What can you do to royally piss me off? Cast three of the stupidest most untalented people in Hollywood in a remake. Yes, that’s right earning of a smack across the face. Take a Jack ass who is a Jack ass, a one-hit wonder, and a singer whose talents are in her sweater, and you have “The Dukes of Hazzard,” a cleaned up, PC spoof of the actual show that preceded it, that can never tell whether its taking itself seriously, or as a general satire of hillbillies.
Tag Archives: Adventure
Transporter 2 (2005)
I’ll admit, I was not a fan of “The Transporter.” Granted, I’m a big fan of Jason Statham, the man drips bad-ass whenever he’s on-screen, but as far as “The Transporter” went, it just wasn’t that good. This sequel however, is something I truly enjoyed. It’s better than the original, and obviously, it’s a big plus, because I want to like these movies. This sequel attempts to add more humanity to Frank, while dispensing of any annoying sidekicks, so this time, he has no women who follow him around, and he has no assistants to dispense with the one-liners. Frank, as a favor to a friend, has agreed to drive around a child on his spare time. He picks the young boy up from school and drives him around for his parents. He’s also managed to bond with him, as you’d guess.
Sky High (2005)
I’m a sucker for a good tale about superheroes and the learning of their abilities and so on. I admit that. I love a good superhero tale, and that’s why I didn’t completely dislike “Sky High,” because beneath its Disney muck, it’s actually a pretty fun tale about living up to your parents and the pressures of it. Michael Angarano is Will, the only son of a suburban couple who happen to be the world’s strongest superheroes. Ahem—they met during a battle and fell in love, and now are a team. “The Incredibles,” you say? Well, yes, but I just plain enjoyed Kurt Russell as a somewhat demented working class father who encourages his son to take up the family business. “Sky High” is busy, it’s colorful, and it will keep its target audience watching with a smile.
Crank (2006)
I know someone in Hollywood got a hold of a concept for a video game called “Crank,” and thought that this was too good to be some stupid old video game. So, they made it into a movie. Because “Crank” is essentially set up like a video game. Our hero gets up, watches a video that lays out the plot, and now he has to find the people who wronged him. In order to stop the poison, get epinephrine.
Level two: Get Epinephrine. Find the villain’s brother.
Level three: Find him and fight him. Keep your heart rate up.
Level Four: Steal a police cycle and drive as fast as you can before your heart slows down; avoid pedestrians and environment. The mob is after you now that you’re alive and may go after your girlfriend.
Tomb Hackers (2003)
Director Anthony Thurman’s film “Tomb Hackers” is a fun short animated film about the misadventures of two explorers who find themselves getting deeper and deeper in trouble as they venture in search of a fortune. The gags in Thurman’s film are mostly hit and miss with some gags that don’t really hit the mark, but when the gags hit they’re very funny.
Accepted (2006)
I’ll say I had zero expectations in regards to “Accepted”, mainly because it looked so ridiculous, and vapid. And it is, but I enjoyed it, because it provides a very entertaining ninety minutes that starts out as a typical college comedy and transforms into a somewhat interesting social commentary. And it’s funny as hell. I like Justin Long a lot, I’ve liked him since “Jeepers Creepers” and in “Accepted”, he’s funny as a quasi-Ferris Bueller named Bartleby Gaines who has slacked off through high school, and to prevent breaking it to his family that he can’t get into any schools, he instead invents a school which then snowballs into a grand hoax.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Bobby is a boy who dreams of becoming a racer, and when he finally gets the chance, he becomes one of the most popular racers in the industry. That is until he has a break down after a crash and now must rebuild what was taken away from him. Ferrell’s foray into adult comedy once again is a weak and mediocre one, and for every one hilarious joke that “Talladega Nights” hits with audiences, there are about four or five that really fail to be as funny as it could be. McKay’s film is too aware of itself, and instead of playing it deadpan while delivering the gags and jokes, it desperately tries to gauge laughs from the audience, including every such nuance and quirk it can just to assure itself that we’ll laugh.