Skeeter (1993)

I almost want to sue the producers of “Skeeter” for false advertising, but then, what’s the use? And why bother? “Skeeter” really is better off being a very obscure and god awful horror film. Why even name a movie “Skeeter” if you’re only going to include four very short attacks by giant mosquitoes, most of whom seem anxious to take off before we really get in to the chaos?

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Animal (2014)

animal-2014Anything featuring Elizabeth Gillies or Keke Palmer gets my automatic attention, so “Animal” was really an easy sell for me. True, it’s another horror film from Chiller Films, but, you know—Elizabeth Gillies and Keke Palmer. So, I’m willing to compromise. Thankfully “Animal” ends up being a very entertaining and creepy monster in the house horror film that feels like it could have been made in the mid-nineties. That’s by no means a caveat, as Brett Simmons’ “Animal” is a healthy amalgam of “The Descent” and “Feast,” with a hint of “Night of the Living Dead.” Simmons doesn’t try to break the mold. But he doesn’t strive to regurgitate the same old tropes, either.

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Our Top Ten “Tales from the Crypt” Episodes of All Time

tales-from-the-crypt-logo-and-keeper

My love and appreciation for “Tales from the Crypt” didn’t happen immediately. I missed the entire run of the series when it was on HBO, because at the time my family didn’t have cable. However, later when the series ran every Saturday at midnight on network television, my family and I would watch every weekend and enjoy the horrific delights that the cryptkeeper would serve up.

The series remained a favorite of mine for many years, and still manages to pack a punch as a successor to “Creepshow” as an anthology series with twists, turns, and a brutally dark sense of humor. It was a tough task, but we picked out our top ten episodes of the entire series run. What are some of your favorites from the classic horror series?

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The Shift (2015)

The-ShiftIt’s pretty astonishing how much story Francesco Calabrese is able to tell and establish in just eight minutes. “The Shift” is both a horror film and a meta-film at once, exploring a very picturesque scene draped in pure terror. “The Shift” is set in the sixties. Or at least, the neighborhood we view looks very much of its time and Betty has just decided that it’s the sixties. In either case, all is not serene when we fade in to “The Shift.” When Joe returns home from work, he is knocked out awakens to find the ginger haired beauty Betty awaiting him.

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Phobia (2013)

It’s interesting that director Rory Abel’s horror drama “Phobia” works on various levels. As a movie about a man dealing with the trauma of a horrible accident that left him an agoraphobe, “Phobia” works. I found much of the material involving agoraphobia to be very compelling, and often very suffocating. Director Abel is able to convey a shockingly accurate depiction of agoraphobia, with actor Michael Jefferson giving a remarkable turn as a man confined to his two story brown stone. It’s when the movie transforms in to a more supernatural thriller is where it falters.

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ABCs of Death 2 (2014)

ABCSofDeath2I had a real fondness for “ABC’s of Death,” mainly because it was so bold and creative, even when it was very polarizing. Sure there were junky segments like “M is for Miscarriage,” but it was a fun experiment, overall. I’d love to think of “ABC’s of Death 2” as a home run, but it’s a poor follow-up. Much of the segments have something of a self-importance this time around, and the more compelling shorts are few and far between. The tonal inconsistencies are just about gone this time around, but that also leaves the film feeling oddly monotonous. I found myself counting the minutes rather than really enjoying the segments and experience, which is sad considering there’s prime talent behind this project.

As I mentioned, the terrible segments just outweighed the good, and took down what should have been a great follow up. Some of the worst segments of the bunch include “C is for Capital Punishment,” an abrupt and rushed thriller about a man accused of murder in a small town, “Deloused” which seemed like random imagery and nonsense in a stop motion aesthetic, and “Equilibrium” which felt downright misogynistic. Not to mention it went on way too long just to get to the punch line. “Invincible” from Erik Matti is downright irritating, while “Youth” and “Zygote” felt like sanctimonious social commentary without much of a point. I’m all for horror with substance, but horror that’s actually menacing and leading in to something.

Among my favorites though was Evan Katz’s hilarious and sick “Amateur,” the utterly hilarious “Badger” from Julian Barrett, and the creepy approach to tentacle porn “Torture Porn” from the Soska Sisters. Vincenzo Natali provides audiences with a creepy short entitled “Utopia” about the perfect society, while “Knell” is a creepy silent short about the end of the world and one girl witnessing it all. “Masticate” from Robert Boocheck is a funny short with a great surprise ending, while “Falling” is a neat tale about irony and war time. I also shockingly loved Steven Kostanski’s “Wish” about two boys warped in to their favorite universe in the vein of “He-Man” and find out how utterly barbaric it is.

My two favorite segments that made “The ABC’s of Death 2” so worth the money spent is Juan Martinez Moreno’s excellent “Split,” about a young woman who is stalked by a hammer wielding maniac while her husband listens over the phone. The surprise ending is just genius. “Vacation” is pure dark comedy and madness personified as director Jerome Sable sets on a young man talking to his girlfriend over a phone cam during a vacation with his best friend. When his friend yanks the phone, he shows how the mundane getaway is anything but. I really wish I’d have appreciated “The ABC’s of Death 2” as much as the original. While there are a slew of talented filmmakers on board for the follow-up, the segments just lack variety and innovation resulting in a humdrum sequel.

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Bunks (2013)

bunksMix “Meatballs” with “Return of the Living Dead” and you have “Bunks,” a horror comedy that should not be so entertaining. For a movie that’s rated PG and is primarily for kids, “Bunks” is shockingly exciting and often creepy, but that’s how far the zombie sub-genre has embedded itself in to pop culture. We now have PG horror comedies with brain eating zombies. What’s even more surprising is that director Tibor Takács is able to get away with a lot here, including some mild violence and a lot suggested intense violence.

After Dylan and Dane manage to fool their rivals Sanjay and Delory in to attending boot camp, the pair of brothers takes their identities and play counselors for the summer at Camp Bushwhacked. While exploring an old cabin, the brothers and fellow campers find a mysterious book filled with scary stories. Little do they know that “Bushwhacked” is cursed and has instilled a no scary stories policy. Unaware, they tell the legend of a group of campers that fall victim to a scientist testing his zombie serum, trapping Anson Minor in the lab forever. Telling the story unleashes Anson once again to roam the woods feeding on the brains of local campers. As the zombie plague begins once again, Dylan and Dane have to figure out how to end his reign of terror.

When a rival camper discovers Anson in his lab, he breaks the collar that can control his urges, thus unleashing a zombie apocalypse. “Bunks” is a surprisingly creepy and tense movie that relies on slapstick comedy and interesting twists on the zombie formula to entertain the audience. Not only does the impending zombie apocalypse release a furor of chaos, but the campers have to work together to figure out a serum to end the zombie plague, and tame Anson. Tibor Takács pulls off balancing kid friendly comedy with zombie horror well, implementing some really atmospheric zombie attacks, along with a lot of laugh out loud fodder.

From the motorized ball machine attack, to the camp counselor that refuses to admit her boyfriend Crawl is a zombie due to his status as head counselor, “Bunks” uses the camp setting to its advantage and never slows down. The performances all around are top notch, including Aidan Shipley who is hilarious as the slacker Dane. Tom Keenan is also great as Anson, the “Bub” of the film who is good natured enough, but deadly when his collar malfunctions. Tibor Takács’s “Bunks” works well and gels together as a fine amalgam of sub-genres and classic summer camp fun for the PG crowds. For potential horror buffs, “Bunks” is a worthwhile introduction to zombie cinema.