Oh, boy, is this ever a doozy! This movie is unlike it’s predecessor. As where it’s predecessor gained an advantage with depth, drama, horror, and intrigue, this lacked greatly. First off, the cast is wretched with incredibly bad unknowns strewn about throughout the movie; we get cheesy special effects often throughout the movie as the vampires seem more like comic book characters than actual vampires. Lestat who was once made intimidating by Tom Cruise is now an arrogant sex fiend who growls and hisses at everything making him seem more comical than scary.
John Q (2002)
This movie has a lot of heart, sure, but it doesn’t have a good story to go with it. The movies story and pacing is so weak and slow, that at times it makes it hard to watch. It has excellent plot devices yet never pulls through with them. For example, the entire hostage scene with Denzel in the hospital felt so rushed, and badly paced that you feel more confusion than empathy. I felt it could’ve gone for a good hour, yet only lasts for about a half-hour. Too bad. I didn’t appreciate the producers adding Eddie Griffin as comic relief, since we’re supposed to feel for Washington’s character and his plight.
An American Rhapsody (2001)
The movie is actually very tense in the beginning as we start in black and white bringing the feel of “Schindler’s List” as we watch the young couple attempting to escape the country of Hungary. I love the emphasis on each of the characters; Tony Goldwyn is great and has great chemistry with Nastassja Kinski. We then go to color where we see the two attempting to adjust to fifties American suburban life, and they slowly do. When they get their daughter Suzanne back, it’s all the more interesting, because she not only must adjust to a new country, but to a new life and family she never knew.
Neal Bailey's Worst 5 Movies of All Time
5. Das Boot
Whether it’s the enthralling scene of the men being inspected buck naked for pubic lice, the constant phallic up and down of the sub, or the fact that the movie takes forever to get nowhere, this movie is one of my most reviled experiences. I tried to watch it no less than four times before becoming so frustrated with its banality that I returned it the day I rented it so as not to be in the same room as its crapiness.
4. Dogville
This is a nice one. I just reviewed it, actually. A four hour film about how all poor people in small towns will turn to evil, and then deserve what they get when the mafia machine guns their babies and sets the town on fire. To boot, there’s a lot of nasty rape, a cliché theater device that doesn’t work well, and an ending montage that’s so out of place I still don’t get.
3. Batman and Robin
The governator, in blue make-up, screaming, “GET THE HEROES” He also advises his associates to put them on ice. Bane, one of Batman’s most complex villains, is turned into the nuclear man. Cod pieces. Good God, cod pieces. And a Batgirl that not only looks and acts illiterate, but makes Alfred cute. Kill me if I ever watch it again.
2. Chicago
As if there isn’t enough male hate in this world, let’s make a musical that glorifies the fact that not only is it okay to kill a man if he cheats on you, but after you do, the way to get off the charge is to become as cute and adored by everyone as you can, ergo becoming an attention whore. Mr. Cellophane is a great song, but not because it’s elegant, but because it points out the critical errors of the mains. Did I also mention that this story has a song that makes it seem sexy when lawyers dance around the truth? How can I identify with any of these worthless goons?
1. Buffalo 66
This movie made me want to vomit, it sucked so hard. The first half is Christina Ricci meeting a criminal and the quest for her to get to the bathroom, the rest of the story is how it’s okay to love someone who’s a complete and utter dick. The director, when you listen to him speak, is like swallowing glass, if you ever hear him in public. The arrogant artist in repose, if you will. Watch out for this one.
The Crocodile Hunter – Collision Course (2002)
I watch the “Crocodile Hunter” television show, and to those of you people who don’t know, Steve Irwin is a professional wildlife explorer who studies vicious wildlife. Don’t be fooled by his name though, he’s more of a Crocodile preserver than hunter. I was rather curious to discover how Hollywood which has the ability to squeeze the life out of a phenomenon would handle this, and I was rather surprised. The good thing about this movie is that they don’t try to make actors out of the two explorers on which the movie focuses on.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
The sequel to the 2001 blockbuster begins where the first one last left off as the hobbits Merry and Pippin have been taken hostage by an army of Orcs, Frodo and Samwise are on the track to Mount Doom to destroy the ring and the three warriors Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimley are tracking the orcs hoping to save the two captured hobbits. Frodo and Samwise are not alone, though. They have captured a fiend that has been tracking them for days; a fiend named Gollum; an ex-hobbit who became a creature from his obsession with the ring.
Hardball (2001)
Connor O’Neil is a man out of his luck. He’s a no good gambling addict who constantly fails at his bets. He’s also got a bunch of guys after him who will stop at nothing to kill him for their money. Connor turns to a rich friend who offers to pay him 500 dollars a week if he agrees to coach an inner-city baseball team. Desperate, he agrees.