March of the Wooden Soldiers/Babes in Toyland (1934)

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Here in New York City, there’s been a tradition for almost thirty years that the local television station channel 11 also known as WPIX airs a yearly broadcast of Laurel and Hardy’s “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” Though it’s mostly known as “Babes in Toyland,” ever since I was a young child, I’ve identified it by “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” For some odd reason it’s just been a tradition to view it every year on Thanksgiving, and it just seems to pair up with the holiday season so well. There are appearances from every fairy tale character imaginable from the three little pigs, to the three blind mice, along with an appearance from Mickey Mouse, The incomparable duo of Dum and Dee even work at Santa’s shop creating toys for him for the Christmas rush.

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Our Top Ten Spielberg Films Of All Time

It’s not a secret to many who visit Cinema Crazed, or to many who know us that Steven Spielberg is our favorite film director of all time. The man has managed to re-think the way we look at film and filmmaking, and is one of the few film directors living today who can deliver a good old fashioned story that can inspire and amaze without rotting our teeth with over simplistic and sugary storytelling. Sure, he’s faltered a few times, but even his weakest films are much better than anything most young directors can deliver in cinemas today. Steven Spielberg has managed to stay relevant in an ever growing populace of movie goers with incredibly short attention spans who want flash and explosions over genuine storytelling, and for any director that’s a feat and a half.

He helped invent the blockbuster, helped define franchising, helped engineer the special edition (for better or worse), and he’s carved an amazing career from films that have touched, awed, and invoked conversation about movie goers and film buffs alike. Fanatics, supporters, and often apologists, we’ve followed Spielberg for years as he’s been one of our earliest memories of film going ever. There aren’t many guarantees in life. But the one thing we think life can guarantee is that there will always be a movie to grant me the same awe and wonderment every single time we pop in a film from Steven Spielberg.

Whether it’s a tale about a lone tourist in an airport, or the plight of the Jews in World War II, Spielberg can and always has guaranteed that awe and sheer enthusiasm for film will come with a film from his. And they guarantee to outlive Steven Spielberg even at the age of 66. Spielberg may just be a man biding his time in delivering masterpiece after masterpiece, but his films will have a shelf life of many many decades and introduce young audiences to the awe and charm of filmmaking as Spielberg did for us. We celebrate Steven Spielberg’s 66th birthday with our top ten Spielberg Films of All Time. So far.

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Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

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It’s rare that a film targeted toward the Christmas holiday can manage to not only capture the magic of the holiday spirit and its intent, but the beauty of the human spirit. George Seaton’s iconic “Miracle on 34th Street” isn’t just about Christmas and the spirit of the yearly event, but the kindness of the human soul and the remarkable things we’re capable of when our hearts are in the right place. It’s interesting to note that though “Miracle on 34th Street” lives on as a family film and a holiday movie, George Seaton’s picture stands on its own as a raucous comedy, and one that will draw laughs thanks to some great slapstick and hilarious one-liners that still manage to hit their marks.

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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Ghost-Rider_SoVIf this sequel had any balls, they’d take the reins of Johnny Blaze and hand the character over to someone talented like Idris Elba. At least then there’d be an interesting angle to this wretched sequel to a painfully mediocre movie that barely anyone remembers. Nicolas Cage once again proves he has no business being in film, reclaiming the role of Johnny Blaze, the balding mid-fifties biker who was cursed as Ghost Rider after making a deal with the devil. In case you didn’t know that, there’s five minutes of bad exposition along with Cage narration explaining the entire mythology of the Rider and what he does in particular, cue terrible animation. Most of the time during the opening animation, Cage sounds like even he doesn’t take this garbage seriously, and spend most of it making light of what is supposed to be a terrifying and mystifying character in the comic book universe.

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The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)

gstringsI still don’t quite understand the appeal of Seduction Cinema. Hell, even I find the movies they release to be entertaining and appealing. The women are hot, sure, but this is the age of the internet where pictures and videos of hot women are at your finger tips in seconds. And surely there are more hardcore films out there with hotter women. Surely, it can’t be the sex scenes since all of the sequences involve light kissing and mild petting. Watching a movie from Seduction Cinema is akin to getting your crotch rubbed over thick pants.

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Help for the Holidays (2012)

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It’s Summer Glau as the cutest elf ever created. As her future husband and father of her children, I have to support my gal. It’s only logical.

You say delusional, I say hopeful. I guess other people star in this movie, too, but Summer Glau stars as optimistic elf Christine, one of Santa’s most important elves who dreams of another world where Christmas isn’t the focus of every day. Christine gets her wish when Santa gets an alert that there’s a family that has lost their Christmas spirit and is in need of some fun and love. Christine is sent as an agent in to a small town to help mom Sara VanCamp (Eva LaRue), a local store owner, re-claim her spirit and discover how much she’s missing of her children. Christine’s journey is of course the one that matters in the film, as she figures out the real world is much more difficult than she ever realized and every choice she makes with the new assignment has their consequence.

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Unbreakable (2000)

In the year 2000, after M. Night Shyamalan premiered his innate storytelling ability with the surprise supernatural thriller “The Sixth Sense,” he pretty much dashed expectations with a follow-up film that no one was expecting. Initially considered a poor follow-up, M. Night Shyamalan really approached a film that could well within his storytelling parameters, and he did so with a subtlety and humility that’s finally being appreciated. “Unbreakable” is a rather underrated masterpiece, and one that really does pay homage to the comic book mythology that society generally looks down upon. By approaching the comic book mythos with a straight face and a somewhat surprising dramatic dignity, M. Night Shyamalan adds a realism to the superhero origin story that’s deliberately paced and absolutely compelling to witness.

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