Jackass: Number Two (2006)

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MV5BNzgzNDYyOTcxNl5BMl5BanBBam: I’d rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river, than do that again.

It’s no big new flash, and not a shock that “Jackass” and everything about it, has never been a favorite of mine. I despised the show, despise the talentless asses involved in it, and I loathed the first film. Say whatever you want about me, but I just don’t get what the appeal is about this series. I’m curious when stupid chic became so popular, and why “Jackass” is consistently popular. I just don’t get it, I admit that. But then again, “Jackass: Number Two” had me near tears the entire time. Shocked? You know you are. Close your mouth and keep reading.

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Howl's Moving Castle (Hauru no ugoku shiro) (2004)

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howl-Young_Sophie-big

“Howl’s Moving Castle” is probably one of the weaker entries from Miyazaki. Miyazaki’s films have one thing for them that you can not deny. Originality. “Howl’s Moving Castle” is original, and it’s brutally entertaining, and that’s why I enjoyed this very much. Sure, I was watching the American dubbing (accidental, give me a break), but “Howl’s Moving Castle” possesses more unique fantasy elements and plot progression that really kept me in awe constantly. A scarecrow that follows our heroine like a lovesick dog? An old dog that weighs a ton? A little boy who masquerades as an old man? And a heroine who turns into an elderly woman sporadically? You take a look at Miyazaki’s universe and you’re nothing short of breath taken the entire time.

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Night Skies (2007)

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nightskies1b“Night Skies” is almost ninety minutes long. It falls short of that number by six minutes. Forty-seven minutes is the time it takes for our mysterious aliens to finally drop down on our hapless travelers and launch their attack. That’s almost eighty percent of the film we’re told is a horror/sci-fi movie. Supposedly based on the accounts of the original victims of this alien abduction, apparently, the writers felt that since the accounts of the supposed remaining victim of these alien abductions were possibly vague and unusable, filling the film up with over an hour of soap opera melodrama would have made for more quality entertainment. Fact is, Knyrim sets forth many plot devices and potential story elements and never pays off for the audience.

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Crimson (2007)

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crimlong3Ah, good deeds. Don’t believe the hype folks. Sure it’s good for your karma, but it will inevitably come back to kick your ass every now and then. Have you ever heard the term “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished”? That’s the basic premise behind the short feature film from Richard Poche who builds his entire story around this chestnut that couldn’t prove any truer. “Crimson” is the story of women performing a good deed, and inevitably getting much more than they bargained for, and I have to tell you that I was admittedly excited upon viewing what Poche had to offer. And surely enough, Poche has an appealing visual style that makes “Crimson” a constantly vibrant production.

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The All New Superfriends Hour: Season One, Volume One (DVD)

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Form of Sexy Hispanic!
Shape of Comic Fan Boy!

I loved “Superfriends.” It cashed in on the Scooby-Doo franchise by giving us two human teen characters and an annoying dog, and also introduced some of the stupidest superheroes of all time like Apache Chief, and the Wonder Twins. Ah, the Wonder Twins, a product of the disco era with a bit of “Xanadu” and pure retardation thrown in for good measure.

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Evan Almighty (2007)

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evanalmighty2007prevIt’s typical of Hollywood. You take probably the only entertaining aspect of the last Jim Carrey movie that was basically thinly veiled religious propaganda about the pressures of being God, and how much people depend on you, and you expand upon it until it stops becoming funny, and then pretty much just run it into the ground with even more blatant religious propaganda and preaching than the first installment. Steve Carrell plays Evan Baxter, the obligatory antagonist from “Bruce Almighty” who is now a US Congressman. As he moves his family to Washington, and discovers his congress duties are interfering with activities with his needy wife and spoiled children, God comes knocking at his door forcing him to build him an arc. What happens if Evan refuses? Well, God pesters, and annoys, and the pretty much just frightens him at every turn with his insurmountable power. That’s God for you. Do what he says or you die.

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Cecil B. DeMented (2000)

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You think you’ve seen and heard it all in your life. And then you realize that the homicidal cult of psychotic movie freaks who are intended to be the twisted villains of this John Waters pic, are people you tend to agree with. I agreed with  everything these psychos screamed from beginning to end, and that’s frightening. I admit that. Now lock me up before I do something rash in the name of good filmmaking. I’ve not always been a fan of John Waters films, particularly his dark comedies, but with “Cecil B. Demented” I was surprised to see that not only did he concoct a damn fine movie, but he also manages to convey obsession for the film  medium that’s amped thirty percent into the sociopathic circle (Look for Maggie Gyllenhaal in a funny performance as a sadistic goth).

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