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Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

advinbabysittingIf there’s anyone who can play a dreamy babysitter seemingly pulled out of a fantasy, it’s Elisabeth Shue. She has the girl next door appeal with the extraordinary beauty that makes her such an interesting heroine in Chris Columbus’ small classic adventure. The 1987 comedy is about as unique as it gets, spawning a bunch of imitators, none of whom can really live up to the enthusiasm and comic timing that Shue, Keith Coogan, and Maia Brewton manage to in a little under eighty minutes time.

Shue plays dreamy eyed Chris Parker, a high school senior in a relationship she doesn’t realize is going South. When she’s let down by her long time boyfriend, she is tasked with babysitting the children of her parents’ friends. Both kids bring their own obstacles to the table for Chris, but her mundane night goes awry when Chris’ best friend Megan is stuck in a bus station, and needs to be picked up. What begins as a simple errand run, transforms in to an all night series of misadventures, prompting Chris to muster up courage, strength, and patience, all the while enduring her young charges.

Along the way, Columbus and writer David Simkins keep “Adventures in Babysitting” brisk and entertaining, offering up a lot of extraordinary scenarios our characters have to seemingly battle out of. Things seem to only get worse for Chris and her group as they also become the target of a ring of car thieves after they accidentally steal a “Playboy” filled with their top secret notes. Simkins writing is raucously fun, always skirting the line between an R rating and a G rating.

The more humorous dangerous encounters are almost always skirting the rating, right down to a gang war that involves a stabbing and Chris having to literally make a stand if she hopes to get everyone off of the train without being killed. Though there is a healthy dose of menace injected, “Adventures in Babysitting” is classic eighties fodder that’s just all out raucous fun for a broad audience. Columbus is never afraid to go off the wall and as a result delivers one very unique and entertaining comedy that has yet to be duplicated.

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Dirty Grandpa (2016)

DirtyGrandpaI would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the pitch meeting with DeNiro for “Dirty Grandpa”: “And so Efron comes to pick you up, and you’re lying there on your recliner masturbating in the nude to interracial porn! He screams in horror while you’re ejaculating, but you’re so cool about it, that you barely acknowledge the awkwardness. The kids will love it!” I appreciate that Robert DeNiro seems to be actively working against being typecast as some wise old grandpa or magical elderly sage.

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Sun, Sand and Sweat 4 Movie Set [2 Blu-ray]

sunsweatandsandIf you’re in the market for some summer time comedy filled with raunch, eighties madness, gratuitous nudity, and a bunch of aspiring movie stars or future movie stars like Johnny Depp, and Jamie Lee Curtis, Mill Creek has the four movie line up for your pleasure. Now on Blu-Ray, these are four of the most terrible and yet entertaining movies of the eighties for economic movie collectors.

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Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)

neighbors2I liked “Neighbors” for what it tried to accomplish, but in the end it wasn’t a complete home run. Considering five people worked on it, “Neighbors 2” is a shockingly superior follow up to the original 2014 comedy. While it is, in essence, a cash in, it’s also a much more socially relevant comedy that offers interesting ideas and commentary about equality of the sexes, and how the deck is stacked against young women in society. “Neighbors 2” doesn’t get preachy, but it does provide audiences with a glimpse at how young women are much more objectified and taken for granted than younger men.

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Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

FerrisBuellerI think one of the main reasons why “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” has become such a classic, even thirty years later, is that Ferris Bueller is that character we wish we could be. Many of us have always dreamed of ignoring life’s responsibilities and obligations if only for one day, and Ferris has the guts to act on his desire. This is a guy who is working hard against becoming just another doting workaday suburbanite like his parents. And somewhere down the road, he might even become his best friend Cameron, a guy ruled by his fear and insecurity.

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How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town (2016)

howtoplanIt’s pretty remarkable how so many good actors can be in such a sub-par unfunny situation comedy. It’s also pretty surprising how a movie centered around sex and orgies really ends about as blandly and vanilla as pound cake. “How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town” is yet another of those slice of life dramas, where a city bound thirty something protagonist goes back to their old town to re-visit the ghosts of their past and discover something about themselves. We saw it in “Garden State,” “Beautiful Girls,” “Junebug,” and about a hundred other dramas since the early nineties.

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You Have to See This! Roller Boogie (1979)

It’s really charming how much confidence UA Pictures seems to place on the fad of roller disco. I’m assuming what with the implentation of the disco scene for John Badham’s “Saturday Night Fever,” I guess someone naturally assumed UA Pictures could market on that success by featuring a coming of age drama in the same vein but with roller disco. The problem with “Roller Boogie,” though is that while it aspires for bigger things, the film falls squarely in the middle of mediocrity. “Roller Boogie” is not a bad film, nor is it a terribly cheesy one like “Breakin’.” It’s merely a depiction of a dance fad that didn’t have a real staying power, and the gimmick isn’t used to tell a very compeling tale when all is said and done.

Not even Mark Lester could breathe a sense of life or energy behind his film, as it suffers from too much plot and a narrative that’s much too formulaic for a film with the pretense of originality. That’s a shame since Linda Blair is a very solid actress who can pull off the girl next door protagonist whenever she really wants to. Considering the film is more for teens, Blair never really sheds her clothing, but that doesn’t stop her from running around in tight tank tops, hot pants, and short skirts. Blair’s own sex appeal drowns out anything else the movie tries to push in terms of character or sub-plot, and she only comes out ahead slightly above everyone else. Blair is Terry, a young privileged teenager who is on her way to college.

rollerboogie1She is a gifted classical musician whose posh parents have gotten her in to an upscale college but, woe is her, she wants to be a roller disco dancer. Apparently there’s a massive population of roller disco dancers in California and on the boardwalk. They travel in packs and perform tricks for tourists while riding to their every day jobs, and Terry wants anxiously to be a part of it all. Bobby James is a fast talking hustler who is also the best roller disco dancer of them all and Terry hires him to teach her all of the best dance moves and skills.

Meanwhile, Terry wants to garner her affection and become her boyfriend while teaching her how to master dance moves on roller skates. The writers also feature a sub-plot involving Bobby’s group of friends which never has a major impact on the overall resolution of the film.

rollerboogie2The main crux of the movie is that the roller disco club Jammers is being strong armed out of business by local thugs, and the owner of the club has decided to retire. The roller disco crew want to keep it opened, though, and decide to band together to help the owner. Because disco is forever, baby! Most of the film is centered around the relationship between Terry and Bobby, and how Terry is so not your normal rich girl. She loves him, then hates him, then loves him, and then loves him more because he wants her for her body and not her money.

“Roller Boogie” wouldn’t be so bad if it managed to dig up an interesting storyline and wasn’t so concerned with being more of a safe drama comedy, with dancers suddenly banding together to save their favorite hang out and battling evil land owners. It’s such a dull premise considering there could have been so much more developed around a fascinating form of dance. Look at “Roll Bounce,” a movie about roller disco that happens to be pretty fun since it draws an interesting conflict and channels the vibe of the seventies so much better.

rollerboogie3Here it’s less about the dancing and more about Terry rebelling against her upper crest wealth family. Which contradicts the tone as a whole since Lester spends a lot of time with montages of the roller disco dancers doing what they do best. For a film a little under two hours, if director Lester didn’t spend so much time filming various dancers flipping and rolling around the film would be much more compact and easier to endure. Lester has a clear idea of how to spotlight the unique dance form, but the writers have absolutely nothing to do with it. Terry wants to rebel, then she falls for her trainer, then she teams up with the other dancers to save her favorite club and there’s a very rushed climactic dance competition. Of course Terry and Bobby win the contest easily, since the lack of minorities in this movie is more frightenin than “Hell Night,” but that’s a whole other topic altogether. If anything, at least “Roller Boogie” sports a neat disco soundtrack, including a prominent playing of “Boogie Wonderland.”

rollerboogie4Plus there’s Lester’s nigh endless footage of dancers rolling around and flipping begins to feel like a documentary, screeching any attempt at momentum with the narrative to a grinding halt. With director Mark L. Lester directing, and Blair starring, you assume we’d have an instant classic on our hands, but “Roller Boogie” isn’t anything remotely special. It’s so plainly bland and forgettable, I’d just about forgotten everything I’d seen when the credits rolled. The movie is barely at the level of “Xanadu” concerning cheese and kitsch value, which doesn’t bode well for star Blair who likely hoped this would skyrocket her as a bonafide leading lady for more youth oriented films.

It’s too bad, too, considering Blair is a solid actress with a girl next door appeal that makes her worth watching in other kinds of films that aren’t horror oriented. And let’s face it, the only reason to watch “Roller Boogie” is because of Blair who looks insanely sexy during her performance and is pretty much off the charts in hotness.

Mark L. Lester’s goofy attempt to market on the Roller Disco craze is a very non-threatening and silly movie whose main crime is being so utterly forgettable. It’s not one of the worst movies ever made, but it also never achieves heights of cult infamy like “Xanadu” and “Staying Alive.” It’s just a brutally mediocre and middling sport drama comedy that you’ll forget about, even in spite of the incredibly vivacious Lindar Blair starring.