10. The Lake House
Yet another cheesy marketing ploy. Watch the cardboard cut out and America’s Sweetheart who hasn’t had a hit in years team again to star in one of the stupidest most absurd romance dramas ever made. A man communicates with a woman through a mailbox that can travel two years into the future. Why such a weird number? Who knows. Regardless, the time differences are barely noticable, the entire film is soapy, and the mailbox becomes an irrelevant plot device in the second half as suddenly, these two get the power to change time to fit their romance. Goody. Correction: Crappy.
Tag Archives: Comedy
The Roost (2004)
What are bats? Flying rats who shit on you while flying off. What is “The Roost”? A flying piece of shit. Same difference, don’t you think? Actually, when I finished “The Roost,” I think watching seventy minutes of stock footage with bats would have been much more thrilling than Ti West’s horror indie. I can just imagine the brain storming for this junk with West trying to sell it:
Producer: So, what’s it about?
West: Four people on the road…
Producer: Oh god.
West: Discover an abandoned farm house.
Producer: Oh geez.
West: Will you let me finish?
Producer: Fine.
West: They discover an abandoned farm house, and are attacked by ravenous bats!
Producer: Okay…?
West: And they flutter, and tear your face apart! Gah!
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The Ringer (2005)
I liked “The Ringer.” I liked it a lot. Because, in spite of the jack ass from “Jackass” starring, and the potential for a complete cheapening of the Special Olympics, every opportunity this film had to spit in our faces, it didn’t. The controversy behind this was pointless. Because, in spite of the previews, “The Ringer” really isn’t a cheap comedy. The mentally disabled pictured here are not comedy props for fart jokes, and they’re not caricatures, or objects to laugh at. I just didn’t understand the controversy behind “The Ringer.” Maybe it was bad press for the sake of hype, or perhaps just more morons making a fuss over a film they haven’t seen just yet, but when I was finished, I didn’t see the big deal. It’s not just some shitty comedy from Tom Green, and it didn’t warrant any sort of hype in the end.
Doogal (2006)
“Doogal” is basically representative of everything that’s wrong with CGI animation. Everyone is out to be as hip as possible and mimic the success of “Shrek,” that they lose touch with story, characterization, and plot elements the audience can enjoy. I always tend to give the animated films the benefit of the doubt and half the time I’m rewarded. “Doogal” was punishment. It has all the basic principles of a kid’s film but no idea how to get in touch with the heart animation should have. There’s the rabbit Jimmy Fallon singing “You Really Got Me,” and the leader of the land watching the landscape while “It’s Magic” blares in the background. By the time the eighteenth pop culture reference was spewed out in the first ten minutes, I was ready to pack it in.
Raptor Quest [Web Series]
“You don’t throw a raptor at someone’s fucking face!”
Bill Whirity and Bill Palmer who directed the pretty good “Broke,” and the great short film “Zombie Island,” now takes another dip with his crew in the world of online series. The pitch? Whirity and his crew are attempting to create a dinosaur movie. They really want to make this movie. And yet have a zero budget. How do you make an epic dinosaur movie without any money? Most of all, how do you create a dinosaur film when you don’t even know what the plot is? Well, that’s the conundrum the crew of “Raptor Quest” are trying to explore.
Fei ying (Silver Hawk) (2004)
The audience for “Silver Hawk,” will be split in two groups. One group will despise it for being the usual fluffy science fiction blockbuster malarkey, while the other group will enjoy it for the guilty action and camp. And you can’t really blame either for their thoughts. Michelle Yeoh’s actioner “Silver Hawk,” makes no bones about itself. It’s a really ridiculous and utterly moronic action film. You can see that by the fact that only within a minute the action begins without much preamble to recollect. Silver Hawk leaps over a bridge on her motorcycle and gets to work. Like a “Matrix” fan girl, Lulu Wong is a vigilante who, with her silver outfit, sneaks around stealthily, dons some odd sunglasses, and kicks the asses of anyone who dare confronts her during a mission.
Just Friends (2005)
Director Roger Kumble is wise enough to allow Ryan Reynolds to go hog wild in displaying his talent for slapstick and silly comedy. Reynolds has always had a talent for comedy, except he’s always been restrained such as films like “Van Wilder.” In “Just Friends” he seems to be allowed to go as ridiculous as he wants, and manages to derive a ton of laughs, with mere facial expressions and delivery of one-liners. From there mere opening shot of a young version of the film’s character singing in to a mirror, except grossly overweight and donning curly hair, is an instant laugh grabber, and Reynolds doesn’t seem to let up throughout the movie.