Though, I can respect Mr. Cube for wanting to think outside the box, someone never told him that a disgruntled man around bratty kids is not. If Cube wanted to think outside the box, he should have thought in the lines of independent film, or documentary. But then, this is the man that starred in the “Friday” films, so it’s all relative. Cube who has his own production company has yet to turn out anything original and this is never really any different.
I kind of liked “The Mask”. I mean granted, it’s weak, but it’s fun, and for some odd reason we have the sequel and we’re forced to lay our eyes on: “Son of the Mask” based on the compiled works of Arthur Miller–just kidding. Yeah, you can pretty much guess where this lame-brained sequel is going, but I’ll spell it out for you because this plot is extremely esoteric. Yeah, I’m laughing too. Hey, I’m a big movie snob, and I admit it, but this goes beyond snobbery, this film (I use the term loosely) speaks to your common sense.
As if “Titanic” wasn’t worse enough, now we have to go back and re-visit it for what reason? Tell me, Mr. Cameron. He never explains to us why he’s documenting a voyage to the bottom of the sea to look at the Titanic yet again. My theory is that he’s still riding on the success from it so he milked this cow one last time, but what’s the point of this mission? Is someone going to study this and say “Yes, the titanic sure did sink after all, and even better People actually did die!” Well, thanks for reminding me, I wasn’t sure if the the titanic sinking was actually an event that happened in history or if it was fictional like the NASA launch.
“Cold Mountain” wants to be grand. Oh how Minghella wants it to be a grandiose civil war epic, this generation’s “Gone with the Wind”, but sadly, it will never reach those heights, and throughout the running time it never reached those heights because it is such a short-sighted piece of filmmaking, it could never reach the possible limits that Minghella wanted it to. After viewing this, it was plainly obvious this was so utterly manufactured for Oscar, it was nauseating. But “Cold Mountain” is not underwhelming because of that fact, it’s underwhelming simply because it’s so utterly short-sighted in its stories and characters.
I find it’s very hard to display any sense of malice or distaste for something like “Pooh’s Heffalump Movie” which is so harmless and adorable in its presentation with simple animation and such an uncomplicated story. It’s the closest thing to quality for me that Disney’s created in years. Disney’s creativity and imagination has all but diminished over the years, except for when it applied to “Winnie the Pooh” and its many spin-offs. Though Christopher Robin is all but MIA in this film (appearing in the credits briefly), “Pooh’s Heffalump Movie” is still a very entertaining and guilt-free story about friendship that often echoes “The Fox and the Hound” except less heartbreaking.
Believe it or not, I was hopeful for the remake of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. While I was never a fan of Tim Burton (I’ve always considered him over rated), I was hoping Burton’s take on the story would be entertaining and very amusing, but alas, Burton botches yet another remake. For those whom may not remember, Burton completely botched the remake of “Planet of the Apes” which went from a thought provoking allegory about society to a dumbed down teen science fiction film. Now, granted, I did give it a good review, it was based mostly on the cast and make up.
Either way, don’t believe the excuses of the hardcore Burton fan boys, this is a remake in every sense of the word, but Burton goes in the hall of fame of directors whom just couldn’t top the original masterpiece.
Going in to pissed off fan boy mode in 3, 2, 1: So, here’s a history lesson in case you wanted it or not. Elektra, pre-Hollywoodization, was a beautiful but incredibly vicious warrior. She had depth, and personality and humanity, and was forced to turn against her beliefs when Bullseye, the psychotic killer murdered her beloved father in front of her eyes. Elektra blamed Daredevil for not helping when he could have and trained with the Hand to become a warrior. She returned to stalk Daredevil and fell in love with him. She was killed at the hands of Bullseye and returned as an undead warrior, more vicious than ever. All of this made possible by Frank Miller.