The more people I come across, the more it seems 2006 was an awful year for everyone. But, I saw more movies in 2006 than I’ve seen in a while, so this will be my first time creating a top ten. I’ve yet to see many others so, this is a list of movie I’ve seen. So, here is a list of our top ten movies of 2006:
Masters of Horror: Valerie on the Stairs
Being an aspiring writer, knowing aspiring writers, and being apart of a world filled with aspiring writers, “Valerie on the Stairs” was really an interesting installment that spoke about how ideas and imagination can tend to die with a horrible writer, and on how some ideas can be housed somewhere. In “Valerie on the Stairs,” we visit a home for aspiring writers whose own abode has become the breeding ground for a monster who perhaps may be a figment of imagination taken shape. Garris’ installment is a provoking little humdinger, with slight shades of subtlety, explore the condition of being a writer and the suffering that becomes apart of it. What happens when unfulfilled imagination manifests and rebels violently against its creators?
Cinema Crazed's Worst 10 of 2006…
10. The Lake House
Yet another cheesy marketing ploy. Watch the cardboard cut out and America’s Sweetheart who hasn’t had a hit in years team again to star in one of the stupidest most absurd romance dramas ever made. A man communicates with a woman through a mailbox that can travel two years into the future. Why such a weird number? Who knows. Regardless, the time differences are barely noticable, the entire film is soapy, and the mailbox becomes an irrelevant plot device in the second half as suddenly, these two get the power to change time to fit their romance. Goody. Correction: Crappy.
Grave of the Fireflies (Hotaru No Haka) (1988)
As an uncle, as a brother, the oldest of three, and as a son, “Grave of the Fireflies” was a grueling film to sit through. Being a victim of a horrible sequence of events and watching your loved one fade away is something I’m all too familiar with. Watching “Grave of the Fireflies,” possibly the most heart-breaking film I’ve seen in years, you will know what that’s like too. Isao Takahatacreates a film that doesn’t need ghouls and goblins and fairies. It’s all frightening enough.
Rocky Balboa (2006)
“Rocky Balboa” would work better if seen after “Rocky.” This man at the top of his game earns the love of his life, to which we turn to “Rocky Balboa” where this man is now a wash out, with no family, and the love of his life dead. It would make much more of an impact. What occurs is Rocky not trying to reclaim his fame, but prove he can have one last go around before he properly fades away into the darkness to live out the rest of his life and die. What Stallone also tackles is the rampant ageism in America. Can a man in his late fifties still do what he did in his early thirties? Can a man be robbed of what he wants because of his age?
The Roost (2004)
What are bats? Flying rats who shit on you while flying off. What is “The Roost”? A flying piece of shit. Same difference, don’t you think? Actually, when I finished “The Roost,” I think watching seventy minutes of stock footage with bats would have been much more thrilling than Ti West’s horror indie. I can just imagine the brain storming for this junk with West trying to sell it:
Producer: So, what’s it about?
West: Four people on the road…
Producer: Oh god.
West: Discover an abandoned farm house.
Producer: Oh geez.
West: Will you let me finish?
Producer: Fine.
West: They discover an abandoned farm house, and are attacked by ravenous bats!
Producer: Okay…?
West: And they flutter, and tear your face apart! Gah!
Continue reading
The Ringer (2005)
I liked “The Ringer.” I liked it a lot. Because, in spite of the jack ass from “Jackass” starring, and the potential for a complete cheapening of the Special Olympics, every opportunity this film had to spit in our faces, it didn’t. The controversy behind this was pointless. Because, in spite of the previews, “The Ringer” really isn’t a cheap comedy. The mentally disabled pictured here are not comedy props for fart jokes, and they’re not caricatures, or objects to laugh at. I just didn’t understand the controversy behind “The Ringer.” Maybe it was bad press for the sake of hype, or perhaps just more morons making a fuss over a film they haven’t seen just yet, but when I was finished, I didn’t see the big deal. It’s not just some shitty comedy from Tom Green, and it didn’t warrant any sort of hype in the end.