I think in the end audiences will find the finale of “F” to be rather infuriating for the simple fact that while director Johannes Roberts doesn’t create a very conventional horror film, he also doesn’t opt for a conventional final scene. And viewers awaiting a huge showdown or some sense of comprehension to the extreme events that have occurred throughout the running time of “F,” many will find that it just doesn’t come to a close as many will be expecting. We live in a world where movies explain everything and anything they can. “F” chooses to leave most of its premise a mystery and keeps the motives of its almost supernatural legion of villains a mystery even after the credits have finished rolling.
Tag Archives: Thriller
The Human Sexipede (First Sequence: A Porn Parody) (2010)
If the pretentious shit drizzle torture porn of 2010 entitled “The Human Centipede” entertained you, or if it just made you roll your eyes at the bloated hype, then “The Human Sexipede” may just be right up your alley. “The Human Sexipede” works more as a spoof of the Tom Six film than it does a hardcore porn, and right from the get go its intent is to make us laugh. I found myself giggling through most of the parody, especially with Sunny Lane and Amber Rayne delivering dialogue that’s nothing but clunky foreshadowing. The basic premise of this version is that both American tourists are incapable of achieving sexual satisfaction. After a quick girl on girl romp involving anal probing with vibrators, and 69ing, the girls find the evil Dr. Heiter online through a personal ad where Heiter insists he likes to party.
Bitter Feast (2010) (DVD)
It’s not uncommon for artists of any kind to go off the rails or be driven mad by critics. Vincent Gallo is famous for lashing out at Roger Ebert for his bashing of “Brown Bunny,” producers like Avi Arad and studios are known for bashing critics that bash their work, and in 2010, Kevin Smith just sank in to the deep end after the critical destruction of “Cop Out.” But while “Bitter Feast” is a commentary on pushing people too far, it’s also a look at what happens when two bitter absolutely pretentious men meet and decide they’re going to make each other suffer for their lives’ miseries. While many will be quick to deem this as a satire of the critical world, director Joe Maggio actually spoofs both sides of the field, the artist and the critic. Or in this film, the pompous pretentious artist who takes his work much too seriously, and the critic who refuses to be honest and or kind and just wants to purposely play a heel for the sake of publicity and readership.
You Have to See This! Leon: The Professional (1994)
Leon is a hit man, the best hit man working for Tony. He kills without a sound, without any emotion, he has only one rule “no woman, no child”, he’s the perfect hit man. Leon lives in the same building as Mathilda and her dysfunctional family. Mathilda’s father is a drug-dealer who does not care much, her stepmom does not seem to like her much, and her big sister seems to hate her. Mathilda’s sole solace is her younger brother, whom she loves very dearly. Comes in New York City’s crooked DEA, Norman Stansfield, who hired Mathilda’s father as a drug dealer. After the drugs are found to have been cut, Stansfield demands an answer as to how this has happened by 12 noon the next day.
There's Nothing Out There (Two-Disc 20th Anniversary Edition) (1990) (DVD)
From Troma comes the twentieth anniversary release of “There’s Nothing Out There!” a film I’d admittedly never heard of and was most surprised to see that not only was “There’s Nothing Out there!” something of a fun early nineties horror comedy, but one that was a self-aware jab at the genre long before “Scream” ever convinced audiences it did it first. “There’s Nothing Out There!” is about a bunch of high schoolers who out in to the woods for Spring break to party, drink, and bone each other senselessly. Around the same time as their arrival, an alien being has just crash landed in to Earth, and is now lurking in the woods. Is it out there? Where is it if it is out there? Why is it not in there with them?
Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010) (DVD)
Before you write this off, I have two words for you: Jaleel White. Now calm down, before you start jumping up and down screaming in excitement, he’s about the only draw here. If you were around in the nineties. And liked “Family Matters.” And remember who Jaleel White is. No he didn’t play Carlton in “Fresh Prince.” In either case, The Asylum is not intent on implementing brevity for the sake of catching on with their fan base. To prove how unnecessarily lengthy the title is I can still fondly remember showing my dad the DVD and him smiling at the premise of the movie. Twenty minutes later, this man who is known for having a mind like a steel trap and over the course of an hour continued mixing up the title.
Shutter Island (2010)
“Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?”
When I was finished with “Shutter Island,” I understood what director Martin Scorsese was pushing for in the area of a dark and complex journey of a man in to the bowels of a mysterious island. I understood that deep down Scorsese had an ambitious and admirable hunger to bring to us a modern “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” but ultimately, his efforts fail to bring a work of art that’s grandiose but low key in its effort to make a commentary about the human soul and the psyche. While the character of Teddy Daniels ends up becoming a truly tragic and complex individual, the caveat with “Shutter Island” is that everything surrounding the character of Daniels ends up becoming rather lackluster and limp. Especially when the surprise twist is given away so easily in the original trailers.