TRON: Legacy (2010)

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After the massive box office bust that was “Tron” it was surprising that Disney would ever invest in another movie from the property again. In many ways while the film was a failure, the concept was merely ahead of its time and it deserved another chance at box office gold and a fan base. Even decades after the film caught on with cult buffs and garnered a fan base, the success of another “Tron” is still in doubt and with this sequel, it’s all still a gamble. Especially in the age of cynicism where CGI epics are a dime a dozen. “Tron Legacy” isn’t so much about a game and the user that masters it as it is a son re-connecting with his dad.

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Ninja (2009)

ninja_2009_300x375_849800If you’re looking for a big hunk of eighties ham and cheese perfected by Michael Dudikoff with “American Ninja,” you have to look no further than the 2009 ham and cheese feast known as “Ninja”! From start to finish this movie is based around some of the hammiest acting I’ve ever seen and is centered on some truly cheesy storylines that have about as much originality as a Jean Claude Van Damme Movie. Hell, the little boy in me loved the whole ninja mysicism behind Scott Adkin’s starring vehicle matched with the blundering storyline that was about predictable as you can imagine if you have your eyes wide open throughout the first twenty minutes, but for all intents and purposes the Isaac Florentine actioner is not intent on being a masterpiece of action cinema.

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Aaah! Zombies!! (2007)

AaahZombiesgroup-1There’s something absolutely genius about director Matthew Kohnen’s horror comedy in which he concocts a formula that’s been done before, and yet feels absolutely brand new. We’ve seen it a thousand times: the government is devising a new toxin for war fare and before they realize it they’ve created a breeding fluid for zombified soldiers. Choosing instead to do away with it, they camouflage the chemical as baby formula and drive it off to a deserted locale. Thanks to inept truck drivers, a barrel falls off the truck and in to a local town behind a bowling alley.

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Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)

big-mommaslI love how studios assume that just because you stuff a moderately funny man like Ken Jeong in a hip moderately entertaining show like “Community,” you’re destined for comedic greatness. They thought they could work Jeong in for easy laughs in “Vampires Suck!” and they failed. And lo and behold he shows up in the first five minutes of “Big Momma’s” playing–what else–a crazy Asian man who happens to be a disgruntled postal worker. No one in “Big Momma’s” acts like an actual person you’d see on the street. No one would actually chase down and violently tussle with a mailman but hey, Martin Lawrence is grasping at straws in the final film series he really seems to be holding on to for dear life.

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How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

1-feature-pic34Young hero in the making trying to prove himself. A father who doesn’t believe in him. The bond of a young hero and his enemy. And a young anachronistic heroine who helps the hero find himself. We’ve seen it all before and then some, but thankfully with “How to Train your Dragon” is handled the formula so well, it’s almost original and unique. Almost. Dreamworks’ animated action adventure film is your classic boy and dog story, except the boy finds his man’s best friend in his purported enemy, a young dragon who forms a common ground with him in a world where humans and dragons are eternally grappling at war with one another and are told they must do battle.

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Guyver: The Complete Series (Viridian Collection) (DVD)

I’m still shocked Guyver never became a huge American film franchise. Sure, we had two films in America, but they were direct to Video dribble. The first film was nothing but schlocky camp based around lampooning the concept, and the sequel almost got it right by staging a very stern and sleek action science fiction picture that barely anyone saw.

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Transylvania Twist (1989)

6516516Along with being one of my earlier horror movie memories, Jim Wynorski’s “Transylvania Twist” also happens to be one of the earlier horror movie satires that predates “Scary Movie” by almost ten years. It lampoons the slashers of the eighties, it tackles horror movie clichés to a fine art, and even props a few music videos here and there. A mix of “Kentucky Fried Movie,” some “Monty Python,” and a dash of “Young Frankenstein,” Wynorski’s “Transylvania Twist” is an admirable and often giggle inducing attempt at spoofing the entire horror genre and the fads of the mid to late eighties by staging some raucous old fashioned television commercials (with a horror twist of course), while also positing its own plot line in the process. After a hilarious prologue involving a hapless busty traveler and three demented slasher icons getting more than they bargained for, we meet Dexter Ward, a young man who visits his dead uncle at his funeral and is shocked to discover his uncle has yet to kick the bucket.

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