It’s difficult to explain “Streets of Fire” to anyone and make it sound coherent. Walter Hill’s action film has just about everything, and ends up creating one of the most vivid and exciting amalgams of genres and themes I’ve ever seen. “Streets of Fire” is a film you just have to sit down, shut up, and experience. It’s a post depression, mid-fifties, action, crime thriller and romance noir with a rock and roll and soul beat. See? I can’t sum this movie up in one whole sentence, and I’m not going to try to. I’m ashamed I took so many years getting around to watching “Streets of Fire,” but goddamn I’m very glad that I did.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
The Funhouse Massacre (2015)
Haunted attractions are big business in the US around Halloween time, each one trying to outdo the other. In the countryside, a new one called “Land of Illusion” decides to use local killers and their stories to up their scare factor. Little do they know, the six maniacs escaped the asylum housing them and find their way to the fun house and bloody, bloody mayhem ensues.
Epic History X-Men, Volume 3: The Dark Phoenix Saga
There’s no bigger an X-Men fan online than Comic Book Girl 19. The web personality has made her claim to fame from online personality to bonafide geek goddess by providing insightful, lucid, and very controversial opinions about comic books and pop culture in general. Among some of the biggest pop culture dynasties, Comic Book Girl 19 is one of the most passionate X-Men fans around. Like me, she hates the movies, but loves the X-Men comics and longs for a day when we can finally see them adapted properly on the big screen. “Epic History X-Men” has nothing to do with the movies, and is in fact about a certain stream of storylines and character arcs involving the X-Men.
Comic Book Girl 19 and director Tyson Wheeler have their cut off point, and end episode three of three with the “Dark Phoenix Saga.” The massive science fiction arc was penned by Chris Claremont and is one of the most complex, complicated, and unusual storylines ever put to the comics. And Bryan Singer actually is going to try to simplify it for one or two films. That aside, “Epic History X-Men” is a fantastic and very entertaining documentary where Comic Book Girl 19 and her sidekick Robot lay out the events of “The Dark Phoenix Saga” and explain the storyline’s nuances and emotional strong points as thoroughly as possible.
Though the series as a whole could just being Comic Book Girl 19 sitting in a chair and laying out every point of the storyline, she and director Tyson Wheeler switch up the monotony by adding splashes of panels from the comic books. They also animated a lot of the panels, and even add their own voice overs and great sound effects, all of which really add a flavor and excitement to an already enthusiastic host. Comic Book Girl 19 loves the X-Men, and she seems to have a ball describing every storyline, from Jean Grey returning as the Phoenix, the big rumble with the X-Men and an erotic mutant organization called the Hellfire Club, Wolverine taking down a whole army of guards single handedly, to Jean’s eventual transformation in to the dark side as the Dark Phoenix which ultimately split the team apart.
Comic Book Girl 19 even takes the time out to introduce her favorite X-Men: Dazzler. Dazzler is a light controlling mutant that Comic Book Girl 19 has fought for, defended, and consistently taken scrutiny for favoring over everyone else in the comics, but makes a darn good case for the character’s significance to the “Dark Phoenix Saga.” What’s punctuated through most of Volume 3 is that the “X-Men” isn’t just a series about young people going on adventures. It’s a long and very unique consistent epic about people with extraordinary powers from various ethnicities and nationalities fighting for humanity, and learning that they themselves are human, in the end.
Though considerably low budget, “Epic History” volumes 1-3 garners some bang up production with excellent voice work. They’re undoubtedly very exciting, entertaining, and heartfelt glimpses in to only some of the most important storylines in one of the most unique and original characters in comic book lore. Comic Book Girl 19 treats the material with great reverence and will likely leave you seeking out the books and appreciating the characters so much more. Suffice it to say I had more fun with the third chapter than I did with “X-Men: Apocalypse.”
“Epic History X-Men Volume 3: The Dark Phoenix Saga” is now available on Vimeo On Demand.
Dirty Grandpa (2016)
I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the pitch meeting with DeNiro for “Dirty Grandpa”: “And so Efron comes to pick you up, and you’re lying there on your recliner masturbating in the nude to interracial porn! He screams in horror while you’re ejaculating, but you’re so cool about it, that you barely acknowledge the awkwardness. The kids will love it!” I appreciate that Robert DeNiro seems to be actively working against being typecast as some wise old grandpa or magical elderly sage.
The Angry Birds Movie (2016)
I’ll just openly admit that I never played “Angry Birds.” I know it was a popular game three years ago, used on cell phones that involved animated birds being hurled in to crap, and now for some reason it’s a movie. It’s a movie that’s filled with loud noises, a warbling pop soundtrack, bright colors, and still manages to bore successfully. You can argue that this is a movie for kids, so it was obvious I wouldn’t like it. But I refuse the premise of your argument and no longer accept that cheap excuse. Kids are not this stupid. The last few years have proven kids can be given complex and rich entertainment and appreciate it completely.
Lurking Fear (1994)
Courtney Joyner’s “Lurking Fear” is classic Full Moon Entertainment from the nineties. It has a modicum of a budget, some great production value and a solid horror story. Thought it’s a loose adaptation of the HP Lovecraft tale, it does take the elements and combine them to form a classic folklore horror tale about greed and criminals getting their comeuppance. John Martenses is an ex convict who has just been released from prison and is seeking a new start. As well as the fortune apparently left behind by his family.
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
At the end of the day, “X-Men Apocalypse” is a big step up from the films in the series that preceded it, but it’s still just a Bryan Singer “X-Men” movie. Its two and a half hours of surface level action and superficial ideas that still haven’t broken in to the more complex themes of prejudice, racism, hatred, and bigotry that have made the X-Men property so beloved and widely embraced. Six movies later and only now FOX seems to be getting that a big advantage of the “X-Men” movies is that there are so many fascinating heroes and average people turned in to heroes of varied shapes, sizes, and colors. Only now that Marvel has embraced the team movie are Singer and FOX transforming the “X-Men” in to a team franchise.