It should serve as no surprise to the people who know me that I think “Cabin Fever” is without a doubt one of the worst horror movies ever made and one of the worst movies ever made. Seeing it in theaters was definitely one of the most excruciating and disappointing experiences I’ve ever had. This led me to form a pure hatred for Eli Roth and everything he stands for. Not to mention I did not enjoy Ti West’s film debut “The Roost,” so the chances of a sequel to Roth’s piece of junk entertaining me was utterly slim.
Tag Archives: Gore
The Final Destination (2009) (DVD)
Yep this is it, the Final Destination, the alleged final installment in the “Final Destination” franchise that promises to close up the entire storyline. And yes, I’m not buying it either. When there is money to be made, sequels are still a potential cash cow and I think the series will continue to live on when the studios decide it’s time to make some money off of this carnival of cruel and painful deaths. What “The Final Destination” promises is not what it delivers. There are simply no questions answered to the big questions. Who are chosen to receive these premonitions? Are these people just random or do they possess unusual powers or gifts? Are they apart of a legacy or do they just happen to be apart of an accident or misfire? Who or what grants them these premonitions? Does death give it to them as some sort of sick game? And if there is some mystical being granting these people the gift to foretell the next move of death why do they want these people to be one step ahead of death?
Chainsaw Maid (2007)
Around four months ago I deeply considered reviewing “Chainsaw Maid” for the site mainly because I thought it was so well made. These days I’m almost sorry that I opted out of reviewing “Chainsaw Maid” because it’s become somewhat of a cult hit. How did this happen? The animation is rigid. The claymation basic, and the story is so incredible one note, and yet when all is said and done I’d actually sit and watch a ninety minute live action version of “Chainsaw Maid.” What’s the big deal about this movie? Well, as a person who can’t speak Asian, the director, and writer are basically unknown to me, and there’s a strong character motivation in spite of the fact that there’s zero dialogue.
Midnight Meat Train (2008)
I hate the subways, I’ve always hated the subways; they’re dark, dank, merciless and filled with running machines that you can’t control thus you are immediately trapped if you find yourself on the wrong pod in the middle of the night. What if it stops mid tunnel? Will it go? Will it ever keep running? How far does the rabbit hole go, and what’s in these holes we’ve never explored? That’s the questions posed in “Midnight Meat Train,” Ryuhei Kitamura’s tale of a subway serial killer that have been somewhat of an anomaly in the horror world. It’s one that many have desired to see but few have been able to, and I’m glad to say that it’s well worth the wait many of us are enduring that may go on for another year or so. Who knows when the masses will be able to see it, if at all?
Dead Fury (2008)
Frank Sudol’s “Dead Fury” is inspired by classics such as “John Carpenter’s The Thing,” “Evil Dead” and most likely “Night of the Living Dead” and as such is a clear homage that notifies the audience of its intentions before the credits even roll. I’m a fan of Sudol’s “City of Rott” even in spite of the general problems it had in the final act, and he follows it up with a surreal and unusually constructed monster in the house story about four friends out on a hunting trip who find… demons? I want to say Demons who act like Zombies. Either way, “Dead Fury” is a film that’s been met with a bit of scorn from critics, but I like it.
Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964)
When “Two Thousand Maniacs!” arrived into the cult kingdom of the horror geek, Herschell Gordon Lewis’s horror comedy was an all out assault to Southern xenophobia and fanaticism, as well as a look at the vengeful spirit the South possessed if society continued to evolve from an Aryan aristocracy, to a melting pot of multi-racial ethics and politics. I mean, I’m sure there’s a vengeful spirit for almost anything, including pure evil, and Lewis’s horror comedy is a stripped down, low budget over the top horror film about the vicious unforgiving ghosts of the South who wreak havoc on outsiders that have evolved in the new world, punishing them for their decadence, sexuality, and freedom.
Zombies Strippers! (2008)
Jay Lee tries his damndest to take porn star retiree (how long will that last?) Jenna Jameson and posits her as the next B movie scream queen a la Linnea Quigley or Debbie Rochon and I have to set it straight that Jameson will not be the next anything in horror. Any and all attempts to gain some sense of pop culture standing, beyond being a famous porn star have been fruitless and quixotic (her comic proved that). However, as a person who was excited about and interested in seeing “Zombie Strippers!” Jameson isn’t that bad here and that’s because Lee doesn’t ask much from her beyond name recognition.