Director-Writer Justin Timpane is back and he’s bringing fanged fucks with him in the sequel to his highly entertaining “Ninjas vs. Zombies.” Except this time he’s armed with a bigger budget and a cast with more acting abilities this go around. The versus titles are a niche in the Straight to DVD market, so Timpane is already ahead of the game with the sequel to his franchise which sees an innocent bystander fall to the clutches of a vampire attack only to be saved at the last minute by the Ninja clan who arrive in time to hunt the vamps, but not prevent our protagonist from becoming a vampire.
Tag Archives: Fantasy
Ninjas vs. Zombies (2008)
I love how in the very middle of the film when hero Randall has lost all hope he’s greeted by the vision of a young girl who insists the only way to beat the zombies is ninjas. Almost as if that’s been the natural choice for every decision involving zombies in pop culture. Ninjas, duh! “Ninjas vs. Zombies” is the pop culture ode that I could definitely get behind. Sure it’s micro budget and lacking in solid performances, but it’s such an unabashed celebration of this ridiculous concept it’s tough not to enjoy. I’m not surprised there’s a follow-up on the way, that’s for sure.
Thor (2011)
Marvel’s Thor has always skidded on the edge of mainstream entertainment and literary fare. As a comic book series it’s always been one of the most sophisticated of the pantheon of characters, so not every fan has subscribed to what tale the god of thunder has told fans for decades. And even with big names leading the pack like Natalie Portman and Kenneth Branagh, “Thor” is a hard sell for fans of the superhero cinema who want their entertainment and battles here and now and have to wait for their meals.
Insidious (2011)
Assuredly one of my favorite horror films of the year, it’s safe to say that director Wes Craven never stood a chance. With the creators of “Paranormal Activity” and “Saw” behind the horrific “Insidious” it was a safe bet a classic story about ghosts and goblins would do wonders over mere films about slashers and the modern internet age. One part “Poltergeist” and “Altered States,” and two parts “The Haunting,” director James Wans’ ghost story is the classic creaks by the stairs story about an average family who move in to a house and discover that the past residents of the house have decided they want to stay.
Wheels on Meals (Kuai can che) (1984)
Almost thirty years later, Sammo Hung’s “Wheels on Meals” is still one of the technically proficient martial arts films ever made. It’s just too bad there’s not much to it beyond the martial arts. Primarily it works as a comedy of two men fallen for the same woman whose entire antics are steeped in silent comedy that doesn’t club us over the head with obvious gags. But “Wheels on Meals” is sadly lagging and long in the tooth as an action film that professes mid-way to be nothing more than a romance comedy with martial arts back drops that do nothing to enhance the overall narrative.
Hop (2011)
Unpleasant, unfunny and uninspiring, “Hop” is so much more awful than I’d originally predicted primarily because it took my rock bottom expectations and dashed them by delivering an even worse movie than my optimism would have allowed. I had hopes for “Hop” originally, and I’d opted on giving it a fair shake, but found myself genuinely annoyed by every inch of this disingenuous holiday commercial that is about as much about the holiday as Garry Marshall’s “Valentine’s Day” was in 2010. “Hop” is such a corporate tool that it feels like upon its original conception it was marketed to Hallmark and American Greetings for the sole sake of EB.
Ninja Cheerleaders (2008)
You know what? “Ninja Cheerleaders” is trash but it’s trash you can admire. It’s a mixture of “3 Ninjas” with some “Bikini Carwash” for good measure, a veritable knock off of TMNT where director David Presley replaces teenage ninja turtles for teenage ninja cheerleaders. Starring three gorgeous and often cute young women, “Ninja Cheerleaders” tries for nothing more than pushing the limit upon with our actresses are willing to go. So while there is innuendo, there’s never any sex, and the women here are never sure if they want to be feminist icons or trashy slutty molds for what the movie begs. The plot is nothing you haven’t seen a thousand times before.