It pains me that we have to sit through the “Final Destination” films when it can be developed in to something with a rich mythos and an overreaching story arc that ties together various characters. Instead it trots out one death after the other and insultingly introduces a new plot element that is not only ridiculous but until now was never mentioned in a movie. Again “Final Destination” sets up a series of questions and never answers them. So I’m left asking why. And with no successful answers. Because the producers behind “Final Destination” don’t feel the need to turn this series in to a semi-intelligent franchise, they just want this to be the films with the outstanding deaths.
Tag Archives: Horror
Chillerama (2011)
“Chillerama” feels like yet another production from the indie underground circuit that looks like it was so much fun to make. Everyone had a lot of laughs, the scripts were probably riots, and the directors joint efforts probably elicited a lot of pats on the backs. But when you see “Chillerama” you begin to realize that it was much more fun to make than it is to watch. I like Adam Green, I enjoy throwbacks to drive-in cinema, and I adore anthologies, but “Chillerama” is a swing and total miss for the directors whose entire project is summed up by bad sex jokes, flat dialogue, and poor effects.
The Thing (2011)
In director John Carpenter’s masterpiece of contemporary horror cinema entitled “The Thing,” we’re told that not only is the beast of the film weak, thus forced to take on the shape and form of humanity, but it also acts as an independent species. So while we think we may be seeing one monster, there’s an off chance this thing is really multiple organisms struggling for survival by hiding in our skin. There’s no one true thing in the Carpenter film, possibly multiple or even dozens of monsters hiding in our skins that we’re killing off one by one who continue regenerating. The wholly unnecessary “The Thing” now in 2011, completely shatters such a thesis by informing us that yes there’s one thing, and yes, this is what it looks like. Within the first fifteen minutes of the film.
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)
There’s no reason to watch Tom Six’s movies. I’ll just say it. The man, as far as I can see, is a haughty self-satisfied tool who has no loyalty to his craft or his fans. And yes he has fans. Honestly! “Human Centipede” bred a legion of torture porn fans convinced Six was on to something with his “artistic” enterprise in to human suffering. In reality Six has admitted his idea of Human Centipede is far-fetched. He doesn’t even stand by his film, often mocking it with hushed snickers. And now we have “Human Centipede II,” a meta-movie that shows Six’s general disgust and discontent for his fans. Here, the movie he made is really a movie and the world we live in is a black and white cesspool. His one true fan is a bulbous, obese, perverse, man-child who does nothing but revel in human suffering because he’s trying to manifest the Human Centipede for himself.
Zombie Apocalypse (2011)
The Asylum never met a trend they didn’t hop on to for all the moolah in the world. Since zombies are all the rage and have become something of a culture in the world, The Asylum naturally jumps on the bandwagon to offer up their own view of what the world would look like under the rule of the walking dead. Or “zombies” as the characters call them. This time around director Nick Lyon is at the helm and brings us a movie that is not so much an original film so much as it is a pastiche of better sub-genre offerings.
A Lonely Place to Die (2011)
After watching “A Lonely Place to Die” it’s a darn shame that Melissa George isn’t more widely acknowledged by American audiences. She has a unique striking beauty, a dazzling on-screen presence, delivers some truly strong performances, and plays a dashing on-screen heroine. After watching her in the hidden gem “Triangle” and now this near masterpiece of a thriller, I find it shocking that George isn’t a huge star in the states as she should be. She’s prone to playing strong often independent women and here she flexes her muscle and scowl with what can only be described as a teeth grinding thriller that will leave most audiences clutching their seats in agony.
Scream 4 (DVD) (2011)
It’s funny. Even with all of the technological improvements and modern facets that Wes Craven implements with “Scream 4” for his new Ghost Face Killer, this 2011 output of the “Scream” franchise still feels painfully dated and utterly irrelevant. At a time where slasher films were once old news and horror was a dead genre, “Scream” came on to the scene and revived both the slasher sub-genre and the horror genre once more. But during a time where horror has become choked with new directors, original visionaries, foreign artists, and remakes galore, “Scream 4” feels much too little and much too late. “Scream” maintained a firm relevance through the years for quite sometime because it was a welcomed revival that brought to mind why we liked the genre in the first place. But with the film industry becoming more and more a bastion for the new filmmaker with at home technology that allows him to cut a film in under a year so easily, “Scream 4” doesn’t really do much for the genre. Had this entry arrived five years ago I can safely say that Craven would have surely been welcomed in to theaters by yours truly, but there simply is nothing left to do with the “Scream” premise.