Tag Archives: Comedy

Hook (1991)

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Say what you want about “Hook.” Many people do. And many movie fans love it because it’s been a part of their childhood. Those who didn’t have the fortune of watching “Hook” as a child consider the 1991 Peter Pan throwback to be a gaudy Spielberg misfire dripping with sap. By virtue of nostalgia, “Hook” is still great. But as a fan of JM Barrie’s “Peter Pan” novel, and the mythos in general, “Hook” is a solid effort, that still manages to pack in the entertainment at all corners. True, it’s by no means a mastepiece with cloying acting by most of the child stars, and some odd casting. I mean, bringing aboard Robin Williams as the dashing Neverland warrior is still poor casting, and while Williams does his best, the movie suffers with him on board.

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Bikini Round-Up (2005)

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ACIcBPgAs softcore schlock goes, director Fred Olen Ray’s wild west romp is only sub-par, and not as entertaining as his previous bikini films. I mean how do you film a girl on girl on girl scene without even showing any of them chewing on rug? Hell, in one moment Beverly Lynne and Nicole Sheridan literally begin fighting over Belinda Gavin’s betweens, but we never actually see any of the good stuff. But I digress. While “Bikini Round Up” is just sub-par, what I really enjoy about the movie is that everything, from top to bottom is implied.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986)

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From what I’ve read, Tobe Hooper pretty much had to make a sequel to his masterpiece “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” in order to make films he wanted. And the sequel to his slasher classic is exactly the type of film Hooper has to make, It’s forced, tired, and a complete retread of the original film. To add to the utter lack of entertainment value, there’s even plots that are completely unresolved or unfinished that I would have enjoyed seeing explored expanded just to give this film the feeling that it was an extension of the first film rather than just a retread.

In spite of the family hiding in the outskirts of Texas and hunting travelers for meals, now we learn that the head of their family is a local celebrity thanks to his entering of his prize winning chili and wonderful meat that he keeps a secret. Dennis Hopper is Lefty, a mysterious cowboy hunting the cannibal family and trying to uncover their secrets and put an end to their chaos. And in the opening the two unlucky schmucks that get killed by Leatherface are dismissed as accidents, in spite of one of the two getting his head sawed off. Nothing is ever really expanded or realized beyond these nuggets of ideas.

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Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In [Paperback]

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“Women should never be judged by their personal appearance. They Should be Judged by the Size of their Hooters.”  – Joe Bob’s Rules to Live By

It’s easy to see why John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs would arouse the ire of pretty much everyone in the South. He is not a writer that’s intent on being politically correct, nor does he really pull his punches with his reviews.

He refers to women only as bimbos, he calls men turkeys, he has an article devoted to Steven Spielberg and his “wimpy” movies, he bashes Gene Shallit, he mocks Moustapha Akkad for being an ayrab, and he calls people who perfer to go to indoor movies rather than drive-ins, folks too poor to afford cars.

But that’s all apart of the character of Joe Bob Briggs. Rather than writing a Drive-In report as John Bloom, writer Bloom created Joe Bob Briggs, a Southern gent who is politically incorrect, offends at every turn, and has a deep passion for the drive-in.

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They Live (Collector’s Edition) [Blu-ray]

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Roddy Piper always seemed like an unusual choice for the role of Nada in John Carpenter’s “The Live” to me. Especially considering the film itself is less an action thriller, and more of a science fiction film that slowly elevates its horror when you consider how much this world reflects our own. The aliens themselves aren’t so much extra terrestrials, but are just us. They’re unrecognizable because they’ve submitted themselves to the decadence and subliminal commands of their overlords. The people that have chosen to act with them are akin to the Jews who chose to ally themselves with the Nazis. They’re slimy, but they’re acting on survival. The aliens have found a way to destroy society from the inside out, and we don’t actually realize it until we break the status quo and put on sunglasses.

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The Ten Worst Movies Ever Aired on TNT's Monstervision

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“Monstervision” ran for five years here in the US on the TNT cable station late on Saturdays and Fridays. Often times you could find it at midnight, but often it would be on late in the night thanks to whatever sports game or special TNT decided to air that night. Joe Bob Briggs is one of the last gasps of great cable television where he migrated from The Movie Channel to TNT to hose “Monstervision” for many years. During that time, he hosted many movies of the cult variety, and some mainstream stuff, mostly due to TNT’s demands. Though the show was called “Monstervision” Briggs was pretty much obligated to air movies like “Love Potion No. 9,” and “Twins” while Briggs was able to mostly air his kind of movies like “Shaft,” “From Beyond,” and “The Return of the Living Dead.” Throughout the span of the series, Monstervision aired some truly terrible movies that could only be appreciated with commercial breaks for the sake of the audiences sanity. And Briggs’. These are ten of the worst movies ever aired on Monstervision.

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Zombieland: The Series

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KRYnaQJ“Zombieland” seeks to be the antidote for folks still clamoring for a zombie television series, but hate the drama and politics of “The Walking Dead.” Where as Robert Kirkman’s pop culture smash is more of an adult take, “Zombieland” takes all of the best road trip movies and adds some zombies for good measure. Folks claiming this is an attempt to market off of “The Walking Dead” are half right. Originally “Zombieland” was pitched to every studio as a weekly series, but when it was turned down left and right, it was transformed in to a horror comedy feature film that would hopefully transform in to a movie series. When Woody Harrelson pulled out of ever playing hero Tallahassee again while stars Emma Watson and Jessie Eisenberg’s careers took off, the hopes of having a “Zombieland” movie series collapses.

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