This list is ranked by my most favorite to my least favorite, and regardless of my feelings for each film, all have the utterly amazing score from master John Williams to show for it.
Tag Archives: Adventure
The Girl Next Door (2004)
I actually liked this movie. It won’t win awards, and I will not spend any money on it, but for a good time I suggest you check this out. If you’re a guy. Usually the casting of a hot girl to distract me never works, but here, looking at Elisha Cuthbert, I just couldn’t help but dismiss the flaws. And there were plenty of flaws. Elisha Cuthbert is really hot. She has this amazing face and unbelievable body, she’s just not human, and that was the saving grace for me with this movie. Watching her parade herself back and forth was amazing and she won me over completely. And then there’s Timothy Olyphant who plays sleazy porno director Kelly, who proves to be quite an obstacle and nemesis for Hirsch’s character. Olyphant is entertainingly over the top in this film, with all the usual clichés with spiky hair, a menacing grim, and sleaze galore.
Home on the Range (2004)
“Home on the Range” is a sign post, it’s a sign post up ahead the reads the basic end of Disney. What once was a company that gave us “The Lion King” and “Bambi” now gives us crap like “Lilo and Stitch”, their direct to video sequels of their classic films, and–this. I wanted to like “Home on the Range”, I really did, I was expecting at best an entertaining animated film that was a guilty pleasure, and even that doesn’t pull off my expectations at all. I was so disappointed after liking the pictures of the animated characters that I saw, but, man, this is a lame movie. The animation is very reminiscent of masters such as Tex Avery, Chuck Jones, and Bob McKimson, the era where cartoons were actually good and funny, does anyone remember that?
Blade: Trinity (2004)
This review is being written at a good time for me, not only because I dug the last two Blade films, but because of the lawsuit Wesley Snipes has just waged on the studios about this movie. Snipes is a known diva, if you’ve read the past issues of “Fangoria” and “Starlog”, though his co-stars and director Goyer don’t openly admit it, Snipes is known for being a diva, and now he seeks retribution for a movie he claims he didn’t want to make, for starring along side people he didn’t want to star with being directed by a director who he says was forced on him. Regardless, I didn’t think “Blade 3” would live up to the first two. People often say there’s hardly any sequels that are as good as the first film, but I have something better for you. How many second sequels are better than the first film?
Spirited Away (Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi) (2001)
“Spirited Away” has had the unfortunate distinction of being compared to “Alice in Wonderland”, and while they bear similarities in themes, characters, and oddities, but Miyazaki’s animated tale is highly superior. Miyazaki takes us into an incredible land of creatures, landscapes and spooky villains, along the injecting truly heartfelt emotions, and thematic undertones. Miyazaki’s animation and storytelling bear an aspect sorely missing in American animated films, which heart, and true sincerity. Chihiro and her parents are on the way to their new home, and while driving they stumble upon a weird tunnel. Curious, they enter the tunnel and end up in a magical field and begin journeying into a village. But when Chihiro discovers her parents have been turned into pigs, she finds that there may be no going back where came from.
New York Minute (2004)
Why anyone would still find the Olsen Twins even remotely appealing is still beyond me, unless you find spoiled, rotten, rich girls appealing, then perhaps they’re for you. Luckily, “New York Minute” was a flop and I had a good laugh, but let’s face it, they laughed all the way to the bank. It’s clear judging by the movie that the Olsen’s have zero talent, and they prove just because you can buy yourself into a movie doesn’t mean you should be in one. Nonetheless, this is not a movie to be taken seriously even by someone as uptight about movies as me, but as harmless as this tries to be, you can’t also escape the fact this is a basic rip-off of “Ferris Bueller”, a much much better movie with an actual believable premise, where as this is basically driven on the vanity of the Olsen twins.
Kaena: The Prophecy (2003)
Ultimately, I wanted to like this movie. I really, really wanted to love it, on the contrary, but damn it, I just couldn’t, because Within twenty minutes of the movie I had this very grim sour look on my face and I was just so disappointed. Judging by the trailer and pictures from Entertainment Weekly I thought this would be great, I love fantasy, I love the genre of it, but this just wasn’t anything good. Forgettable, and just plain bleak, too bleak for a child’s cartoon. Not even teenage boys are going to like this, and the reason is it’s just so damn confusing.