I really don’t care that Ed Neumeier is behind this. I applaud his history with science fiction cinema and Robocop, but as a sequel and standalone film “Starship Troopers 3” is a terrible film. The satire I can often stomach since it was so much apart of the original film, but the fact that the satire is much too obvious to even call it respectable satire is just much too clumsy at times. “Marauder” is that film in the series many fans were anxious to watch mainly because it’s much more loyal to the novel, but that doesn’t entirely promise entertainment.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Jurassic Park III (2001)
The third film in the “Jurassic Park” series before the development purgatory and inevitable reboot is quite the different animal. Steven Spielberg is no longer behind the camera, only one of the original cast members returns for a fan service supporting performance, new flashier dinosaurs are added to attract gimmicky crowds, and the film is noticeably shorter than its former siblings. Dr. Alan Grant sticks to the Spielbergian archetypes. He’s still Indiana Jones sans the sour disposition, and he’s divorced from his wife Ellie.
Obviously, this is due to contractual obligations, but it adds an obvious turn in the usual Spielberg films where most at war couples never quite make it, no matter how successful they are in their journeys. Joe Johnston directs what is easily the worst leg in the series, a movie so lagging and lethargic it’s almost impossible to fully soak in the conundrum these characters face.
The Lost World: Jurassic Park
“The Lost World” is one of the very few movies I’ve seen more than once in theaters, and gladly it was a rich experience every time. “The Lost World” doesn’t hold up as well as the original film since the 1993 film ventured in to the realms of gene splicing, DNA research, and the philosophy of man vs. nature, and natural selection. When natural selection chooses to snuff out the most primal animals of nature, we stand no chance when they’ve been revived and refined with modern predators. “The Lost World” however is a much less sophisticated and much more raucous sequel.
Jurassic Park (1993)
Eighteen years ago, Steven Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park” was nearly the movie of the decade. It was a film that sparked the imaginations of millions and garnered one of the more fascinating and exciting films of all time that re-defined CGI for the twentieth century and started a trend among filmmakers. “Jurassic Park” remains one of the most memorable movie going experiences of my life, and paved the way for Spielberg as my favorite filmmaker of all time, and it fueled my interest in dinosaurs. The sight of the halos of water still sends chills up my spine. As a plot device it’s one of most simplistic yet ingenious signs of doom ever created, and as a calling card for the infamous T-Rex, it’s still damn effective.
But is it still dynamic eighteen years later?
Zarkorr! The Invader (1996)
It’s pretty clear directors Michael Deak & Aaron Osborne either created a giant Kaiju movie with a sense of humor, or a Kaiju movie that is actually a spoof of Godzilla. There can be no other reason to explain the inadvertent comedy and utterly atrocious performances in “Zarkorr! The Invader.” It’s a film so bad but so utterly entertaining that you’ll likely laugh along with its idiocy as it takes you on the roller coaster ride.
Kraa! The Sea Monster (1998)
Monster Island is at it again, except this time we enter in to a virtual clone of Power Rangers, all of whom–named the Planet Patrol–take on Lord Doom and his lethal weapon Kraa! I’ve never seen any of the actual material for Planet Patrol (what little there is), nor am I aware of the back story, so “Kraa!” will assuredly be confusing for anyone paying attention. Especially when you see news footage from “Zarkorr!” blatantly reused for “Kraa!” All we’re told is that evil Lord Doom (who dons a stock skull mask and cape) is planning to unleash the Sea Monster Kraa! This monster will rise from the seas to conquer Earth, all the while Doom plans to take the planet’s ice for his world.
Insecticidal (2005)
“Maggoty cannibal girls don’t get dates!”
Bitchy (but hot) Josi is throwing the party of the week at her sorority house, where booze runs heavy and gorgeous women scamper around. The only sister not having fun is her own. Young Cami is a scientist and geeky (but hot) aspiring entomologist who worships bugs and garners her own bug zoo in her room. On a bitchy tirade, Josi storms in to Cami’s room and kills all of her bugs with spray. Unfortunately the spray has counteracted with the chemicals Cami has fed them and now the bugs are alive, the size of Buick’s and ready to munch on some busty party goers!