Hey Vern! Guess what? Ernest is on DVD again! And this time Mill Creek Entertainment is bringing us the follow up to their release of “Hey Vern!” and it’s a triple feature of three of the most questionable Ernest films ever made. Sure, to the American public they may not be classics, but to those of us who grew up with the lovable Ernest whose intentions were at least admirable, you can’t help but feel a considerable fondness and soft hearted approach toward three movies that vary vastly in style and tone. “Ernest Goes to Jail” is a definite Ernest outing that dabbles on the verge of adult humor and is much too surreal and dark for kids to actually enjoy. But on the upside there is “Ernest Scared Stupid!” a definite kids film in which Ernest must fight tree trolls with Miak that’s kind of spooky but intended as a Halloween film with some good hearted humor and Ernest’s usual sense of attire that varies from the “wacky” to the “what the hell?”
Tag Archives: Gangster
You Have to See This! Leon: The Professional (1994)
Leon is a hit man, the best hit man working for Tony. He kills without a sound, without any emotion, he has only one rule “no woman, no child”, he’s the perfect hit man. Leon lives in the same building as Mathilda and her dysfunctional family. Mathilda’s father is a drug-dealer who does not care much, her stepmom does not seem to like her much, and her big sister seems to hate her. Mathilda’s sole solace is her younger brother, whom she loves very dearly. Comes in New York City’s crooked DEA, Norman Stansfield, who hired Mathilda’s father as a drug dealer. After the drugs are found to have been cut, Stansfield demands an answer as to how this has happened by 12 noon the next day.
Shutter Island (2010)
“Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?”
When I was finished with “Shutter Island,” I understood what director Martin Scorsese was pushing for in the area of a dark and complex journey of a man in to the bowels of a mysterious island. I understood that deep down Scorsese had an ambitious and admirable hunger to bring to us a modern “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” but ultimately, his efforts fail to bring a work of art that’s grandiose but low key in its effort to make a commentary about the human soul and the psyche. While the character of Teddy Daniels ends up becoming a truly tragic and complex individual, the caveat with “Shutter Island” is that everything surrounding the character of Daniels ends up becoming rather lackluster and limp. Especially when the surprise twist is given away so easily in the original trailers.
Machete (2010)
Robert Rodriguez proves with “Machete” that his and Tarantino’s little experiment entitled “Grindhouse” was much more of a failure than fans originally suspected. While both of their original films were basic flops at the box-office, Rodriguez is given another shot with “Machete” a film that began life in popularity as a mock grindhouse trailer before “Planet Terror” and eventually became a feature length film. And much like most of Rodriguez’ films, he takes what could have been an amazing premise and turns it in to a scattered, confusing, and muddled piece of action cinema that throws a host of characters at the screen, all of whom he can barely keep up with at one time.
Wanted Dead or Alive (1986)
In the eighties, Rutger Hauer was king. He was a man who managed to impress as both villain and anti-hero in many movies from the classic “The Hitcher” and “Bladerunner” to the not so classic but memorable “Blind Fury.” And as is the case, with every generation of bad asses, there’s always someone Hollywood is looking to peg as the next McQueen. “Wanted: Dead or Alive” is based on the excellent Western series starring Steve McQueen as a lone bounty hunter in the old west who travels along the land with his shot gun acquiring his next catch and teaching them lessons along the way while fighting the local bad guys. As is the case with the eighties, director Gary Sherman completely diminishes all of its period settings and sets its hero down in to modern times coating him with black leather, slicked back hair and teaming him against local terrorists as played by the tongued one Gene Simmons.
The Boondock Saints (1999)
Watching “The Boondock Saints” is something of an experience, and one that I’m actively working on forgetting as soon as humanly possible. Director Troy Duffy’s action trashapalooza is much too mind-numblingly moronic to be taken as an earnest effort for indie action cinema, and much too stern to be considered camp garbage. You can clearly sense director and writer Troy Duffy working actively to portray every single character in this film as something to be taken with a straight face and a shiver, but in the end none of it works out for the better.
Rock Slyde (2009)
Instantly I knew that “Rock Slyde” was nothing but a wasted effort when main character Rock Slyde declares “Keep and eye on Bart, he’s up to something fishy… kind of like fish.” To where we’re reduced to a scene of Rock and his secretary literally comparing fish to crab. Hey you have to give them credit for trying, but every single person in and behind “Rock Slyde” is a lot like that spider in the tub struggling to keep its head above water and you just know it won’t survive. “Rock Slyde” is basically just a string of nonsensical vastly unfunny jokes, gags, and one-liners all of which seems to have been written from comedy class 101 at the local community center. When in doubt, point out the joke we’ve just seen. When in doubt, drive a pun in to the ground as much as possible until it gets sickening.