Elissa is the new girl in town. Elissa just met Ryan, a good looking neighbor of hers, who she really wants to sleep with. Elissa doesn’t realize that Ryan may or may not have a dangerous past behind him. You know, he has no parents, and every time she enters his house, he screams for her to run for her life and never come back, but you know, Elissa wants him to come over for dinner. Elissa’s mother Sarah is uncomfortable about Ryan and tries to warn her about him, but where does she get off? What is she, her mom or something?
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
The Babymakers (2012) [Blu-Ray]
If anything, what makes “The Babymakers” such a tolerable bad movie is that Olivia Munn is gorgeous. Granted, she’s yet another “I’m hot but I’m edgy and funny, too!” actress in Hollywood, but in “The Babymakers” she mostly plays it straight. Munn is a beautiful and often sexy woman who glows in this film, and she serves her purpose as the woman character Tommy Mackland is desperate to please. Hey, if I were married to character Audrey, I’d be dipping my testicles on a pot of stew, too. Munn is mainly a straight man for the comedy, who spends most of the movie longing for a baby of her own, and tries to remain faithful to Tommy, who is a well meaning and mild mannered man with a lot to offer. Sure, he’s another comedy loser, but he has a good job, and a lot of courage when it comes to standing his ground. He’s a man you can respect, and somewhat pity. Because I guess pity is funny and respect is not.
Cheeky! (Trasgredire) (2000) [Blu-Ray]
Dear lord is Yuliya Mayarchuk a goddess. A being of sexual ferocity, she’s emanates sensual daring, and innocence that make her the perfect woman to head up this rather entertaining sex dramedy. Every director seems to have a fixation on some part of a woman’s body, particularly directors of erotica. Director Tinto Brass places great emphases on the woman’s behind, often preferring to show the woman’s cleverly framed rump beyond all else.
Naughty Teen (Cara Dolce Nipote) (1977) (DVD)
It’s clear that when One 7 Movies boasts that “Naughty Teen” is a rare sex comedy that many haven’t seen, they mean business. The cover for the film makes “Naughty Teen” look much more gritty than it actually is, and the women on the cover definitely isn’t star Ursula Heinle. Beyond that, the film is generally flawed with some skips in the footage, and both corners of the picture blurred, obviously to distort a television logo or crawler of some kind. Thankfully it’s not a distracting aspect of the picture, and is mostly insignificant if you focus on the film.
Sex Hunter: Wet Target (Sekkusu hantâ: Nureta hyôteki) (1972) (DVD)
I was very disappointed to see the back of the DVD case for “Sex Hunter” compare this short Roman Porno to “Thriller: A Cruel Picture.” It’s very misleading to pair one of the greatest grindhouse revenge thrillers ever made to “Sex Hunter.” It’s an hour long endurance test in tedium and finishes with a climax that is both abrupt and incredibly unsatisfying. Granted, there’s not much to expect in the way of characters and action from a movie barely clocking in at seventy minutes, but a little blood shed wouldn’t have hurt.
Arena (1989)
Charles Band’s “Arena” is a blast. And for a movie with such a small budget that is dated beyond belief, that’s quite an endorsement. There’s something about the imagination and creativity behind “Arena” that makes it such a treat to sit through. It’s such a simple and straight forward science fiction action film that it doesn’t even try for anything complicated or adult. If there’s ever a film that could use the remake treatment and become a fantastic action genre picture it’s this 1989 film from director Charles Band that sets down on an intergalactic wasteland where aliens do battle in a ring for sport and money amidst crowds of onlookers and fanatics.
Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Such a simple premise should have delivered a bland and somewhat forgettable animated film, but what Dreamworks manages to pull together is not only impressive, but surely one of the best films of 2012. “Rise of the Guardians” is a testament to the magic of folklore and the strength of belief. Though it’s not an outright declaration of theism, “Rise of the Guardians” places a lot of power on the strength of belief on sentient beings and what they can do for those that place importance in them. “Rise of the Guardians” is a film that all audiences will truly enjoy that manages to unite some of the most iconic magical beings to form the ultimate super team.