Why did I even long for a Grind House revival, when it was happening right under my nose? You may be surprised to hear this, but I can be a bit slow witted at times. Right now, there are about a hundred young directors creating movies, all of whom are just clamoring to re-invent the Grind House and exploitation genre, and they just don’t get enough of the credit that they deserve for accomplishing what Hollywood has tried so desperately to do. The proof in the pudding is this utterly fantastic production short from Cinephreak Pictures that aces every feeling and novelty you get from a Grind House film, with a touch of Blaxploitation for good measure.
Tag Archives: Exploitation
Deep Throat (1972)
Doctor: Having a clitoris at the bottom of your throat is better than having no clitoris at all.
Linda: That’s easy for you to say! Imagine having your balls on your ears!
Doctor: Well… then I could hear myself cumming!
You know it, you love it, you pretend not to know what it is in front of certain company, it’s “Deep Throat,” a movie that’s become so utterly famous that it’s also helped to define the oral sex technique that’s like average fellatio, but amps it up a notch. I won’t sit here and explain the difference between regular blow jobs, and deep throating, because I know that you know what the actual difference is, no matter how much you deny it in the end. “Deep Throat,” much like “Debbie Does Dallas,” is one of the porn classics that really go beyond its genre. This is a film that’s become a staple of pop culture and really did shake everyone up to their boots for the simple fact that it was a huge hit. And for the fact that the success for the film was less about the film’s quality, and more on the gravitas it brought with it to seedy movie theaters. I mean what’s not to like about it? It’s only an hour long, features hardcore sex scenes, the late great Linda Lovelace, and has a title that pretty much describes the entire plot.
Debbie Does Dallas (1978)
Let me tell you, its tough reviewing one of the most famous porn movies ever made. Hell, its tough reviewing porn, period. How do you review a porno movie? I can’t really speak on the acting, because hell, it’s a porn movie, there aren’t Oscar winning performances. And the production quality is abysmal. So, how do I go about this, I ask myself. But you’re probably asking why I’m reviewing a porno movie. Well, it’s just because this over-opinionated asshole wanted to throw his three cents in on this classic film. You’ve all heard about it. You know about it, so I thought I’d just give you the lowdown. The reason “Debbie Does Dallas” is such a bonafide classic is simply because it has everything men and women like in a porno. The sex scenes are staged fantasies, the cast is comprised of cheerleaders, and our main character is hot. “Debbie Does Dallas” has a huge history in the film medium. For proof on that, check out “Debbie Does Dallas Uncovered,” and you’ll see what I mean. The reason why “Debbie Does Dallas” was big was because of Bambi Woods. People attribute the success of this film to many things, but I pin it on Bambi Woods. Woods isn’t (or wasn’t, if she’s actually dead) a fox in the strictest sense.
Maniac (1980)
“Maniac” is a different kind of slasher film, one so incredibly vile and utterly wretched that you’ll be forced to decide if you enjoyed this or not. I experienced the same conflict of decision. Did I enjoy this or not? I’m not entirely sure, but a good part of me says “yes.” At a time when the Son of Sam was still fresh on everyone’s minds, “Maniac” is the closest depiction of a madman on the streets that we’ll ever get again. We don’t just watch this madman destroy folks, we learn about him, and we get into his mind.
Grindhouse (2007)
Let’s face it fair readers, I was born in the wrong era. While I’m living in the time of cell phones and reality television, I should be living in the time of grind houses, and porno theaters. While I’m in a time of Kelly Clarkson, I should be in a time of Donna Summer. Simply put, I wish I was born during another time. But, you have to admit, Tarantino and Rodriguez got what they wanted. They wanted to create the grind house experience, and that’s exactly what I received. A double feature, scratchy film, and an empty theater. It’s me and my family, and about four other people, and no one got the joke. Continue reading
Ilsa the Tigress of Siberia (1977)
Ilsa and the great Dyanne Thorne are at it once again, this time in the sub-zero wastelands of Siberia. Ilsa is once again untouched and hardly a day old from her time as a World War II concentration camp owner, and grooming harem girls. Now, with LaFleur’s often sloppy direction, she helps run a labor camp in the forests of Siberia teamed with a group of violent soldiers, a cannibal tiger, and plenty of snow. Ilsa is once again the devil in sheep’s clothing, the egomaniacal merciless monster that dispenses of men in her own ways. She bashes their heads in, lets them be eaten alive by her pet tiger, and uses them as toys leaving them in the snow to freeze to death. Unlike “Haremkeeper for the Oil Shieks,” this sequel is a much better entry.
Switchblade Sisters (1975)
All these years I was pretty sure that there’d never be another gangster movie that equaled “The Warriors” in terms of pure atmosphere and grit. And then I saw “Switchblade Sisters.” Sure, it’s not as good as “The Warriors,” but it makes a damn good argument of equaling it in quality. “Switchblade Sisters” is a hard film to dislike. I’m not going to claim it’s the perfect gangster movie, but watching a bunch of tough broads fighting off prison wardens is still as exciting as watching The Warriors battle The Lizzies. It’s past its time, sure, but it’s also aged pretty damn well. The gung-ho corniness, colorful characters, and unflinching bad-ass attitude are just so damn entertaining, and Hill is never apologetic about displaying this film as a fantasy, that’s also acceptably outlandish.