I’m hesitant to bash anything Jason Statham is in, because I truly hope he continues delivering in solid adult action and thriller vehicles, and doesn’t resort to starring as a disgruntled babysitter in a family vehicle alongside some Disney moppet. In either case, while Statham is always a scene stealer, “Crank: High Voltage” is garbage. And not entertaining garbage like the first film, but garbage that should never have existed.
Girls Gone Dead (2012)
There is nothing worse than a slasher movie that takes forever to get going. Directors Michael Hoffman Jr. and Aaron T. Wells build a film almost two hours long that takes thirty minutes to really get in motion. I’m not averse to watching hot girls jiggle around and play in pools, but you have to give us something more if you’re not going to directly begin hacking characters to death. “Girls Gone Dead” doesn’t enter in to its actual plot until thirty minutes. The first half hour is nothing but filler and bad exposition. Save for a funny cameo from Linnea Quigley, the first half hour easily could have been cut or truncated for pacing.
Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)
Countdown to “Man of Steel”!
Fans have debated since 2006 whether or not the Richard Donner Cut is the superior or inferior version to its 1980 brother from Richard Lester. Thanks to a online campaign from fans to allow Richard Donner to complete the film he was kicked off of, Donner finally was able to release his own version of the movie on DVD with some alterations, and major story changes. Back in 1980, when Donner was replaced by Richard Lester, many of the cast and crew followed with him. This time Donner is able to not only show what he had in store for much of his own Superman sequel, but also showed that he had a much more mature mind set in regards to the second outing for Superman on the big screen.
The Howling: Collector's Edition (Blu-Ray) (1981)
After over thirty years, director Joe Dante’s “The Howling” has thankfully managed to survive its dated premise and concept, and remains a very good horror classic. While it’s surely not the best werewolf film I’ve ever seen (“An American Werewolf in London,” anyone?), it’s definitely a werewolf picture that stands above its contemporaries. It presents audiences with a steady and rich balance of slow burn mystery, werewolf terror, and some fun dark humor that’s peppered ever so lightly throughout the film.
Monday Movie Pause: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988) Trailer
The official NSFW trailer for “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers” starring Linnea Quigley.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R78TB5t4g0&w=420&h=315]
The Return of Swamp Thing (1989)
The sequel to the Wes Craven horror fantasy completely strips away all pretense of drama and horror, and completely relies on its camp potential. “The Return of Swamp Thing” is more of an action comedy this time around, with Dick Durock returning as the plant man monster who lurks the swamps to fight crime and protect humans from Arcane’s mutant men. This time around Swamp Thing is basically on his own and becomes a more sentient being as he did in his television drama. Now forced to help a new love interest, as played by Heather Locklear, Swamp Thing has an unusual lure with the ladies. Can he procreate or engage in sexual activities? Who knows?
Superman II (1980)
Countdown to “Man of Steel”!
“Superman II” isn’t entirely better than “Superman,” though it’s often considered by many to be the superior film in the entire series. “Superman II” is, in the end, a perfectly good action film that offers what the first film doesn’t. It gives Superman a match that offers him an incredibly hard time. Especially when he loses his powers. In spite of all of the hooplah behind the scenes involving Richard Donner being pushed out of the film’s production, and most of the cast following him out the door, “Superman II” is still a really good action film that manages to expand on the Superman mythos.