No seriously, is this a real movie? No seriously. And studios wonder why they’re in a state of decline. Now, I’ve never seen the original “Stepford Wives”, which I recall was more of a grim statement about feminism, but I can easily imagine that it was ten times better than this, as is always the case. So, as if there weren’t enough male bashing in this militant neo-feminist, politically correct age where men are inbred, dumb, fat monsters, and women are smart, beautiful, flawless beings, we get this ridiculous remake. Ridiculous is just me holding my tongue, mind you, because what I really want to call it, would offend even Lenny Bruce. In a nut shell, this is further male bashing about a male bashing society seeking revenge by male bashing those who are tired of being relegated to subservient positions.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Rivers and Tides: Andy Goldsworthy Working With Time (2002)
What Andy Goldsworthy does is pure magic that can be deemed as truly amazing, or just a truly amazing use of proficiency. Goldsworthy masters his craft within an instance going out in to a natural terrain and instantly begins looking for objects to make up his next masterpiece. Goldsworthy takes what he’s given from nature, and in an obviously edited nature begins making a design. Scottish born artist Goldsworthy speaks with a gentle voice very often as all artists do knowing any little tremor will break down the masterpiece, and though he be slightly eccentric, mad, and demanding, he does manage to surprise with visions of nature that really made me gasp and smile with wonder at the beauty presented to us in stark luminous colors and shades.
Vlad (2003)
Imagine “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” mixed with “The Davinci Code”, imagine “Interview with the Vampire” sans the homosexual overtones, imagine “Dracula”, mixed with two Benadryl, a shot of whiskey, and a knock on the head, and you can perfectly sum up what “Vlad” is. This poor man’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” that becomes more of a quasi-“The Vlad Code” is a snoozer and a half, as a bunch of people try to dissect the legend of Vlad Tepes, but what sounds like a taut analyses of the legend of a war monger inevitably becomes a murky, utterly mindless, superficial quasi-thriller with people talking a lot and not saying much, characters interacting without chemistry, a lot of discovering Romanian villages without ever involving the audience, and a lot of characters walking around the forest without getting anywhere… and Billy Zane shows up at one point.
Unbreakable (2000)
This is, to put it plainly, my current favorite film of all time.
Let me count the ways:
Cinematography. It’s experimental without being art kitschy. If there’s one thing that M. Night seems to get, it’s a good director of photography. The man knows how to frame a scene. A lot of that, I assume, is just like writing a book. Practice. And M. Night, judging from the early age at which he started making films, has a lot of practice. There are a number of angles in this film that just stick with you. The scene in the train from the perspective of the child. The scene from above the weights, giving the audience weight on the main character. The scene in the rapist’s home where you see the rapist suddenly appear. Willis in frame in his Security Outfit, as superhero as a superhero movie gets.
Kung Fu Hustle (2004)
After Stephen Chow’s hilarious “Shaolin Soccer”, he comes back with yet another very funny action-comedy that is part Chuck Jones, part Bruce Lee. The marriage of tense, engrossing martial arts action, and off the wall screwball antics that would make Tex Avery gleam with pride, is a task that wouldn’t be an easy one by any means, but director Stephen Chow balances the two accordingly, and as the climax becomes more action than comedy, there is still a sense of the goofy to it, a goofiness that some will love for its sheer originality, and some won’t for that same fact. Chow manages to create some of the most screwy comedy I’ve seen in a long time, while he manages to spoof much of his influences such as “The Shining” and “Thriller” as do all the directors whom have been impacted by pop culture.
A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
I’m not sure what warranted the comparison, but “A Tale of Two Sisters” ultimately reminded me very much of “Hide and Seek”, the recent horror dud I had the misfortune of watching. Both films are very much similar in tone, theme, and concept, but make no mistake, they are not the same. In spite of its excellent cover, this isn’t entirely a horror film per se. This is more, in the sense, a supernatural drama that really manages to pinpoint the underlying themes of psychological trauma and childhood pain that, regardless of how much we try, can not ever come to grips with while telling one damn fine story. Such is the situation with this utterly beautiful masterpiece that paints itself as horror, but really ends up becoming an allegory for something completely different.
Ong Bak: Thai Fighter (2003)
I’m not sure why I took as long as I did watching “Ong Bak”. Perhaps it was because I’ve seen so many really bad martial arts films since I was a child, but when I was done with “Ong Bak”, I was just utterly blown away. “Ong Bak” knocked my socks off, and I was cursing myself for not seeing it sooner. “Ong Bak” marks the American premiere of Tony Jaa, a man whose physical talents are just astounding. But be warned “Ong Bak” is not a film based heavily on story, it’s mainly just there for the utterly amazing fight scenes. Fight scenes that are not only some of the most amazing action sequences I’ve ever seen in an action film, but also have some great choreography.