Unpleasant, unfunny and uninspiring, “Hop” is so much more awful than I’d originally predicted primarily because it took my rock bottom expectations and dashed them by delivering an even worse movie than my optimism would have allowed. I had hopes for “Hop” originally, and I’d opted on giving it a fair shake, but found myself genuinely annoyed by every inch of this disingenuous holiday commercial that is about as much about the holiday as Garry Marshall’s “Valentine’s Day” was in 2010. “Hop” is such a corporate tool that it feels like upon its original conception it was marketed to Hallmark and American Greetings for the sole sake of EB.
Tag Archives: Adventure
Ninja Assassin (2009)
While I appreciate the inherent ambition behind the script written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski, any and all potential for absolute entertainment is wasted in the first fifteen minutes. Folks looking for a splatterific ninja quest will find the prologue to be one of the most grotesque and twisted openings to a ninja film. And then it goes downhill from there. It seems like the writers just aren’t happy enough with exploring the quest of ninja Raizo, but they instead want to focus on back story after meaningless back story.
Turtles Forever: Director's Cut
If you’re one of the kids who grew up during the golden age of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when they were all that any kid in their right talked about, then this form of nostalgiasploitation is one you’ll have a damn good time with. For anyone hoping to re-live their youth while also looking in to what the current incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are up to, the best form of marketing for all the audiences of this franchise comes in the form of “Turtles Forever,” a reality bending, genre twisting mini-movie that works as a satire on the eighties series, a tribute to the current incarnation and a respectful nod to the classic Turtles.
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
In the past three years there has been a boom in versus films. And that’s primarily attributed to the boom of the direct to DVD industry that relies solely on gimmicks and plagiarism to fuel its economy and one of the primary cash cows of the market is the versus gimmick. We’ve seen every monster fight every warrior this side of folklore and what we see with “Battle Los Angeles” is pretty much soldiers versus aliens. In fact with less money and star power, Jonathan Liebesman’s film could very well have been titled “Aliens vs. Soldiers,” a roughneck balls to the wall action science fiction film that just doesn’t try too hard to bring us in close to its characters.
Drive Angry (2011)
Who knows why a movie about the lone ranger from hell flopped in 2011? No one will ever know. I attribute it to the lack of big name draw and exhaustion with Nic Cage from general movie audiences, but nevertheless, “Drive Angry” is an ambitious and admirably raucous grindhouse throwback that takes the battle of heaven and hell and brings it to planet Earth where a dad comes back from hell to keep his daughter from going to the stomping grounds of Satan. “Drive Angry” is a movie that… well, it’s a movie. It’s a movie that is there and it has no idea who the hell it’s supposed to be marketed to.
Paul (2011)
As an unofficial capper to the pop culture bash that has been “Shaun of the Dead,” and “Hot Fuzz,” I wish I could bring greater tidings to fans of Pegg and Frost who anxiously awaited their third foray in to another genre adventure, but as it stands “Paul” is merely an okay movie. It’s not the worst comedy of the year, but it’ll far from be remotely remembered as the supreme comedy the gentlemen Nick Frost and Simon Pegg partook in. “Paul” feels like a watered down dose of Edgar Wright fare and unfortunately without him in the equation, this third outing as a team doesn’t entirely succeed as a comedy.
Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996)
Before “South Park” and before “Jackass” Beavis and Butt Head treaded ground, first. They had commentary about aimlessness of our American educational system, they had gimmicks that made them iconic cartoon characters, and surely enough they indulged in pranks that were often so grotesque they should have been their own show. But most importantly they were funny and if you were around during the nineties, you can fondly remember seeing Beavis and Butthead everywhere. They were the source of all evil in the world next to Bart Simpson, and threatened to turn children in to raping thieving morons who would destroy the world. And while they were half right, Beavis and Butt head were stereotyped mainly because they were animated characters.