Tag Archives: Adaptation

Ranking “The Conjuring” Universe From Best to Worst

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I’m a big fan of James Wan’s “The Conjuring” movie universe as it’s one of the most effective, fascinating, and scary library of horror movies ever produced. While the legacy of Ed and Lorraine Warren is infamous, the fictional Ed and Lorraine Warren are great cinematic horror heroes, and they’ve been the center of one of the more diverse horror movie series to come along in a while. What with “The Nun 2” coming to theaters this week, I ranked the whole “The Conjuring” movie universe from the best to the worst.

Let me know how you’d rank the movies in the comments!

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The Last Voyage of The Demeter (2023)

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It’s pretty good to see at least one studio investing in transforming vampires in to relentless monsters once again after so many years where vampires have been watered down and overly fetishized. The vampires in André Øvredal’s interpretation of “The Last Voyage of The Demeter” as well as—well—Dracula in general, are not empathetic, alluring figures. They’re blank, cold and vicious monsters controlled by Dracula who is reduced to his most primal state for this re-visiting of one of the most haunting chapters in Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

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You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023)

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I imagine one day one of Adam Sandler’s daughters was having a birthday, and they mentioned something about wanting to be in the movies. Seeing as how Sandler is that kind of guy, he cracked and gave his daughters their very own movie. I’m assuming he also promised them a career too, like the Apatows. It’s sad that in a year where we were given “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.,” Sandler offers up his own version of the coming of age teen tale, except with major discrepancies.

“Are you There God? It’s Me Margaret.” was about a lower middle class teen girl trying to find her place in the world. “You Are So Not Invited…” is about an affluent upper class teen trying to—create the perfect bat mitzvah. Because heaven forbid she goes to high school with less than four friends.

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Dylan’s New Nightmare: A Nightmare on Elm Street Fan Film (2023)

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I love a good fan film. On rare occasions they can offer up interesting ideas and concepts. “Dylan’s New Nightmare” is an ambitious and interesting fan film in that its concept works for and against the final film, in the end. While the whole concept of a follow up to “New Nightmare” is a good one, it’s problematic in that: it basically feels like a proof of concept for a sequel, and “New Nightmare” isn’t canonical to the rest of the series. With “New Nightmare,” Wes Craven was holding up a magnifying glass, stepping back to examine the overwhelming expectations and pains of success.

It was also not on the timeline of Freddy Krueger, as the monster in the film was not Freddy Krueger.

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The Flash (2023) [Blu-Ray/Digital]

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“The Flash” could have and should have been this sleek, exciting, action adventure science fiction film that chronicled what is still a very appealing superhero for the modern age. Instead, with Warner Bros. help, “The Flash” is transformed in to a silly, campy, overlong chore that spends much more time on fan service than it does building an interesting character. Although The Flash is still a popular character with comic book fans, “The Flash” should have had broader appeal and a better grasp of its subject matter. Instead Andy Muschietti’s adaptation of the scarlet speedster feels like a goofy riff on “Back to the Future” time and time again.

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When Dinosaurs Ruled the 90’s

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The 1990’s were an odd time where the most unlikely of trends would just consume the pop culture climate. Sometimes the trends lasted for fifteen minutes (Swing music! Grunge Rock!), and other times they lasted the whole decade. For many that don’t remember, the concept and science of Dinosaurs experienced a wide resurgence in the 1990’s, and getting in to dinosaurs was chic for quite a time. I fondly remember just tearing through massive books of dinosaurs that my cousin lent me, and spent so much time learning about various species and classes of dinosaurs.

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DC Showcase: Blue Beetle (2021)

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Director Milo Neuman’s approach to “Blue Beetle” for this DC Showcase is pretty fin as it watches like an incarnation of the old Hanna Barbera cartoons. Think “Blue Falcon” meets “Johnny Quest” and you’re there. “Blue Beetle” takes the often under used costumed hero known as Ted Kord and runs with his concept, turning him in to something of a quipping avenger who works off of the overly serious The Question, and it’s a fun preview in to what DC isn’t but should be doing with these overlooked characters.

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