This is the day in the life, the day in the life of some clerks. These clerks work at a local store which never gets much business yet they still manage to experience many crazy customers and have stories to tell. No, this isn’t a Kevin Smith movie, but “Kisses and Caroms” really wishes it were. I like the fact that people tend to think every profession sports a slew of assorted characters and various nuts, but that’s just not life; life is not filled with nuts and outlandish weirdo’s who trot in and out to give you a hard time. Thanks a lot Kevin Smith, you prick. So instead of a video and convenience store we instead focus on a group of clerks who work at a billiard store.
Lady in the Water (2006)
M. Night Shyamalan is nothing if not ambitious; I mean he creates films like a child seeking to spin his own stories in his own universe that could form a canon for aspiring filmmakers to launch from, and his vision gets in the way of his film and his fairy tale spins on its own while the film struggles to keep up. I enjoyed most of the fairy tale Shyamalan invents here involving a creature that can camouflage as grass, a mermaid, a giant eagle, and monkeys. If you’re wondering about his famous and infamous surprise ending, there isn’t one. There’s just one plot twist that’s interesting, and that’s all, so I won’t ruin much here. Continue reading
Miami Vice (2006)
Mann is in quite a predicament with “Miami Vice” a remake of his hit show from the eighties. He created a show that was ahead of its time, a gritty realistic show about two cops in the underground, years subsequent to the shows success and ending, over a thousand imitations popped up in film, television, and novels, and the formula became old. The sad state of Mann’s adaptation of his own work is that “Miami Vice” was edgy in its time, but these days we’ve had so many gritty cop flicks with a black and white officer partnership, that the concept presented here is just tired and feels simply like a vehicle for its two stars.
Soul Searcher (2005)
I am the grim reaper, I walk softly, carry a big scythe, and kick demonic ass from here to Narnia. And now you know the concept of “Soul Searcher”. I enjoyed this flick from the very beginning where our hero is driving a truck overnight and accidentally interrupts the grim reaper kicking a demons ass all over the street. The grim reaper is falling ill and needs a new apprentice to help him in stopping the forces of evil from opening the realm of Hades and letting in a horde of uglies, and the guy named Joe happens to be the man he’s looking for–and he’s taking no prisoners.
John Tucker Must Die (2006)
Dear Brittany Snow,
I love you. And I want you to know it. I’ve loved you since “American Dreams”, and have ever since. I’d gladly listen to a continuous loop of “Secret Lover” as sung by Kevin Federline, and William Hung just to have the chance to eat grapes off of your ass crack and confess my unrequited love to thee while you parade yourself in the red silk lingerie you’re featured in midway. Yes, this is true. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. You say creepy, but I say lovelorn. I’m only human, damn it!
And we’re back.
Silent Hill (2006)
Christophe Gans’ depiction of the “Silent Hill” video game is really above dreck like “Doom” and “Resident Evil”. It’s a very popular series of games that are basically just a woman looking for her daughter in the ghost infested abandoned town, as she battles demons and tries to decrypt a mystery. Instead of adhering to the game and letting its formulas trap it down, it instead attempts to break out. It sticks true to the source material and also delves deep into focusing on an actual story and deep characterization in spite of its failings. Though there’s yet to be an actual video game adaptation that’s been fantastic, “Silent Hill” works because it dares to challenge its conventions of the video game world.
In Memorium (2005)
Director Amanda Gusack creates a film very much in the vein of “Blair Witch Project”, and from the get go there’s this sense of pure dread and impending doom that’s presented with a stark gray ambiance. The character Dennis is dying from terminal bone cancer that is eating away at his body. He and his wife (the gorgeous Johanna Watts) move into a new home they then rig with various cameras to film every one of his developments and movements to chronicle and possibly create as a documentary for his legacy and his wife to bank off of. But this documenting is interrupted with something ever more sinister.