Felix Vasquez digs deep in to the library of titles from his childhood to explore the movies he once adored that have showed their age significantly and are now movies he consciously avoids. As capsules of their decade, their overall messages, and their critical standings, he explains why they’re movies that have aged poorly.
TIM BURTON’S BATMAN (1989)
Directed by Tim Burton
Written by Sam Hamm, Warren Skaaren
We all have that dark voice in us. That little spark that says punch the guy who called you a bitch right in his throat. Go scratch your name into his car. Get revenge. That, my friends, is why we enjoy movies about others seeking vengeance so much. We can sit down, watch the violent release and never have to worry about feeling guilty. The pompous directors in pure denial want to call them thrillers. Hell, they would prefer if we called them thrillers, and not revenge films, but we know what they are. Hell, strippers want to be called erotic dancers, but we all know it’s not going to happen. Strippers are strippers, and revenge films are revenge films.
And that’s just how we likes ’em. Suddenly, the revenge genre is big news in Hollywood, and those of us who love a good revenge tale are in hog heaven. In the last two years along we’ve have flicks like “Death Sentence” with Kevin Bacon, “Straightheads” with Julianne Moore, and “The Brave One” with Jodie Foster. So, in honor of this sudden resurgence, we wanted to pay respect to our absolute favorite revenge films. Be aware, we excluded some utter classics, but we felt these deserved a spot in the top ten in the end. Let the blood flow.
These past few decades haven’t particularly sold me on the Witchblade franchise that’s for sure. For one, I never found too much to take away from the comic book beyond Michael Turner’s fantastic art, and then here came the TNT Television series that was nothing but underwhelming and completely void of any potential to rise above the television crime series doldrums it practiced.
In spite of my best efforts to enjoy it upon its premiere, “Witchblade” could never quite convince me that it was something worth sitting through until its end after two seasons. It hasn’t aged too well eight years after it premiered. It’s filled with bullet time (courtesy of “The Matrix” craze), and bears numerous references to Ricky Martin, but watching it again after so long, it’s not as bad as I remembered.
Granted, I didn’t fall in love with “The Mutant Chronicles” as much as I’d hoped, but with post-apocalyptic movies it’s almost impossible for me to be disappointed. Director Simon Hunter’s Science Fiction horror flick doesn’t disappoint even if it’s never anything above average. Hunter gathers all the right elements for the post-apocalyptic epic from corporate corruption, war, and religion, as well as the teaming of a group of survivors who could save the world with their collective skills on the battle field. Bringing strong memories of “Seven Samurai” to mind, Hunter and co. aim for a more comic book or video game approach by treating each character with a mini-bio per their introductions. Thanks to the ever vigilant Brother Samuel who acts as the resident moral center and martyr.
The last experience I had with Voltron was when people were assuming the first “Cloverfield” teaser was a hint at a new “Voltron” movie. God, that feeling of excitement at the possibility of anything was incredible. As for Voltron, I’ve always known he was a cool character with an interesting mythos, but I never really thought he’d be such a great comic book. So void of camp is this series, and so mature has it become that it’s quite different from everything else I’ve read.
Oh man, do I love the word fuck. I use it and I use it all the time and though it can often sully my attempts to be taken seriously by a few individuals, I use the word fuck and all of its variations whenever and however I please. It’s practically a bodily function. And even my most foul mouthed friends have taken great pains in getting me to use it less frequently. People are very startled by the word Fuck, and no one knows why. What is it about this four letter word that sends people in to a fit? Why does the word fuck send even the most liberal people in to a series of gasps and furrowed brows?
I set aside everything I was doing when I received this for the simple fact that in spite of being a triple dip, in spite of being a cash grab for fans, in spite of marketing on our anticipation for “The Dark Knight,” this is a marvelous boxed set. Absolutely marvelous. And mind you, I’m a person who hates re-releases and avidly avoids them at every turn. I don’t care how many new features are on a re-release, I’ll avoid it if I’m set with my current DVD purchase. The Limited Edition Gift Set is fantastic, and I think I would love to see this for “Superman Returns” eventually.