any real winners or losers.
There is just a mangled shark, imprisoned dolphins, and loyal scuba expert Matthew.
Jaws 2 (1978)
You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. That’s the sad fate for Sheriff Brody who, years after the events of “Jaws,” is now seen as the crackpot of Amity Island. Despite the fact that the mayor admitted defeat in the end of “Jaws,” and in spite of academic backing, and a very experienced shark hunter dying at the teeth of the beast, Amity Island has a streak of memory loss prompting a lot of people to forget what Sheriff Brody accomplished at the end of the original movie.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
“A Quiet Place” has managed to balloon in to its own respectable horror/scifi series but through it all has remained an apocalyptic tale about people. Just when you thought you’d seen all apocalyptic scenarios, Krasinski and co have explored a reality where Earth is destroyed by super powerful monsters known as “Death Angels.” They hunt by sound and are merciless when pursuing victims. In spite of running the risk of tiring this premise, “Day One” finds a way to explore a new angle of this alien invasion. Here, director Michael Sarnoski likens the invasion of the “Death Angels” as a horrible catastrophe where in survival relies on isolation and alienation and not unity.
Arena Wars (2024)
Available on VOD June 25th from Gravitas Ventures.
While Edgar Wright and Glen Powell are currently in the process of crafting their remake of “Running Man,” Brandon Slagle jumps to the front of the line to get his hits in first. “Arena Wars” looks great and has a classic idea from the Stephen King novel. In fact, it’s pretty much just a small budget remake of the classic film with convicts, and a game show and psychos, etc. The problem with “Arena Wars” is that is it pretty much a ton of filler with only some semblance of narrative in sparse moments. If “Arena Wars” were a bag of chips it’d only have a small hand full of chips and a ton of smelly air puffing it up.
You Have to See This! No Contest (1995)
Now Streaming on: Amazon Prime Video, The Roku Channel
The nineties were an interesting time for action movies. You had your A tier action flicks hitting the box office, and then you had your C and D tier on home video filling shelves. Among them there was “No Contest.” If you were a premium cable subscriber in the nineties, you probably know what “No Contest” is. This movie fulfilled two big purposes in that it gave the studio their very own “Die Hard” wannabe, and it pushed their star Shannon Tweed to the forefront in her long effort to become a mainstream movie star.
Shannon Tweed was a gorgeous and sexy woman and former Playboy model in the eighties who got in to feature films in the nineties and worked hard to become a big screen actress.
Slay (2024)
Now Streaming Exclusively on Tubi.
If you’ve seen the trailer or read about “Slay,” then yes, it is exactly the movie that you think it is. If you took “Priscilla Queen of the Dessert” and mixed it with “From Dusk Til Dawn” then you have what is essentially “Slay.” No more, no less. The thing about “Slay” though is that it is a siege horror comedy with vampires and drag queens it at least takes time to make up some of its own rules for vampire. This is a creative move despite the fact it’s also a trick use to cover up the movie’s obviously low budget. And I can’t complain, because the movie makes lemonade out of lemons.