The Moleman of Belmont Avenue (2013)

molemanI can appreciate what the director of “The Moleman…” is going for, but with his indie horror comedy, it often felt like a misfire in every sense. The DVD cover is quick to compare this to “Shaun of the Dead,” but while they were losers, they were at least likable. It’s really tough to empathize or root for two main characters who lure an old man to dinner to have him be eaten by the mole man, or are so stupid they leave a box of kittens in the trunk of their car and accidentally suffocate them all. I should be rooting for them, the script says, but in reality I just found them to be complete morons.

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Monday Movie Pause: Die Hard 12: Die Hungry

It’s hard to believe that most of us likely found humor in this sketch from “The Ben Stiller Show” because we didn’t think the “Die Hard” movie series would go beyond three parts. Oh boy how wrong we were. How wrong we were.

In either case, this hilarious spoof of the “Die Hard” movies is so accurate, it’s kind of depressing. But still so damn funny.

Nurse Diary: Wicked Finger (Kangofu nikki: Itazura na yubi) (1979) (DVD)

nursediaryAt barely seventy minutes long, the newest Nikkatsu Erotic Films release “Nurse Diary: Wicked Finger” is less Asian erotica and more Asian melodrama. Young gorgeous Ryoko (Etsuko Hara) is having an affair with her boss at the bospital. He is next in line to become the chief of medicine, and in an effort to escape the nurses dorm she inhabits, she moves in to her own apartment.

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Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)

jasonlivesOddly enough out of the entire series in “Friday the 13th,” Part Six entitled “Jason Lives” is easily my favorite. It’s flawed, the production quality kind of sucks, and there are plot holes, but damn it, it’s fun! You have to love how the deputy drops a bunch of cartons of food without food in them. And Jason being re-animated like Frankenstein is on par with Freddy Krueger being re-animated by the urine of a stray dog. It’s just fun and creepy Jason Voorhees doing what he does best. And he even slays a credit card handling yuppy, to boot. Take that, mid-eighties America!

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The Amazing Bulk (2010)

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The only way I can come to grips with the fact that “The Amazing Bulk” actually exists is that someone on the cast or crew needed to pay off their gambling debts for a violent loan shark. They were faced with paying off their debts but couldn’t really afford it. So, in order to prevent getting hurt or murdered, they whipped together a movie out of Windows 95 clip art, Microsoft Paint, an old HD camera someone owned, and a lot of green screens in under a week at the director’s loft somewhere in California. They were able to get it out on the market to pay their debts, and now we’re stuck with this festering pile of unwatchable crap called “The Amazing Bulk.”

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Captain Battle: Legacy War (2013)

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Every time I think there isn’t a studio as shameless as The Asylum, someone inevitably steps forward and proves me completely wrong. “Captain Battle” is about a star spangled super soldier who fights the Nazis during the war adapted from a public domain character who is already a Captain America knock off. It’s not Captain America. Repeat. It’s not Captain America. From the makers of the cinematic masterpiece “The Amazing Bulk,” this complete and utter rip off of a certain star spangled superhero is so shameless, Marvel should sue only for how inept the movie is.

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The Big Bang Theory: The Complete Sixth Season (DVD)

TBBT6One of the funniest and most popular sitcoms on television is back with its sixth season, probably one of the most realized and unique seasons of the hit series. After wisely adjusting its formula about four geeks and the hot girl next door, “The Big Bang Theory” slowly became an ensemble series about four geeky guys and the women that love them in spite of their odd obsessions. “The Big Bang Theory” is as funny as ever, and despite criticism from “fan boys” on the net, still a ratings juggernaut that promises to continue into ten seasons.

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