Still waiting for MTV to pull out a masterpiece from their shops, but still no luck. A bad review and a low rating won’t surprise anyone. It may, in fact, draw people more towards watching this. It’s what ultimately drew me in. This movie is like a car wreck: violent, vicious and intense, but you can’t bear to turn away. This is not a “movie” per se, but more of an uncensored extended episode of the original series. Many of the stunts are scattered throughout the entire movie with no evidence of organizing or editing. The stunts are humorous at times, but most of the time are just plain crude and obnoxious. Many of the sadomasochistic players in the movie perform idiotic and stupid stunts and often laugh like morons on medication when in pain.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Empire (2002)
“Empire” is a fiasco for the record books, one that desperately tries to carve heroes out of thugs, gangsters, and deviants, and fails horribly. The movie, noticeably, takes much of its formula from better gangster flicks, including “Scarface” and rips apart the movies, taking each element, pasting it together in this. The entire narrative and pitiful attempts at character development are annoying, slow and so predictable it’s disgusting. Franc. Reyes directs this like a film student, never contributing anything new or different to talk about.
The Time Machine (2002)
For a movie with such a big budget and such incredible special-effects, it’s hard to believe this is so terrible. I think Guy Pearce is a great actor and should be in roles better suited for him rather than starring in low-level cheesy roles such at this. He tries his best to work with the material he’s given in this movie and seems to work hard but it doesn’t pay off simply because of the story. Director Simon Wells, great grandson of H.G. Wells and director of animated films such as “Balto” and “The Prince of Egypt” completely misses the point of the novel and turns it into a cheesy science fiction flick. The movie is loud and gaudy, often giving to the audience more style than substance and presenting a paper thin adaptation.
Scooby-Doo (2002)
“Let’s get jinkie with it.” Yes, folks, this is actual dialogue from the movie that is spouted by the “smartest” of the characters, Velma. The characters are poorly cast, including Daphne, who, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, looks nothing like her animated counterpart, Freddy, played by the atrocious actor Freddie Prinze Jr. has little command or charisma so it’s hard to take him seriously at all. Matthew Lillard is good as Shaggy but fails to gives the squeaky voice that Shaggy provides in the cartoons. Scooby is poorly animated and just looks weird and nothing like the original dog. At times he gives these odd expressions which made me furrow my brows a lot.
Metropolis (Metoroporisu) (2001)
Based on the comic book by Osamu Tezuka, we visit Metropolis, a humongous city where high-class humans roam free and robots toil and work underground occasionally surfacing illegally. We meet detective Shunsaku Ban and Ken-ichi two people searching for a scientist performing illegal experiments with robots. This is probably one of the most unusual anime movies I have ever seen. The entire animated sequence and character designs closely resemble the works of legendary animator Ralph Bakshi (Cool World, and Fritz the Cat). No two characters in this movie look alike and no two characters seem alike. Many people who hear about this seems to think this movie is an animated Japanese remake of the 1929 Fritz Lang “Metropolis”.
The Opportunists (2000)
Victor Kelly (Christopher Walken Catch me if you can, Deer Hunter) is an ex – con from Queens who’s out of luck running an auto shop that basically being driven into the ground. One day a mysterious Irish relative appears claiming he’s related to him. However, he is soon lured back into crime by he and two other eager security and, left without any options, he decides to plan a heist to rob a low – security bank.
Deuce’s Wild (2002)
Despite the slick and grim tone of “Deuce’s Wild,” Scott Kalvert’s attempt at a gangster picture is the worst film of 2002. And it’s likely one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. We get a nonsensical, clichéd movie with a contrived plot and go-nowhere characters, all of whom are nothing but comical walking clichés with writers Paul Kimatian, and Christopher Gambale showing zero restraint in predictability. How do you waste such a dynamic cast on such a putrid waste of film?