The Depression of Detective Downs 2: On Depression's Edge (2011)

dtectivedowns2How do you stop the city’s most insane criminals when you yourself are on the brink of insanity? Who do the heroes turn to when they’re about to lose their minds? That’s the questions asked during the sequel to “The Depression of Detective Downs” a wonderful closer to an already great saga about Detective Rolando Downs, a well meaning detective who is so at odds with life that all he can do is watch the days fade away all the while witness his luck turn sour with every passing moment.

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Shrunken Heads (1994)

Shrunken-Heads-VHS-boxI remember seeing the preview for “Shrunken Heads” back in 1994 during the end of a double feature from the video store and even then I thought the idea was a weird one. A kids movie about disembodied shrunken heads getting revenge on their murderer is unusual. “Shrunken Heads” is a strange god awful movie, but one that affords itself some nostalgic value so while it is a waste of talent and resources, it’s not totally a waste of time. Whether it’s Danny Elfman’s involvement as the sound track artist, or Meg Foster curiously cross dressed as an Italian mobster with a pomp haircut, every single move to this movie is confusing and often times disorienting.

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Savage Streets (1984)

“Savage Streets” is one of my favorite Linda Blair Trash fests, a bona fide grind house spectacular that examines the plight of over privileged white kids who all pose as gangs upon night fall. The streets of surburbia become savage every night with the screeches and howls and Danny Steinmann’s youth gone wild cinematic trip is an exploration in to the aimlessness of this crime spree two groups of youths embark on. Part “The Warriors,” and part “The Outsiders,” there is even John Vernon to tangle with, who makes it his mission to take down the group of men terrorizing the school with drug deals.

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Ninja Assassin (2009)

Ninja-Assassin-WallWhile I appreciate the inherent ambition behind the script written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski, any and all potential for absolute entertainment is wasted in the first fifteen minutes. Folks looking for a splatterific ninja quest will find the prologue to be one of the most grotesque and twisted openings to a ninja film. And then it goes downhill from there. It seems like the writers just aren’t happy enough with exploring the quest of ninja Raizo, but they instead want to focus on back story after meaningless back story.

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The Town (2010)

TOWN_UK_KeyArt_WallpaperBen Affleck impressed with his debut as director for “Gone Baby Gone,” a criminally underrated film. And he manages to impress yet again with “The Town,” a film about crime becoming a way of life, and death just another consequence for a profession. When is enough finally enough for someone? This is examined with Doug McRay, a man who has resorted to robbing banks for a living after a descent in to drugs. He’s mastered bank robbing down to a fine art, and one he specializes in that keeps him and his group of gun toting guns for hire constantly on the verge of being murdered on the job. As examined by the prologue, crime is often a way of life for folks in their city, and with Charlestown being the number one source for bank robbers, Doug only knows how to commit crimes, and is a veteran of such an common trade that he can barely remember what life was like before it.

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Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011)

big-mommaslI love how studios assume that just because you stuff a moderately funny man like Ken Jeong in a hip moderately entertaining show like “Community,” you’re destined for comedic greatness. They thought they could work Jeong in for easy laughs in “Vampires Suck!” and they failed. And lo and behold he shows up in the first five minutes of “Big Momma’s” playing–what else–a crazy Asian man who happens to be a disgruntled postal worker. No one in “Big Momma’s” acts like an actual person you’d see on the street. No one would actually chase down and violently tussle with a mailman but hey, Martin Lawrence is grasping at straws in the final film series he really seems to be holding on to for dear life.

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Bonnie and Clyde vs. Dracula (2011)

bcvdAh that Dracula sure does get around, doesn’t he? He’s met more historical figures than Forrest Gump. In the grand tradition of “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula,” “Emmanuelle vs. Dracula” and “Batman vs. Dracula” comes the lost adventure of two of the world’s most notorious criminals and their confrontation with the lord of darkness. Timothy Friend’s horror crime thriller is in the hokey tradition of absurd battles and there hasn’t been one more absurd since Bonnie and Clyde’s meeting with the undead. Tiffany Shepis stars as Bonnie along Trent Haaga as Clyde in their efforts to thwart off rival criminals and the lawman as they travel across the country. Now down on their luck after a series of unfortunate events leave them penniless and without a car, they meet up with an old friend promising them a big job robbing a local bank.

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