Fender Bender (2016)

FenderBenderI’ll admit I went in to Mark Pavia’s “Fender Bender” expecting almost nothing and was shocked at how effective it was in the end. It’s a solid stalk and chase slasher film mixing “Death Proof” and “The Hitcher” and director Pavia delivers a strong genre entry suitable for a lazy Friday night and some beers. “Fender Bender” centers on young Hilary, a girl living in New Mexico with her parents who just got her license. After a terrible break up with her cheating boyfriend, she accidentally runs in to another driver causing a minor fender bender. The stranger in question is a very forward and charming man who is very generous and friendly to Hilary after exchanging information.

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Bad, Bad, Gang! (1972) (DVD)

BBGDVDBack then hippies must have seemed like dirty go nowhere weirdos prone to smoking pot and having a lot of wild sex; because, well, they kind of were. But they were also prone to being the predators and sometimes prey for much of the seventies and early eighties horror and exploitation cinema. “Bad, Bad, Gang!” is a pretty solid porn film right out of the summer of love where bikers and goofy hippies clash to engage in a free for all of sex and rape.

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Evil Bong High-5 (2016)

high5Do you see what happens when you let interns make a movie with petty cash on the weekends? You come up with “Evil Bong High-5.” It’s a stoner movie that’s so bad even stoners will eventually shut it off because it’s destroying their high. At only seventy minutes long, this is a movie that literally stops dead in its tracks in order to advertise the company’s brand of painfully unfunny ethnic stereotype dolls. One of the many sequels apparently breaking even enough for another installment, Eebee the Evil Bong is back and she’s just as mean as ever. Now that she’s trapped a small group of people in The Bong World, alongside the Gingerdead Man, they have to figure out a way home.

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Cellblock Sisters: Banished Behind Bars (1995)

cellblockHenri Charr’s “Cellblock Sisters: Banished Behind Bars” (aka “Banished Behind Bars”) is one of the most nineties straight to video movies ever released. It’s a rip off of “Bad Boys” that pits nothing but gorgeous blond women against one another in a women’s prison and forces them to fight it out for control and petty grudges. Henri Charr’s crime thriller is surprisingly convoluted, but one that also gets a free pass for being one of the last of its kind before the early aughts indie resurgence of women in prison films.

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Ils (Them) (2007)

themDirectors Moreau and Palud’s “Ils (Them),” is an unnerving and spooky horror entry almost in the vein of “The Strangers,” and “Last House on the Left,” that sets down on the countryside where hooded beings are terrorizing the locals and tourists. Clementine and Lucas go away for the weekend to their country home for holiday, and after a night of dinner and love making learn that they’re being terrorized by an endless group of hooded individuals who engage in a rather horrific game of cat and mouse.

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Cutting Class (1989)

cuttingclass-2Director Rospo Pallenberg’s “Cutting Class” is a slasher film I’ve grown to enjoy over the years, and maybe that’s because there’s rarely a slasher that doesn’t win my heart. I first caught it during a late night screening on cable, and since then it’s grown on me immensely. It’s a late eighties last gasp at the slasher sub-genre that relies on the comedic styling of Martin Mull who attempts to survive an arrow attack in a conspicuously detached sub-plot from the central premise of a slasher stalking a high school.

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You Have to See This! Contamination .7 (1993)

contamination7-1What if “The China Syndrome” was remade but featuring the budget of the Craft Services, three writers amounting to a horrible script, and a cast with zero skill to deliver even the most fundamental dialogue? You ultimately get the utterly awful “Contamination .7” where in a small town named Smallsville, is being terrorized by a deadly outbreak of man killing tree roots that murder anyone and everyone for reasons unexplained. They reside in a contaminated forest covered in radioactive waste. Not a single troll rears its head at any point in the movie.

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