Well, it’s safe to say, that at no point in this review will you see the word “good” describing this movie, unless you see the sentence “Good god, what a piece of crap”, or “Good god, why?!” “You Got Served” tries to capitalize off of break dancing and free styling, while attempting to create its own moneymaking properties and crazes, case in point, the phrase “You Got Served.” What this film’s main problem is that everything about it is feels so artificial. It feels like an hour and forty minute infomercial for two really crappy music bands whose fifteen minutes ended years ago. Not even the mindless marketing tools MTV could fuel a film that had nothing to go by except a lot of flash and dash and no brains. It seems like casting agents just took a lot of the actors from the WB network and dropped them into the film and made it feel like it’s trying to get across that these characters are really from the ghetto.
Tag Archives: Crime
Walking Tall (2004)
Chris Vaughn is an ex military veteran who has just returned to his home town. Back after eight years, he suddenly gets a crash course in learning the fact that you can never go home again, and now he walks tall and carries a big stick. Dwayne Johnson jumps into the seat of action hero yet again this time around, first with the crappy “Scorpion King”, the next with the wicked “The Rundown” and now with this very good action ride known as “Walking Tall”. A remake of the cult classic “Walking Tall”, and based on the true story of the utterly heroic feats of sheriff Buford Pusser, a man who was elected to sheriff after promising to clean up crime, and did so, taking down big time crime syndicates and corruption in his hometown of Tennessee with his giant wooden club.
Torque (2004)
Why anyone would want to rip off “The Matrix” is understandable; it was a very influential movie that paved the way for a lot of really bad, and mediocre rip-offs to come for years that I would inevitably have to suffer through, but why anyone would want to rip-off “The Fast and the Furious”, a mediocre action popcorn flick fueled (no pun intended) only by Vin Diesel’s pecks and some good effects is a stunner. Like many have said, dumb studio execs tend to confuse high grosses with film quality and what “The Fast and the Furious” had was not quality. Charisma? Yes. Good effects? Granted. But quality? I’m afraid not, my friend, so why do we have to suffer through these horrible rip-offs? Directed by Joseph Kahn, who is, surprise, surprise, a music video director, composes one really bad B movie that isn’t even worthy of being called a B movie because it’s so blatantly a really long drawn out music video sans the music ad nauseum.
I, Robot (2004)
“I, Robot” is very, very loosely based on Asimov’s concept and stories, and, as much as I wanted to, I didn’t hate it. As a matter of fact, I had a real blast. The first point this had up for it was the fact it was directed Alex Proyas, Proyas is the director of two of my favorite films of the past fifteen years, the first one being the imaginative and beautifully morbid film “Dark City”, and one of my favorite films of all time “The Crow” a marvelous ode to the legacy of Brandon Lee, one of my film icons. Proyas is one great underrated director and he puts his skills to work in this wild and fun but still thought-provoking film. Will Smith plays Dell Spooner, an officer for the now futuristic Chicago who despises robots. The problem with his hatred for them is that they’re everywhere now under servitude as tools for humans like a utensil.
Bulletproof Monk (2003)
I never read an issue of the actual comic this was based on, but judging by this often times ridiculous and stupid piece of popcorn numb skullery, the comic can’t be that good. This is the type of stuff that would appeal to a fourteen year old boy, the type of film that unfortunately plays more like a “Power Rangers” episode than an actual comic book movie with an awful fight sequence in the opening amidst a backdrop of a bad CGI forest in which Chow Yun Fat, our hero, and his master fight along a bridge as a young boy looks on. The young boy, by the way, is shown quite often, but disappears later on in the movie to play no role whatsoever, but I digress. This is one of those films with one of those odd realities in which everyone, everyone knows Kung Fu! Even the German soldier villains. I don’t know it. I can handle myself well, but I don’t know kung fu, but alas, if I lived in this reality I’d know it automatically. If only, eh?
Saw (2004)

The Butterfly Effect (2004)
“The Butterfly Effect” is a rather ludicrous hybrid of two very good movies “Donnie Darko”, and “Frequency” and what results is the bastard child of the two. It’s a pretty dumb and utterly pretentious jumbled drama that is never sure what it’s trying to say, or what in fact it means. Is it a tragedy? Drama? Thriller? Science Fiction? Fractured Romance? Does the butterfly effect really apply to this, or is that theory just used as a plot device for this? I was never really sure, but what I was sure of is that this definitely is none of the more complex dimensions.



