Accepted (2006)

I’ll say I had zero expectations in regards to “Accepted”, mainly because it looked so ridiculous, and vapid. And it is, but I enjoyed it, because it provides a very entertaining ninety minutes that starts out as a typical college comedy and transforms into a somewhat interesting social commentary. And it’s funny as hell. I like Justin Long a lot, I’ve liked him since “Jeepers Creepers” and in “Accepted”, he’s funny as a quasi-Ferris Bueller named Bartleby Gaines who has slacked off through high school, and to prevent breaking it to his family that he can’t get into any schools, he instead invents a school which then snowballs into a grand hoax.

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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

talladeganights_magic_manBobby is a boy who dreams of becoming a racer, and when he finally gets the chance, he becomes one of the most popular racers in the industry. That is until he has a break down after a crash and now must rebuild what was taken away from him. Ferrell’s foray into adult comedy once again is a weak and mediocre one, and for every one hilarious joke that “Talladega Nights” hits with audiences, there are about four or five that really fail to be as funny as it could be. McKay’s film is too aware of itself, and instead of playing it deadpan while delivering the gags and jokes, it desperately tries to gauge laughs from the audience, including every such nuance and quirk it can just to assure itself that we’ll laugh.

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Horrors of War (2006)

Directors Peter John Ross and John Whitney have a grasp on what horror is, and that’s a plus when you’re watching “Horrors of War”, a pretty intense piece of independent horror that will surely get your goat. If the bad-ass cover doesn’t sell you, I don’t know what will. The directors begin “Horrors of War” very much like “Saving Private Ryan” with a massive shoot-out between the Americans and Nazi soldiers, and then suddenly the American troop is attacked by a near invincible zombie. At that moment I found that “Horrors of War” wasn’t simply any horror film, and that’s why it won me over.

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Not Until You Dance (2005)

nuydBeing a best man is hard enough, but having to subdue to the duties required of you be they tedious or ridiculous is the part of the job that really makes it an unappealing aspect. Bored by his best friends wedding, a young dog is told he can’t leave the wedding until he can dance.

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Snakes on a Plane (2006)

snakes-on-a-plane-2006Samuel L. Jackson has just bought himself a heaping helpful of infamy and prestige shamelessly bragging about and spearheading one of the most ludicrous ad campaigns ever enlisted for such a ridiculous movie. I admit I was one of the many who thought the hype, jokes, spoofs, et al were all overblown for what could have been a mediocre big budget crap fest. But you know what? When all was said and done, I’d rather have a fun ridiculous original film, then another remake of a childhood classic. And that’s what invariably won me over on “Snakes on a Plane”.

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I Sold My Soul for an I-Pod!

The movies on the Sci Fi Channel suck hard; everyone knows that.

From sea to shining sea, it’s become common knowledge these days that about eighty percent of what’s shown on the Sci Fi Channel is likely to be utterly unwatchable, while the rest of it is just mediocre nonsense that not even the geekiest fan boys bother with. And I refer to the early films only.

Their showings of their “original” films that they tag as Sci Fi products are all retreaded rehashed TV movie of the week schlock, too stupid for NBC or ABC. They all rely on formulas of a consistent routine of giant monsters, killer bugs, undersea creatures, faux-action features, superheroes, disaster pictures revolving around a natural occurrence or the apocalypse, and bargain basement fantasy with CGI that was old hat in 1998.

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Evil Aliens (2005)

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About five minutes into Jake West’s “Evil Aliens”, I was already sinking low into my seat wondering what I was watching. It begins as a simple horror film. Two people are having sex. And they’re abducted. The man then experiences one hell of a violent anal probe that tops off the sick fuck fest known as “Evil Aliens”, and I was having fun. Led by an utterly vivacious news reporter (Emily Booth), a group of cameramen and reporters head out into the countryside to investigate a case of abduction, and alien pregnancy they suspect is bogus, that will essentially lead to one hell of a bloody skirmish that makes up most of “Evil Aliens”.

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