Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

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Believe it or not, I was hopeful for the remake of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. While I was never a fan of Tim Burton (I’ve always considered him over rated), I was hoping Burton’s take on the story would be entertaining and very amusing, but alas, Burton botches yet another remake. For those whom may not remember, Burton  completely botched the remake of “Planet of the Apes” which went from a thought provoking allegory about society to a dumbed down teen science fiction film. Now, granted, I did give it a good review, it was based mostly on the cast and make up.

Either way, don’t believe the excuses of the hardcore Burton fan boys, this is a remake in every sense of the word, but Burton goes in the hall of fame of directors whom just couldn’t top the original masterpiece.

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Japanese Story (2003)

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japanese_story_xlgToni Collette can carry a movie as we’ve seen in “The Sixth Sense”, and she can play supporter and steal the show like in “Shaft” and “About a Boy”, so I take every chance possible to watch new movies starring this always likable and very versatile indie actress, and “Japanese Story” is the perfect example of her just amazing acting skills she presents with every film she’s in. Despite its title, it’s not foreign, I’m sorry to tell ya, folks, like “La Femme Nikita”… oh wait that is foreign… moving on–as I said, it’s a culture clash, and quite a good one at that; they’re opposite. The two people we meet here are completely opposite all in nature, culture, and refinement.

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Doom (2005)

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doomI don’t play video games anymore. Yes, call me a freak all you want, but I’m not the one spending over five hundred dollars for a ridiculous new game system that will be obsolete in two years. Either way, I used to play video games, but the game “Doom” was never my milieu. It was too much of a fast-paced game and I never gained interest, but I know the basic gist of the narrative involved. So, you can imagine my dismay with the utter abysmal alterations made to the storyline turning it from nihilistic action horror to cookie cutter action science fiction (and don’t feed me that “But it’s based on Doom 3” crap).

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Bring it On Again (2004)

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Finally, the long awaited–well, not long awaited–finally the much anticipated–well, not anticipated, finally the curiously thought of… well no one actually wanted this. Well, anyway, this sequel of the direct to video status is what you’d suspect is the sequel to “Bring it On”. Now, much to everyone’s surprise, I thought “Bring it On” was an original and very entertaining comedy about cheerleaders and delved in to the sports world of that facet. And it was butchered to death with a company that refuses to know when to quit, and thus, here’s the sequel. Suffice it to say “Bring it on Again” is less a bad movie, and more pointless.

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Elektra (2005)

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elektra_2005_500x375_279977Going in to pissed off fan boy mode in 3, 2, 1: So, here’s a history lesson in case you wanted it or not. Elektra, pre-Hollywoodization, was a beautiful but incredibly vicious warrior. She had depth, and personality and humanity, and was forced to turn against her beliefs when Bullseye, the psychotic killer murdered her beloved father in front of her eyes. Elektra blamed Daredevil for not helping when he could have and trained with the Hand to become a warrior. She returned to stalk Daredevil and fell in love with him. She was killed at the hands of Bullseye and returned as an undead warrior, more vicious than ever. All of this made possible by Frank Miller.

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Fantastic Four (2005)

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In spite of what many, many others think, I kind of like the original “Fantastic Four” directed by Roger Corman. It’s pretty damn bad, but for entertainment value, it’s so bad it’s good. Well, this new adaptation is basically in the same boat. It’s so poor quality it works only as a guilty pleasure. Word to wise, some times some comic book series shouldn’t be made in to movies, because it will be lost in the translation. Example one. Face it, while “Fantastic Four” was good on the page, you have to take in to consideration that film is extremely literal. And sometimes this type of material just shouldn’t be put to the page. What I found pretty humorous was that during the release, the producers made is perfectly clear, “This is not The Incredibles” over and over to crowds comparing the two.

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Sideways (2004)

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sideways_02There are very few films in this day and age that both harkens back to the tradition of “Five Easy Pieces” exploring characters with no real future or anything to look forward to, and searching for one, while exploring the incredulously distressing and often futile machinations in the artistic experience of an author. What “Sideways” truly grabbed me with, was the glimpse at a man, with no true distinguishable personality traits who struggles and toils away to get published with little to no success. He’s a man who wants big things but is basically brought down by his own insecurities–and freakishly large novel.

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